Running out of ideas!

[UnbelievablyChocolatey]

DS is almost a year old and is a nightmare sleeper. We had about 3 weeks of him inconsistently sleeping through but now has gone back to not sleeping again.

His routine is bath, pjs, BF then into cot. He usually cries for around an hour whilst DH and I take turns going in his room to reassure him. And then around midnight he wakes up, and some nights takes nearly two hours to go back to sleep. Sometimes if we put him back in the cot he screams the house down so we have been sleeping on the spare bed with him (bad move I know)

What are we doing wrong?

What's his daytime sleep like?

And when he goes on the cot at bedtime, what are you doing with him between then and him going to sleep?

He currently has about an hour and half around 10am, doesn't have an afternoon nap unless I'm out somewhere and he may drop off for a bit while I'm driving

He sometimes falls asleep feeding but usually not, so I put him in the cot and just try to shush him and reassure him. The problem is the minute he goes in he starts having a paddy and the only way I can calm him down is to pick him up

What time does he go to bed?

10am is quite early for his only sleep of the day. He could be over tired by bedtime. Could you slowly move that sleep towards the middle of the day, maybe half an hour at a time, so he sleeps e.g. 12-2pm?

He's normally asleep by about 8pm ish

I thought that myself nuffsaid but won't he be hungry missing his dinnertime?

He's currently stood up in his cot throwing all his teddies out and showing no signs of sleeping soon

What time is dinner time?

Definitely not an expert (see my own sleep problem thread! )but I thought that under one is quite early to drop to one nap? And it seems a loooong time between that and bedtime.

But if he has dropped to one nap...I recall that in the early days of just one nap, DD1 used to have a ridiculously early lunch - 11.15/11.30 - and then go down for her nap. She'd then have 2-3 hours. And need a good snack after lunch to keep her going till dinner.

He normally has his dinner around 12.30

I must add the afternoon nap has only recently been dropped, because he was having an hour at 3.30 and then wasn't wanting to go to bed until nearly 9pm

So is this your routine?

10-11:30 Nap

12:30 Lunch

7:00 Bedtime routine

8:00 Sleep

I'd say your nap is too early or he needs a second one about 2:30 and bedtime is too late. Aim to be asleep by 7:00? What time is he waking in the morning?

I must add the afternoon nap has only recently been dropped, because he was having an hour at 3.30 and then wasn't wanting to go to bed until nearly 9pm

Over tiredness is likely to be the problem. More daytime sleep is needed, not less. Especially so since he is having broken nights sleep.

I would suggest you make the morning nap earlier and set a wake-up time to limit it. Then reintroduce an afternoon nap (for now), but make it earlier.

For example:

9.30am nap - Wake up at 10.30am.
1pm nap - leave to wake up, but hope for 3pm

When you feel he is ready for one nap (and that might be many months yet, esoecislly if not sleeping through at night), make the morning nap later, gradually.

I'd also start in-cot reassurance and settling. That might mean really bending down and leaning into the cot for long periods of time (initially) until he is asleep.

Yes teaandbiscuits that's pretty much it

Is there a way I could introduce a nap routine? Like he knows it's bedtime when he has his bath and milk, how can I make a routine for the day naps?

Give him his lunch earlier, around 11:30am. Then change his nappy. Take him into his bedroom. Either read him a story or sit with him with the curtains closed and cuddle him/rock for a bit or BF (but not to sleep) and then put him in his cot.

Also, tell him what's going to happen as you go along i.e. 'we're going to have lunch and then it's nap time', 'I'm going to change your nappy and then we're going upstairs for a nap', 'we'll have this story and then you're going to have a sleep', 'you're going to have a sleep now and then we're going to go to the park' etc. He's not going to understand what that means yet, but at some point it will click and it will be helpful going forward!

Thanks for the suggestions everyone!

So I tried a new routine with DS yesterday and so far so good. He slept quite well through the night. Woke up once around 3am but after about 20 mins was back asleep which I can cope with!

I have another question. Up until now he's been fed to sleep more or less, but I'm wanting to try and let DH get him to sleep. So if we were to give him a cup of milk or something alone those lines, how would I introduce this? Would I be better off warming it up, giving it cold, how much should I give him etc?

I wouldn't bother messing about with a cup of milk tbh. Let DH settle him without milk and you can break the association between milk and sleep. Dh can cuddle him/rock him/soothe him in other ways. He'll probably be fine with it because he has never associated DH with being fed to sleep.

DS2 is 18 months. I feed him to sleep if I'm there, if I'm out DP doesn't bother with milk, just sits on the bed with him, reads him a story then shushes him till he's asleep.
He only has one daytime sleep, normally 11/12 till 1/2. Not ideal for lunch but he has it when he wakes.

Ok thankyou! I'm out at the cinema Wednesday so I shall try letting DH get him to sleep

I paid for a sleep trainer a few months back and her advice with naps was 10am morning one and 2pm afternoon one. She advised doing the same routine we do at bedtime (minus the BF) into sleep sack, read the same book we read every night and into cot. She went from having to be carried to sleep (whilst screaming) to going to sleep within about 10 mins by herself . We did the in/out every 2 mins at night and she never cried for more than 15/20 mins. May be worth adding nap routine? Saying this, we're 3 months later and she rarely sleeps more than 30 mins in the day without intervention and she's up at 5am - ugh!!