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Original poster

IF MN can solve this one I won't have to kill him......DS1 is still waking me up in the morning...

29 replies

LadyTophamHatt · 22/03/2007 07:25

And he'll be 8 next month.

Honest to god I could have killing him this morning.

"Mum, I'm really tired...What can I do?? I don't want to get dressed yet"

This was at about 6am.

I told him I don't care what he's does just DON'T WAKE ME UP.

He then came back in 10 minutes later to ask if he can let the dog out because she needs a wee and what milk should he use because we've run out of full fat.

I said " FFS (yes i really did say that too) let her out then and use the milk we have got"

I've tried verything to stop him waking me up... bribes, promises, punishment, threats of death and it will work for a few days then he'll start again.

IT IS DRIVING ME MAD, he's almost 8 FGS, 3 yr old DS3doesn't do it so what does DS1.

If anyone can solve this I will pay you several zillion pounds....

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DANCESwithaTruckLoadOfMiniEggs · 22/03/2007 07:28

Blardy hell No solutions here but if there are any solutions that will stop a 2yr old singing 'ginkle ginkle little star' at the top of his voice at 5.50am I'd also be grateful....

kittywaitsfornumber6 · 22/03/2007 07:36

Could you put a lock on the inside of your bedroom door? I've got one on mine so that they can't get in when I really don't want them to?
You could also try ear plugs as well so you don't him him either. Good luck.

Original poster
LadyTophamHatt · 22/03/2007 07:43

On the rare occasion Ds3 needs me in the morning he'd stand out side the dorr kicking it, so a lock would be a nightmare.

I'd be nervous using it too....

Our door is closed so I think that should be enough for DS1 to know he can't come in.

Being told notto come in should be enough......

OP posts:
Miaou · 22/03/2007 07:44

argh!!! Ds wakes me at 6am but I can forgive him as he is only 19m!

I would sit him down before bedtime tonight for a serious chat, preferably when the others are in bed (or when you can get some one-to-one time with him), and explain to him just WHY this is not on. That if you are asleep, it's because you are very tired, and you really need your sleep. That when he is asleep, you don't wake him up to ask him where he left his football kit, or if he finished his homework, or if he has moved your book because you can't find it - because that would be unfair because he needs his sleep too.

Then tell him that there are only certain times when he is allowed to wake you up (personally I would go for something on fire or serious bleeding but you may want to add more). Then make it clear what he can do without coming and checking with you - eg letting the dog out, using whatever milk there is. OR, set an embargo on getting up - he has to stay in his bed and read until he hears you or dh getting up.

THEN - if he does come and wake you up - (and warn him this will happen beforehand) - ignore him. Don't answer his questions. If you need to say anything at all, say "go away. I am sleeping". Don't give him the attention and he will soon get the message.

Hope this helps!!

Original poster
LadyTophamHatt · 22/03/2007 07:51

we'll do that tonight Miaou.....again
God, I feel like screaming!!!

I've done "the chat" countless times, I've almost been in tears on sevaral occaisions because it really does drive me insane. He'll do it for a week max and the it starts again.

OP posts:
katierocket · 22/03/2007 07:54

my DS1 (5) has always got up early - anywhere between 5 and 6. We've tried everything to change it - bugger all has worked

dejags · 22/03/2007 07:57

Just a few other obvious things - does he have blackout blinds? Are there any environmental things waking him - boiler/birds/other siblings/DH?

If he is just an early riser i.e. none of the above - I'd start by letting him a choose a DVD to watch early morning before bed - you can put it into the DVD player ready for him. I'd make a deal that he can watch the DVD for 30mins/45mins (depends on when you get up) in return for NOT waking you up.

If he wakes you, then there is no DVD and he is to get ready for school and help out with morning chores.

If it were me, I know what I'd choose.

good luck.

PS: Did you ever receive the card I sent for DS4?

Miaou · 22/03/2007 07:57

oh sorry LTH - didn't mean to be teaching granny how to suck eggs . How about try ignoring him in the morning though rather than answering him (or just tell him to go away) - at the moment he is getting answers to what he is asking and therefore if he is prepared to put up with the flak then perhaps it is worth it to him.

JodieG1 · 22/03/2007 08:00

My ds1 is 3.5 and wakes between 5 and 6am every morning, what makes it worse is that dd would sleep longer and even ds2 (10 weeks today) sleeps at that time in the morning. So I'm up with ds2 at 2am, 4am and then ds1 wakes me up and hour or 2 later . I'm praying something changes soon before I become too sleep deprived to function. Ds2 also likes to stay up until 11pm most nights now. He was going to sleep at 8pm and sleeping a few hours but that's all gone out the window.

dejags · 22/03/2007 08:02

You could take it one further an leave him a blanket and snack in easy reach and as an incentive, that if he manages all five days in a school week then he can have a small treat on the weekend?

Miaou · 22/03/2007 08:29

oooh dejags, you are too nice - can you tell from my suggestions that I'm not at my best in the mornings

Tortington · 22/03/2007 08:31

tell him when he wakes up to go downstairs and put the tv on.

tell him if you manage to sleep until 7.30am every day he gets 50p on friday.

Tortington · 22/03/2007 08:32

or with the tell him to go downstairs when he wakes up thing

buy him a dvd - that he can only watch before 8 am.

any DVD he wants - spend the money - but dont allow it to be played in an evening - if he really wants to watch it must be in the morning.

kittywaitsfornumber6 · 22/03/2007 08:54

Is he joined up to club penguin? He could go on that. I can't imagine any 8 year old boy wanting to do anything else really. Mine are addicted.

colditz · 22/03/2007 08:58

At the start of the week give him £3.50 pocket money.
For every day he wakes you up, deduct 50p.

he might wake you up every day for a week, but he won't do it the next week when he has seen that money get spent on something for you that you won't share, like chocs. and make sure he knows it is his money you are spending.

CODalmighty · 22/03/2007 08:59

shout louder

Original poster
LadyTophamHatt · 22/03/2007 09:11

The routine they have in the morning is this:

Get dressed as soon as they are up (clothes are left out for them)
Go down stairs and have breakfast and milk
Make bed.
clean teeth.

Then they can watch telly.

They know that if they can hear us awake they can come in to our room.

Ds2 follows it perfectly, to the letter.

Ds1 does it with me nagging him and chops and changes it all around.

They get pocket money for doing what jobs they are asked to do. Ds2 has earned £16 in about a month, Ds1 has and a fiver....

I think you get the picture.

Dh told me the other day to "stop picking on Ds1"....I felt like punching him bacuse it's not him who has to nag about everyting, or be woken up at the crack of dawn to be asked stupid questions.

I know I get at him alot but he just wouldn't do anything if I didn't.

OP posts:
Original poster
LadyTophamHatt · 22/03/2007 09:14

(dejags, oh no....postie hasn't bought a card from sunny SA )

OP posts:
dejags · 22/03/2007 09:16

oh poo LTH! I sent it ages and ages ago. Damn SA postal system - it had a tiny teddy in the envelope as a keepsake, I was worried when I posted it that it might draw attention to the envelope.

drawbacks of living in africa.

I'll get another this weekend.

dejags · 22/03/2007 09:18

Perhaps if you allow DS to go downstairs to watch telly on his own (as a big boy thing) and then to start with his normal chores when the rest of you wake up you may have some success.

I think the key is for him to understand that this is a treat and that if he wakes you, he will revert to his normal routine + extra chores. IMO he is old enough to understand and respect boundaries?

bozza · 22/03/2007 09:22

I think you have to be really non-negotiable with him. Is he getting enough sleep and so OK to get up at this time (my 6yo would be exhausted permanently if he got up at 6). Personally I would insist that he stays in his room until 7 - but I am harsh and you already have a system that is working well with DS2. Have you tried a light on a timer - he is not allowed to get up/come to you/whatever until the light comes on? Although I feel he is maybe a bit old for this - I used it on my children when they were 2 and first went in a bed. Miaou's idea of a list of reasons to wake you up all of which are pretty dire sounds good. And also going through what to do in other circumstances.

mckenzie · 22/03/2007 09:24

Ds (5) is very similar LTH so you have my sympathy.
He is keeping to the rules at the moment in exchange for a Muller Corner yoghurt at tea time. He has to stay in his room (other than using the toilet) until 7am. Trouble is, at 7am he then comes onto the landing and shouts "it's 7am, time to get up" and then he wakes DD up.
So now I think i'm going to have to change the time to 7.30 but when he has probably woken at 6.30 that seems quite a long time to expect him to stay in his room on his own. or does it?
He can't go downstairs as we have a house alarm and we dont really want him being able to use the keypad just yet. ("why is that?" I'm asking myself. And I don't think I know the answer).

But back to your predicament LTH, do you actually have the little chat with him every night? We now leave DS a note by his bedroom door reminding him to be quiet and not to leave his room until 7am. I change the note every few days so he doesn't get bored with it and ignore it. On the odd occasion where the same note is still there maybe after 5 days I have noticed that he 'forgets' the rules.

Dottydot · 22/03/2007 09:27

I'd be going bonkers! Has he got a clock in his bedroom? Ds1 is 5 and he knows come hell or high water he can't disturb us before the first number is a 7! If he wakes up before then he can put his light on, or even go downstairs and watch telly (a new arrangement...), but he doesn't come in our room until it's a 7. We're really firm about this and there's no negotiation.

I think you need to be really, really firm. Does he get pocket money? Start taking it away if he disturbs you - set an agreed time at which he can come in and stick to it. Rewards obviously if he does well - if you don't give him pocket money maybe you could give him 10 20p for every day he does well and he can spend it on whatever at the weekend?

I think you've just got to be really consistent and not waver at all on this one. Easier said than done though, I know...

Original poster
LadyTophamHatt · 22/03/2007 15:49

Right, I've told him again how tired I am because he woke me up.

I'm going to put a note on his door and on our door tonight.

We'll see how long it is before i'm back to report he's woke me up again.....

OP posts:
Dottydot · 22/03/2007 15:56

I know I'm going to sound bossy, but an 8 year old won't care about how tired you feel - certainly my 5 year old doesn't! It's no good telling them how they affect you, you have to tell them how it's going to affect them...!

Have you issued some kind of reward/punishment edict?