Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

Flip

Original poster

My 10 month old can't sleep longer than 45 mins

24 replies

Coffeelover56 · 19/12/2016 20:56

I read quite a lot of threads where people say their little ones wake every 2-3 hours on a night and they are exhausted. I'd absolutely love for my DS to wake every 2-3 hours. He wakes every 45 minutes and so on average he wakes about 10 times a night. When will it end? Is that normal? It's starting to affect my mental health. Does anyone have positive stories to cheer me up?

OP posts:

confusedlilly · 19/12/2016 21:02

No advice.. we have 9 month old ds who is a shocking sleeper! According to the health visitor we do everything right but the kid still doesn't sleep I feel your pain!

chocfireguard · 19/12/2016 21:04

What do you do when your baby wakes up?

SenoritaViva · 19/12/2016 21:05

Not normal. As above, what do you do?

TooMinty · 19/12/2016 21:10

How does he get to sleep in the first place? Sounds like he can't transition between sleep cycles because he doesn't know how to self settle - does that sound right? My DS1 did this, I fed him to sleep but he couldn't stay asleep...

NannyR · 19/12/2016 21:11

They have sleep cycles where they will sleep very deeply for 35-40 minutes, then naturally come into a period of lighter sleep for a short time before going back into deep sleep. Sometimes they wake up in the light sleep period, but they are very difficult to settle or comfort as they are not ready to wake up properly (if that makes sense).

They need to learn to self settle when they come into the lighter sleep, as adults and older children do - everyone wakes up several times a night but we just roll over and go back to sleep and have no memory of it. Unfortunately, some babies find it a lot easier than others to settle themselves.
I've only experienced this in younger babies I've looked after - I tried to give them a few minutes, rather than going straight in as soon as they cried, patting their back, minimal talking and sometimes just sitting silently in the room so they knew I was there. With a good routine and consistent approach to dealing with waking they grow out of it in a few months.

Original poster

Coffeelover56 · 19/12/2016 21:14

I rock him to sleep at bedtime, and he goes down pretty easily. When he wakes he gets rocked to sleep until 10pm when I bring him into bed with me and he breastfeeds upon every waking. It's the easiest way to get him back to sleep and I'm too tired for a battle! I go back to work in a few weeks though and I don't know how I'll cope.

OP posts:

Namejustfornappies · 19/12/2016 21:17

Ah. You have my utter sympathy.
Dd1 did that.
Every fucking 45 minutes whether during a nap or at night. Oh my goodness it was hell. No reserves, and i regularly hallucinated from lack of sleep.

Um, when did it stop... Hmm. About 9 months I started getting one longer stretch at the beginning of the night. Then by 1yr I would get 3x2 hour stretches before it went to constant waking the rest of the night.
I night weaned her at 2.5 and it made fuck all difference.
She then suddenly started sleeping through some nights at 3yo, and now at 5yo she rarely wakes.
She does get insomnia though and finds it very hard to get to sleep some nights despite good sleep hygiene and rigid bedtime routine. Still awake 10pm often just lying in her darkened bedroom.
With her it's an overstimulation thing. Starting school was a bugger as it reverted to lots of wake ups and difficulty going to sleep.

Good luck

TooMinty · 19/12/2016 21:18

For me the key was putting him down awake to fall asleep by himself - with a comfort blanket to cuddle/suck. Can you just do your night time routine as normal but don't rock to sleep, just put him down?

Namejustfornappies · 19/12/2016 21:18

Incidentally having coped with one child waking every 45 minutes, having 2 subsequent Children who only wake every 2 hours seems wonderful and easy!

NannyR · 19/12/2016 21:21

I would try to find ways of getting him to sleep on his own. By all means rock him and breastfeed him but put him in his cot whilst he is still awake. At the moment he needs you to help him get to sleep, he can't /has never had to do it on his own. So when he naturally, briefly wakes several times a night he needs you to provide his sleep cues - rocking, feeding etc to get him back to sleep, whereas if he was able to settle himself to sleep he would probably wake up, move around a bit, maybe cry a little then roll over and go back to sleep.

Twozealotmorethan1 · 19/12/2016 21:23

My 7.5 mth old is a very frequent night waker. He's been like this since the so-called 4mth sleep regression. He wakes once after his bedtime and before I go up and then more or less hourly after 11pm/midnight through til the morning when around 6/7am he'd happily sleep a longer stretch if he can (I have an early rising 4 year old too...).
I'm so so tired. OH too. For the past few weeks the only way I get rest and a little bit of sleep is if I bed share with the baby and OH goes in the spare room.
Baby is EBF and will only feed to sleep for me...
The lack of sleep is killing me and affects my mood a lot, and I dread going to bed at night.
Our next step is to try a formula dream feed to try to fill him up for longer and will be moving him to his own room ASAP after Christmas.

Crumbs1 · 19/12/2016 21:32

He is old enough for sleep training now. You are rewarding his waking with feeding when he doesn't need feeding overnight now. He's not hungry he is just not learning the key message that nighttime is for sleep. Speak to you health visitor for a programme and support. Perfectly possible to transform sleep patterns in a matter of days if you are determined.

TooMinty · 19/12/2016 21:37

Twoze - I tried the formula top up with DS1 and it made no difference because he wasn't hungry, he was comfort suckling at the breast to get to sleep and then needing it every time he woke up. I night weaned him at about 7.5 months once he had learned to self settle and he started sleeping through.

carabos · 19/12/2016 21:37

DS2 slept for 45 mins at a time. It was hell. With hindsight I think it was because we co-slept and he was bf for 27 months. He slept through when weaned from the breast and in his own bed.

What's your sleeping and feeding arrangement? Mine was a bottle refuser so I was stuck with the breastfeeding for ever ages.

carabos · 19/12/2016 21:38

Sorry, I see your answer above.

Anatidae · 19/12/2016 21:46

Ours was like this... still is to an extent. We tried everything- even cc :( which failed...

What has worked a bit is this: put him to sleep as you usually do. Tell him through the day that when he wakes tonight he's going to get daddy. Dad does first wake ups until whatever time - we didn't attempt the whole night first, so I'd put him to bed and his dad would do any wake up before 10. He will be very pissed off and he will cry, but if his dad is there with water he has both fluids and someone with him so he IS ok.
This helped us quite a lot. Ds is very clingy so things where we left him alone make it worse. We now get 2-3 hours at the start of the night and we are working on extending it. It's slow going!

Be prepared for a few hellish evenings. The idea is to pick an interval you know they can go without boob and then comfort but no boob when they wake. There's no leaving alone to cry - if they are crying they are being cuddled as well.

Original poster

Coffeelover56 · 19/12/2016 22:00

Yeah I guess that's the problem - he can't self settle. If I leave him to it he will just cry and cry and I can't being myself to do CC.

I think I need to rope in OH more over the Xmas holidays. If I'm a bit more rested I might have more energy to tackle reducing the bfs through the night!

I don't think his cot helps - he keeps bashing his head off it when he wakes up. I'm guessing he's too young for a single bed?

OP posts:

Twozealotmorethan1 · 19/12/2016 22:02

What about a floor bed OP? Basically a cot mattress directly on the floor.

SomedayMyPrinceWillCome · 19/12/2016 22:04

I used a technique called "Wake to Sleep", saved my sanity

cookieswirls · 19/12/2016 22:09

Oh op I feel your pain! I have today posted about my 10 month twins who wake just like your baby throughout the night. Last night I had no sleep at all. I'm hoping by some miracle they sleep a bit tonight as I'm beyond exhausted l. Sorry no help but you have my sympathy

Original poster

Coffeelover56 · 19/12/2016 22:26

Oh God cookie I don't know how you can do it with twins! We are wanting to TTC soon but the thought of having DS still waking up constantly with a newborn fills me with dread! Hats off to you.

I might try the floor mattress, see if that makes any difference.

I haven't heard of wake to sleep before, just Googled it - I don't know if I can bring myself to wake him up when he's actually asleep though...

OP posts:

Anatidae · 20/12/2016 11:51

Floor bed is something we are considering. For daytime naps I have a massive playpen and I get in with him then I can sneak out when he's asleep.

Trying getting his dad to do the first couple of wake ups a night - it helped us

TooMinty · 20/12/2016 12:05

If you don't fancy CC then I'd send in daddy to comfort and make sure there is a blanket or teddy to cuddle too. At that age you could possibly night wean if he eats well during the day but if that's too much for you then at least stretch out time between feeds. Good luck

Mamaux · 03/12/2022 06:19

Please tell me there is light at the end of the tunnel? My 10 month old has been like this since day 1. He has been left to self soothe and will go back to sleep with me just shhhhhsshhh from bed but the constant wake ups are killing me. I'm on my own with no help and am beginning to crack up x

Flip