how do i get my dd to sleep in her own bed ?

[traceyn]

My dd is 2 1/2 and since she was a baby has always fell asleep in my bed.

We go upstairs at 7 o'clock, read bedtime stories and sing songs until she nods off (normally takes about an hour).

I then gingerly carry her into her own bed room, to her own bed.

I know this is my own doing, but know I have a 5mth old daughter, I would really like her to go to sleep in her own bed.

Had similar experience. I'm afraid we ended up with a gate on bedroom door in the end, along with bedside light, cd player with nice songs/stories, bedroom door open with light on landing and lots of reassurance. There were lots of tantrums and cheeky tricks like telling us she wanted potty - just procrastinating though. Will be hard for about a week if you do it and you will find her asleep on the floor by the gate but it will work when she realises you won't give in. It might make you cry but you have to firm if you want to nip it in the bud.

i have left her to cry before, but she got so worked up she started hyperventerlating and coughing, so my partner went and got her and took her downstairs making me feel guilty.

He's not the one laying upstairs for an hour every night !

It is hard isn't it. Believe me, we tried the gentle approach but it was just making the situation worse as dd would just use every opportunity to go back downstairs (our problem wasn't coming in our bed, just not wanting to go to bed). Either myself or dh read her a couple of bedtime stories, then put a cd of her choice on and she has bedside light on and door open. We too have new baby now and we also tell her baby is going to bed as well.
The gate has gone now but we did need it for a good while. We have a policy that we will go up to her once if she is shouting/upset, but no more (unless she is genuinely scared or hurt of course)and reassure her that we are only downstairs and not far away. But I had to go through about a week of hell to begin with. It was upsetting all round and I have a photo of her lying on the floor asleep by the gate as she just wore herself out with a tantrum. But I believe you need to stand firm as they are clever little toddlers and know your weaknesses! I have watched Dr Tanya on tiny tearaways on tv and she says tantrums are just pure rage as toddlers cannot express their anger any other way, but they do need to learn that this approach won't work. This is what I had to keep remembering when dd went off on one.
Sorry for rambling. My bedtime tantrums are over now, but I get them for other reasons now...
Good luck

cant you just do the same routine but in her bed?