18 month old will not fall asleep on his own.

[Racheyg]

ds2 has always been a bad sleeper and most night ends up in our bed (we dont mind this at least we all sleep. Our issue getting him to sleep, he refuses to fall alseep on his own and my and oh have to either lay down with him or hold his hand even still this could take over an hour.

He shares a room with his older brother so crying it out is not an option. he seems to hate his cot, would taking the sides off work?

I think i was spoilt with ds1 as he slept so well. Any advice would be greatly received x

He's still a baby. I think it's perfectly normal . But then I love cuddling my babies to sleep - if the 5yo has fallen asleep before I get to her, I give her a quick cuddle anyway
Sounds like your issue is more how long it takes? Would a quick cuddle, then pottering about nearby be accepted?

yes nappies it is the length of time. tonight it took oh 1 hr 40 mins. we dont mind the fact he likes us to lay with him but it the length of time we have to do it for. its just getting too much.

He naps for about 1-2 hrs from about 12.00

Could you try shortening the nap, a later bedtime, or just mix up the evening routine?
Both my older 2 had a phase of messing around at bedtime not sleeping. We tried the firm route with dd1 - keeping her in her room (in with her!) Not engaging etc. Didn't work and everyone just got cross.
With dd2 when she had the same phase, we just stopped having a fixed bedtime for a bit, and instead waited for tired cues. She started asking to go to bed (although frequently it was 10pm by then!) and even now falls asleep pretty instantly, while dd1 still fights it.

I wouldn't take the sides off, he is too little for that.
I think you won't be able to get him to sleep on his own without tears. Personally, I'd go for gradual withdrawal. There is an old thread about this entitled What worked for us. Search for it, it gives a detailed description of how gradual withdrawal works. But you will still have crying and protesting, even though you are in the same room.
I would definitely do it though, he must be exhausted in the evening with such a short nap, but it's still taking him ages to go to sleep, so the hand holding etc. obviously isn't helping.

Thanks crumpets. I think we are just going to go with the gradual leave him. I'm dreading it