Can you teach nearly one year old to self settle?

[Tinks15]

DD is one next week, she currently still needs me to gentle pat & sssh her to her to sleep. Is the self settling thing something i can teach her? If so, how do i go about this?

God, yeah. I have only just started letting my ds self settle at nearly 11 months. Before this bmhe got way too upset.

What I do is feed him in his room (self BF). He rarely falls asleep when feeding so then I put him into his cot, turn on his Ewan the dream sheep and give him a quick pat on the bum. Then I walk away to the far side of the room and ignore him. On a good night he lies in his cot chatting away for 5-10 mins and then falls asleep. On a bad night he is up standing in the cot a million times. I ignore him til he starts crying and then I lie him down, quick pat on the bum and then back to sitting ignoring. Sometimes I do have to pay him to sleep but that is getting more unusual.

Now I've been doing this for a few weeks, I do try to leave the room and let him get on with it but initially I found it was too stimulating for him to have me go in and out. Now he's used to being n the cot by himself it's easier to try.

If far side of the room is too upsetting initially, then you can put a pillow in the floor and lie beside the cot for a bit too. Means you can poke a hand through the cot bars and give true odd pat.

Good luck. It's a slow process but I was happy to give it time. Although it makes zero difference to how long he sleeps at night!

Thanks free. Maybe i should try standing the other side of the room or laying down next to the cot, i currently have a chair next to the cot & just sit there patting & sshing until she falls sleep this is for naps & nightime. I was hoping she'd learn to self settle in the night when she wakes so i wouldnt have to keep going in to settle back down. She normally wakes as her dummy has come out.

My answer would be no. You can't "teach" a baby to self soothe.
If it's any comfort though i don't believe that how they get to sleep affects how they sleep at night much. I've always bf (or if Dad does bedtime then a bottle and dummy) for sleep and naps and always bf during the night whenever he wakes, and he's started (pretty much) sleeping through the night of his own accord at about 13/14 months.
If you're happy to help them sleep and it works then stick with it. All babies are different, some master sleep better than others.
Sarah Ockwell-Smith writes some interesting stuff, she's very pro gp and may be a little airy fairy for some but interesting all the same.
Self soothing myth