How to shorten the bedtime routine?

[Paddlechick666]

Hi All

My dd isn't a bad sleeper as such but she's not great either.

We've pretty much co-slept from the early days but over the summer she began to go in her cot till first waking.

She's just turned 1 and still starts off in her cot till 1st wake.

Anyways, I'm getting increasingly frustrated with how long it takes to get her into bed at night.

Routine is:
5:30-6pm Tea
7pm upstairs, bedtime songs, bath running
7:15-7:30ish bath
7:30-7:45 pj's, bedtime songs, stories all in her bedroom with fairy lights.
7:50ish lights out, music down or off and lie on single bed for breastfeed.
8:15-9ish dd finally snoozing and in cot, mummy tip-toeing out the door!

Any tips on how to reduce this amount of time? dd seems tired and inclined to lie down immediately out of the bath. but after getting dressed she seems jazzed up again.

i know fine well she could be asleep by 8pm but she fights it!

please no one suggest CC or pick up put down etc.

TIA

PC666

I'm no expert - dp got sick of me taking so long with ds that he took over every second night - we've now got it sorted and ds is 4! But you don't want to wait that long. What are you doing between 6 and 7?
How about:
Eat at 5.30 to 6.15. (Bath run before you eat or after you have finished and before dd finished.)
Straight into bath at 6.15. Sing songs in bath.
6.30 out of bath, pjs, songs and stories in bed.
6.50 lights out and bf.
Mum tip toe out door by 7.15 (or 7.30 at latest in time for coro (dp's deadline!)
If you're a bit soft like me and tired at the end of the day, it's really easy to just let everything drag on - I find keeping my eye on the clock really helpful.

Could you start bath at 6:15 - 6:30? Aim to finish bath after about 15 mins ( so 6:45 latest) dress straight away and short story/songs till 7 latest, then feed aiming for her to be down for 7:45 latest?

good advice ladies, thank you.

tonight was a bit special as we had lovely visitors (another mn buddie) so we skipped bath and went straight to bed at 8:20ish!

but, i intend to bring supper forward to 5pm and bath 6pm tomorrow night and see how we get on.

i'll keep you posted!

well that didn't work LOL!

supper 5:15pm,

bath 6:15pm

lights out 6:50pm after much yawning and eye rubbing.

peacefull till 7:20pm

then wide-awake until 8:30pm

then 3 attempts at getting her off before 9pm!

so in actual fact starting an hour earlier and it took 30 mins longer!

Are you set on having a bath every night? I know that once something's part of the routine, it's hard to drop it, but only having a bath a couple of times a week (mine generally only get one once a week or so) might save some time?

Paddle, try again with your earlier timings - it might take a few nights to get the new routine to work. Don't give up just yet!

we love bathtime, loathe to drop it coz it's fun and working 4 days per week means it has to be night times.

yes will deff stick with it and try to make it stick.

doesn't help that tues/weds dd goes into travel cot in our room coz my mum stays to do the childcare.

there's not been a peep for a nearly an hour now tho!

PC666 - SQ (that's smile quietly rather than lol) at your dd managing to thwart your effort so cruelly - how do they do it? But good on you, I'm sure she'll improve when she gets the idea that's what happening. Look forward to updates.

Golly, poor you
Our dd (17 months now) has always been much easier, but we've got another due in a few months who will no doubt be a terrible sleeper and wipe the smug smiles off our faces

We don't do a bath every night, but I can't believe that is the problem. We don't do bedtime songs either. I am very fussy about what books I read her - I only read her books which end with someone going to sleep, and I have a selection of about 5 or 6 of which she gets 3 a night, always ending with 'Poppy Cat likes bedtime' and read in a very very boring voice. When she's finished her milk we turn the lights off (blackout blind so no light at all) and go - we don't wait for her to go to sleep.

Trouble is, the odds are it's just luck that we've been landed with an easy one so this may be no help at all

I suppose looking at what you have said about her being tired immediately after the bath, I would be inclined to at least try just having the pre-bath stories and cutting out the post-bath ones - after all there is no law that says she has to have a story last thing at night. I would think about cutting out the songs too as it seems to me that even if they are restful sleepy songs they are still getting her brain whirring a bit more than you would like.

Blimey & my mum goes on about how long our bedtime routine takes you poor thing it sounds exhausting for you. Do you think she's not getting enough sleep? Overtiredness might make it harder for her to settle.

This is the routine we've had with DTs pretty much since they were born, they will be 3 next month & although we move it back & forth a bit e.g. for holidays, clock changes, they are pretty consistent. We get away with no bath occasionally but bathtime is daddy time

5.30/6ish tea then play (depending on how long tea took!)
6.30ish bath 10-15 mins
6.45/7 stories & milk
7pm teeth, toilet, story in bed
asleep by 7.15 until 6.45 or so

Mine have the following routine.

6 tea then play
7 up for bath
7.15 out of bath, pjs, teeth, story each
7.30 lights out

Do you need so many bedtime songs? Do you ever go out and leave the bedtime routin to someone else?

PC666 you spoil your kid dd and ds only get one book whilst already snuggled up in our bed. Forget the singing... don't want to give them nightmares . If she's sleepy after the bath why not drop the songs first and see how it goes with just a story... I know my dd gets totally hyper when singing because she likes it

Persevere with the earlier starting. I've just started that too because bedtime had slipped to 2100 and we wanted our evenings back.

DD (4.10) is now asleep by 1900 yippieh! ds (2.2) not convinced yet but we're persevering. Poor sod had first his nightly milk bottles replaced with water (which unfortunately he loves) and now we put him to bed earlier than ever and... as of tonight the water bottle will be substituted by a water beaker... so I'm steeling myself for another few sleepless nights... why do everybody else's kids seem to sleep but my lo not??? the ming boggles.

i tend to follow the no cry sleep solution but i think we go through easier and harder periods anyway.

my routine, not very fixed is.

dinner 6+-followed by some gentle play, no telly only soft music if any
bath 7-7.15
bedroom only soft light on
story
breast feed / bed

now she is 17months
and for a while i managed to get her to sleep 'off the boob' but ever since she had an extreme both of teething followed by a period of sickness its all gone tits up

i will start no boob at bedtime after christmas, because now she will wake up during the night and only go back to sleep on the breast. this was not the case a few months back

and mrsB - the only children who sleep easy are in books or are other peoples

DD has tea at 5pm, 6pm by latest, followed by books and sometimes Cbeebies! - and then upstairs for a bath at 6.30pm. Following which we read a story, do the teeth and then bed by 7pm, asleep by 7.30pm (usually!)

What times does your dd nap at during the day, do you perhaps need to tweak these a bit so that she will go to sleep a bit earlier? To be honest, dd used to take ages to fall asleep and it was similar to your situation, sometimes 8.30-ish before peace reigned! But I have found that as she has got older (she is fast approaching 2) she is totally shattered by the end of the day after all the running around etc so just conks out! Hopefully the same will happen for you as the months roll on!

thanks ladies, much appreciated.

sticking with 5pm-ish supper and 6pm-ish bath for this evening.

i will keep the songs during bathtime but will turn them and lights off immediately after pjs are on and see how that goes.

dd's naps are odd in that when with Grandma or the nanny (on my work days) she sleeps regularly and quite well. Once in the morning and again after lunch for between 1 or 2 hours.

with me, she'll prob have 30 mins or so around 10ish and an hour after lunch and another 20 - 30 mins around 4ish.

anyways, she had a really long sleep this morning and an hour after lunch. have asked Grandma not to let her sleep too long this arvo if she goes off again.

i shall keep you posted!

I would cut out that late afternoon nap right away if you want to bring bedtime earlier. My two were just going down to one nap at that age. But 3 naps at 1 seems too much.

I agree with Bozza, lose that teatime nap if you're to have any hope of getting her off around 7ish!

well, it's 8:15pm and she's down!

tonight was in the bath by 6:15pm and out dressed and dried and into the bedroom by 6:35pm rubbing her eyes.

switched music and lights off and had a good 30mins bf and calm.

then she waked herself up and started mucking about.

eventually she chilled out again and i rocked her off just before 8pm.

only went back in once, she just had a little chunter to herself and has gone back off.

so far so good!

congrats & long may it last!

well, another semi-success tonight.

bath at 6pm and she was asleep by 7pm on the boob. tried to transfer her and she woke up.

spent 20 mins soothing and lying her down in her cot, not picking her up etc. went from big tears to little tears to chuntering to big tears etc.

caved in after 25 mins and bf her again till 7:45 when she was off and back in the cot out like a light.

so it's still taking nearly 2 hours but i am getting out of her room earlier - but then i'm starting earlier too!

i will keep trying, altho we're away this weekend so not ideal!

Well done Paddlechick!
(Actually you may find if you're away it helps because it'll be more exciting so she gets more tired - fingers crossed that it'll work that way, anyway!)

My routine has always been:
5:30-dinner time,usually lasts 30 mins.
6-6:30-quiet play while I wash up their dishes.
6:30-upstairs and into bath.
6:45-out of bath,dressed,milk,then teeth brushed and into bed by 7pm.
7-7:15pm-stories then light out.
They normally drop of within 2mins of me leaving the room but occasionaly they(6,4 and 2yrs) stay awake and chatter to themselves.They are always alseep by 7:30pm though.They wake at 7pm in the morning.The 2yr old still sleeps from 12:30-2:30 in the day

jeepers creepers! it's 7:30pm and my daughter is in BED fast ASLEEP!

for the first time EVER!

i wonder how long it will last LOL!

and she has begun to go down slightly awake and not comatose on the boob!

thanks all for the advice and comments. certainly bringing everything forward and dropping the later afternoon sleep seems to have had some effect.

now, what shall i do with myself?!

what to do with yourself?
Stay on here?
enjoy a nice hot bath with glass of port and tub of ice cream?
and DONT GO UP THERE TO CHECK THAT SHE'S STILL BREATHING YOU'LL ONLY WAKE HER UP!