2 years old and still a rubbish sleeper

[tuffgingernut]

I need help. DD has recently turned 2 and she still isn't a good sleeper. I work full time and I am truly exhausted. Almost every day starts at 445. She goes to Nursery and will nap there for 1-2 hours. When she gets home she's totally exhausted, we manage to keep her awake until 7.30pm though. She settles well initially but will wake at least twice in the night. I resettle her each time as DH goes to work at 4am. Without fail she'll be wake by 4.45 (4.30 today)despite my best efforts she doesn't go back to sleep. I can see she's exhausted though, she's really grumpy, as am I! Any tips? She's our 3rd and the others weren't like this.

Why are you keeping her awake until 7.30pm?

When mine were toddlers, they needed a run of early bedtimes. It helped them get out of the cycle of being overtired. Being overtired meant they woke too early.

Late bedtime never made them wake later sadly!

Also we made sure they were warm enough. Especially if the heating isn't on overnight. So I'd slip an extra blanket over them when we went to bed if the forecast looked cold (they'd be too hot at bedtime if I did it at the start).

Final thing was the bloody birds making a racket. We'd have white noise on all night to shield noises

Oh and black out blinds!

We also set up comfortable beds in their room so when they woke at night, we could sleep in with them. We got much better sleep than when we returned to our own room. As a result they didn't get used to coming in to our bed but had the comfort of us. Now, aged 5&7, they only call us through if they're ill or have had a bad dream.

Also just seen your DH goes to work at 4am. Is your dd s light sleeper? Could he be waking her up? E.g. The sound of water running/an alarm/him moving about?

I agree that IME an earlier bedtime may mean she wakes later (despite this making no logical sense).

I agree with the earlier bedtime. The answer to a lot of sleep issues is often an earlier bedtime, however counterintuitive. More sleep breeds more sleep, and you certainly have little to lose by trying it. She does sound chronically overtired. What time does she start to appear sleepy or cranky at? If you are keeping her up so that you get to see her yourself after work, then I'd sacrifice that for a little while, however tough or disruptive to family life it may be. Your priority would be firstly longer sleep and a better-rested child. Once you have this, then start tinkering with moving the whole routine gradually back to half seven or whenever suits. For now, I'd suggest you put her down consistently for a week or so as soon as she gets tired, even if that seems crazily early to you.

What time does the nursery nap end at? Ideally what time would she be waking at in the morning?

How often is she waking overnight? What happens when she wakes? How do you get her to fall asleep firstly when going to bed, and then when she resettles?

Is there any link to your husband's early departure? Can you try a few nights where he sleeps maybe on the sofa and just tiptoes out the front door when he wakes, in case some of his morning routine is rousing her?

I also think it highly unfair that you are doing all the re-settling - sure he works earlier than you but you all have a problem so you need to share the impact of it.

I'll try putting her to bed earlier tonight. 7.30 bedtime means I get an hour with her in the evening but like you've suggested it might be worth the sacrifice for a while. Don't think it's DH going to work that wakes her. He's really quiet, I don't even hear him plus he'd been gone for 30 mins before she woke today. The nursery nap is usually around midday, it's a struggle for her to stay awake until then. When I'm home at the weekend she'll happily have her nap at 10ish.

She settles herself to sleep initially, sometimes when she wakes in the night she needs a little help. I just say to her night, night time and rest a hand on her back or tummy. It doesn't take long for her to drift off.

I do all the night time resettling because I'm a light sleeper so hear her any way. DH will sleep though her plus he works about 60 hours a week in a very demanding job. When he has a day off he always gets up with her at 445 or whenever she wakes so I can catch up a little then.

She has blackout blinds. Extra blankets for when it's cold.

Thanks for the tips. I'll definitely try an earlier bedtime. Need to solve this as i'm really struggling and feeling a little resentful. Which i'm not proud to admit.

Hey, just saw this on 'my threads' and I wondered if you are seeing any signs of success yet? Fingers crossed for you.

Yes we have! Started putting her to bed at 7. Also nursery are encouraging her to sleep longer by letting her sleep in a quieter area. This means she's getting an extra couple of hours a day. She's less grumpy and as we're now getting up around an hour later (it's been 5.30 for the past few days) so am I! Thanks for asking.