Need to rethink bedtime routine for 9.5 month old - advice?

[MoominaMama]

I would appreciate any advice on this .. or sharing of your routines. Bedtimes just are not working anymore and it is taking up to an hour for DS to settle after being put in his cot .. and then only with pat shushing.

I would like my DS to be asleep for 7pm and waking at 6am. I don't expect him to sleep through (he never has).

Currently naps approx 9/930am - 1030/11am and again at 130/2pm - 3/330pm.

Bedtime routine:
Last breastfeed (v small now as bites a lot due to being so animated at this time) - 545ish
Bath (very animated) - 6ish
Nappy/pjs/sleeping bag - 620ish
Stories/cuddles/dummy - 630ish
Light off/music on/in cot - 640
Asleep anytime within the next hour with pat/shush.

This has worked well for months and generally he would be asleep within 20 minutes. Ot has gone downhill in the last few weeks and this week he is now more animated in the bath and cot ... pulling up to standing/rolling over/flinging himself everywhere.

Tonight I let him roll around /fling himself everywhere in the bed from 6pm - 620. Skipped the bath, completed rest of routine but changed music for white noise and left out the dummy. In cot at 650 and he fell asleep in 5 minutes flat and the whole thing was much calmer.

So I am now wondering whether it is time to revisit the routine and if so what to change it to.

Any experiences / advice appreciated.

It might be developmental, rather than there being an issue with the routine. Is your ds in the process of learning something new - walking/crawling? My ds (now 17 m) went through similar around these times, but then went straight back into his routine after he'd mastered the new skill...

Id do bath first.

Small tea at 5pm; little play 5.30-5.50; relaxing bath (maybe with some lavender/sleepy bubbles); into bedroom, pjs on; breastfeed; up onto the shoulder or in arms for a couple of softly sung lullabyes; into bed and music/mobile on and maybe a really dim lamp/nightlight and leave.

What about doing the breastfeed after bath and then a story and into bed? That way the breastfeed may have a more soothing effect.

I do very similar to ivebeenhacked except we read stories, but my ds is 15m, think lullabies perfect for 9/10m old. I wonder if the 'patting' is stimulating him, have you tried popping him into bed, shhhhing whilst sitting just out of reach and with your back to him? It may take ages to begin with but as he gets calmer/ better at going down you can move your sitting spot a meter of two further away, (after 3/4 nights) then after a while you are just shhhing and then walking out of the door to shhhh from there for 2/3 nights then you are away! You might not be bothered about leaving him to go off to sleep on his own but at 9.5m he probably thinks it's great to have you to himself and can't work out why you don't seem to want to play?assume you are minimising / avoiding eye contact after bath?

Wow thanks for the quick replies.

I agree it could be developmental as he is recently pulling up on furniture and backwards crawling but a change in routine tonight did lead to a much calmer bedtime sl maybe not?

I used to do breastfeed after bath but changed it to before in an attempt to remove the milk - sleep association which really worked (he used to only ever feed to sleep). I have recently tried to do it after a bath again due to his tiny feeds before bath but he still won't take any/much at all and plays around and bites which hurts like hell.

It is definitely my plan to do gradual retreat!

I guess I am mainly wondering whether it is time to stop the nightly bath and this seems to have become less and less calming over the last few months. Also whether to take him going to sleep without a dummy for the first time ever as a sign that it might be time to remove this too.

Or keep everything the same and wait for this potential developmental phase to pass .. and just get through the exhausting bedtimes (but how long to give it before deciding its not a phase that will pass ... but an issue with calmness)

I hate all this second guessing yourself that comes with babies and their sleep!

Does he eat solids in the evening?

I would move everything back by an he and add evening meal

So 5.30pm breastfeed
6.30pm dinner
7pm wash hands/ face/ bottom, nappy and pjs.
7.15pm stories
7.30pm laid in bed, soothe and stroke hand where needed

I would move bath to in the day or morning as you say he gets exciting by it. Will speed up bedtime routine also