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Original poster

Husband snoring whilst I'm feeding!

30 replies

Hot2TrotNowFit2Flop · 27/07/2015 02:14

Anyone else feel incensed listening to their husband snoring whilst you're feeding your baby or is it just me?
Something takes over me and I have all on to quell violent fantasies of what if like to do to shut him the fuck up!!
I accidentally pulled his leg hairs whilst giving him a gentle leg 'nudge' tonight and he woke (momentarily) terrified. He won't remember it in the morning though.
He has so much ore sleep than me as I'm BF. I can honestly say that I feel utter contempt for him during the night, nay, HATRED.
Am I alone? Is this unreasonable. I just feel like smacking the back of his noisy fucking head.

OP posts:
skiingcat · 27/07/2015 02:17

Been there. Mine is currently not snoring tho! Does he also moan about being tired cause baby keeps him awake cause of noisy eating?

TendonQueen · 27/07/2015 02:20

You're perfectly justified in 'accidentally' jogging him with your elbow so that he doesn't fully wake but does wake enough to stop the really heavy snoring. This is a useful skill that benefits from practice. Smile

Tiptoeshoes · 27/07/2015 02:26

I am in exactly the same boat. Feeding my 5 week old right now as my husband snores next to me.

I have nudged him to roll over a couple of times but he's still snoring.

Is it wrong I'm hoping our toddler wakes up so he has to go to her?! He usually just stays and sleeps in her room at the mo and I get snore free bed to myself Smile

SueGeneris · 27/07/2015 03:34

I'm doing exactly this atm. I don't really mind apart from when I'm trying to get back to sleep though.

I do wonder if he really gets just how tiring it is having to be up in the night and having interrupted sleep for so long (baby is 7 months).

Brew for everyone in the morning!

pennylane2015 · 27/07/2015 04:01

I feel your pain. Somehow, my husband manages to wake up totally shocked when I dig him and ask him to go on his side (he snores on his back) He will say -every night- 'but why??'. Every night I reply with gritted teeth 'you are snoring'
Him- 'Snoring???' in disbelief.
As if it's the first time it's ever happened.
And it regularly wakes 6 month old.
Maybe I will just chop his nose off Grin

HelenF35 · 27/07/2015 06:19

I'm currently feeding out 3.5 week old, DP snoring like a train next to me Hmm

HelenF35 · 27/07/2015 06:19

Our not out, sleep deprivation getting to me!

madwomanbackintheattic · 27/07/2015 06:28

Finish feeding, elbow dh in kidneys, hand over baby, roll over, sleep.

With three babies, this routine worked perfectly. It generally took less time to settle them back in their own space than to feed them, but if they were fussing, dh got the pleasure of their company while I snored. And I'd done my bit.

Parenting is all about the teamwork Wink

That said, dh has recently taken up the snoring as some sort of hobby and is driving me freaking batshit. There are nights when I spend all night shoving him and hissing 'roll over!' 'Snoring!'

WottaMess · 27/07/2015 06:35

This is why I moved into the spare room for 6m with Ds...

5YearsTime · 27/07/2015 06:38

Doesn't annoy me actually. On paternity leave he tried to stay awake to help and encourage me as I was finding BF difficult. Once he was back at work I felt he needed the sleep and it was pointless him being up, but he would stay awake at weekends.

But I'm one of those arses whose baby slept through pretty quickly so I don't know if I would have rose tinted glasses on if I had been up through the night for longer.

familysizepack · 27/07/2015 06:45

Yes. 6 week old. All night snoring. Rage.

He has the cheek to complain about tiredness all the time after full nights of sleep. This is DC3, you'd think id be used to it.

madwomanbackintheattic · 27/07/2015 06:47

Oh god, I didn't wake him up when I was actually feeding - that would have meant I should have stayed awake until he had settled them! I merely handed them over stuffed to the gills, and then rolled over. His turn to parent. We shared the load. Too many women are martyrs, tbh, and assume the mantle of baby whisperer., and then moan later that their dh doesn't do any of the child care. It's much healthier for the dad to get hands on with the babies as early as possible, at all times of the day and night.
Parenting is knackering, but no one parent gets the right to opt out of anti-social hours in my house.

MrsDumbledore · 27/07/2015 06:52

Yes. Drives me mad. Did move into spare room with baby for a few weeks which we all slept better for, but mil staying with us next weekend so have just moved back to bedroom. It is amazing how much you can resent someone sleeping whilst simultaneously not want them to wake up because you want to be the only one who can moan about being tired!

Pandasandmonkeys · 27/07/2015 07:05

This infuriates me too!! With DS we shared the load, I fed and DH settled back to sleep in his crib while I slept. But DD (8mo) is a real diva and will not settle at all for DH so all night duty is mine and he snores like a freight train all night, every night. I feel no guilt at all in a swift dig in the ribs to shut him up and make him stop!!

Original poster
Hot2TrotNowFit2Flop · 27/07/2015 09:03

Morning all. Just realised I'm due on today so that doesn't help. Yeah, periods even though EBF! No justice!
Just for the record DH does do the lions share quite often and we operate well as a team. However the nature of his work and total inability to function during the night I don't bother waking him. He needs to safely function and be in good enough condition to support me during the day which I have to say he does very well.
I am with you ladies though who hear 'I'm tired' from him and feel an inner consumption of rage. I have to remember that they do not understand. How could they? If they cold, they'd be women!!

OP posts:
Violette1301 · 27/07/2015 17:21

You have put a smile on my face today, thank you.

I'm not bf and my husband rarely does night feeds because he works. The past three nights he slept in the spare room as LO has a cold and having trouble sleeping. Although he doesn't snore I still feel like smacking him one!

You are doing an amazing job!

YesICanHearYouClemFandango · 27/07/2015 22:57

Ha! Yes! Mine grinds his teeth too, the fucker. I've been quite overcome with rage on several occasions!

Haggismcbaggis · 27/07/2015 23:09

Oh God! It's 6 years since I breastfed my last baby but yes, yes, yes - it's the world's most fucking annoying experience. No female jury in the land would convict you if doing serious injury in this situation Wink. I can recall my intense rage like it was only yesterday.
(Mind you I am also incredibly sensitive to noise and have diagnosed myself - via MN of course - with misophonia).

Original poster
Hot2TrotNowFit2Flop · 28/07/2015 01:47

Haggismcbaggis I too believe I have MN. I have to eat meals at home with the TV on as I can't bear the noise of him eating. It sounds like he has microphone in his head amplifying every chew!!

OP posts:
lullaby23 · 28/07/2015 03:45

Completely feel your pain on this OP. My DH sleeps in the spare room during the week ostensibly to get a full nights sleep as he is working, but really the snoring whilst I was feeding in the early weeks also sent me into a murderous rage. I occasionally got him to help settle DS after a feed and he was useless at waking quickly to sort out the baby. Even at the weekend I'll ask him to keep an eye on the baby whilst I do stuff and he just falls straight back to sleep. Cue murderous rage again.

Even after sleeping in the spare room he sometimes complains about being tired after a good 7 or 8 hours unbroken stretch. I know arguing about who is more sleep deprived is a massive cliché but he's never winning that argument and it drives me MAD.

These days I tend to feed DS lying down and doze off so it's not so bad and I can cope at the weekend but quite enjoy having the bed to myself though I can spread out, keep water bottle, phone, tissues handy!

Racheyg · 28/07/2015 19:37

Hahaha, I'm not alone. Oh is often digged in the ribs and he wakes up looking shocked :) it's worse when he has had a drink.

X

Cadburyhome · 28/07/2015 22:15

This is ace!! Made me smile on a pretty shit day. Thank you ladies

Allthatnonsense · 28/07/2015 23:13

Same here. Loads of snoring and then complaining of a bad night with the baby. How does that even work? Is the snoring just a ploy to avoid participating in night feeds? As in "I'm so asleep right now that I am snoring so don't ask me to hold or rock baby or to get anything for you."
Actually, I definitely think that I have just rumbled the greatest man trick of all time. The bastards!

shiteforbrains · 30/07/2015 01:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Houseworkavoider · 30/07/2015 01:20

I love my dh but do remember seriously disliking him during night feeds and mornings when he would mention feeling tired!
He wouldn't know tired if it had jumped up and nutted him.
I felt like I was doing him a favour by never waking him (ebf and I did all winding, nappies and settling) he never appreciated it tbh.
If I'm honest, it almost ended us. I suffered pnd and it has taken a long time to forgive his general disregard to my wellbeing.