End of my rope

[ShuttyTown]

Hi all I’m just looking for some advice. My 10 month old has never been a good day time napper often only having an hour a day but recently however things have gone from bad to worse, she just refuses a nap, she can go 12 hours through the day without a sleep, she is exhausted, eyes look black underneath but she will just not give in. We have tried everything, cot, pram, settee, hugging to sleep, laying on the bed with her, laying on her floor next to the cot, in a bouncy chair etc etc. As soon as she shows the first sign of being sleepy we put her down for nap that doesn’t work, we have waited until she’s exhausted, that doesn’t work. She just screams and cries when laid down, fights to sit or stand, and will just get so angry and worked up she’ll make herself sick. Today she woke at 7.30am, the only sleep she had was 20 mins at 2pm. That was it until she went to bed at 6pm. She is a relatively good nighttime sleeper and will sleep 12 hours.

I really don’t know what else to try. I’m lucky she’s a good sleeper on an night but she drives me insane through the day. Help!

Cheers for all the help MN

Unpredictable catnaps are the bloody pits!

When I'm desperate, sometimes the only thing that works for us two (my baby is 8.5 months), is putting her on my back in the baby carrier sling, walking around and going about my daily business. Yes, it's a catnap but it refreshes her and I get some shit done.

You've tried when she starts to look sleepy and you've tried when she is exhausted. Have you tried before she's sleepy? You need to clock-watch like a hawk and not let her go longer than 2 hours before you offer a nap. She might not take the offer but if you miss the window, she can get a second wind and then you're battling anti-sleep hormones like adrenaline.

If you get up at 7.30am, try winding down for a morning nap around 9-9.30am. Go out for a walk in the pram/buggy/carrier for 10-15 minutes, come home, go into a darkened quiet room and do whatever it is that works at night time. (I feed to sleep, for example) If she's not into it, try again in an hour.

(The mums in the country I live in think I'm weird for bringing her inside. They just keep walking and walking with the pram until the baby is asleep and then they leave them outside with a baby monitor. After a while of doing this, they can significantly shorten/skip the walk. )

When she wakes up from her nap, don't let her go more than 2 hours before you try to wind her down again with a walk followed by a darkened room.

You will need to clear your schedule and not leave the house for a week or two. This sucks. Not going to lie.

Does she get up at the same time every day? If not, you need to get her up at the same time every day. This helps them get down for naps when everything happens at the same time.

My DS would only sleep in the pram/pushchair. I had to rock him to sleep in that. When he got to 8.5 months I had to do something as he was starting nursery at 9 months and they wouldn't rock him to sleep in a pushchair! I started by rocking him to sleep then transferring him to the cots, then rocking him in my arms till dozy and then transferring him until gradually I could just put him down and he would put himself to sleep. You are really lucky that she sleeps that well at night though!

Id say every 2 hours for a nap is way to much sleep btw!

I agree cute, but it's just to make sure she doesn't miss the sleep window and the baby gets a second wind (and it's just for a few weeks while they establish the nap time routine)

Thank you for your replies.
I had a home visit from the HV today for her 9 month check (even though she is nearly 11 months now!) and she said so long as she is sleeping as much as she does on an evening then not to worry about day time naps so not sure what to do now.

Thank you for your post @Wonderflonium, I can’t do what you’ve suggested though as I work as a dinner lady in a school every day so my DD goes to my DM’s house while I’m out so she can only really nap in someone’s arms or on the sofa there then I have school run to do for my DS.

I just don’t understand how she can get so exhausted but not go to sleep, could it be separation anxiety?

You're welcome. Aww, that sucks. Could she nap in the pram outside your mum's like a Danish baby?! (just kidding) I'm glad the hv thinks the evening sleep is enough though. Doesn't help you but at least you don't have to add worry to the mix.

It could be separation anxiety or a bad association with the crib (but then she'd be bad at night sleep, right?)

Babies can easily get overtired without any underlying reason. This site has helped me a lot (though I don't follow their advice that much!) www.babysleepsite.com/tag/overtired-baby-symptoms/

My baby will only go to sleep after aaaaaages of rocking her or nursing her or walking her. If I just leave her to play and let her go to sleep when she's tired, she just powers on through. Then she's an exhausted mess and can't fall asleep for hours.