13 month old has a meltdown in the early hours every night

[sunflowered]

Since Christmas we've managed to move from feeding to sleep and ever so gently moving dd into the cot, to self settling in her cot. If she wakes in the evening (which is getting less and less common) I pat her back or sing a song across the room and she curls back up and nods off again. Life is already so much better as a result, but....

... we're stuck with one last major sleep hurdle. She wakes every night at about 1.30 and nothing we do will get her back into the cot. She starts off screaming hysterically and then it gets worse The only way we get any sleep is to bring her in bed with us, which isn't ideal as she spends the rest of the night headbutting me, pulling my hair, scratching, biting, etc. I'd be incredibly grateful for any suggestions as to why these meltdowns might be happening or anything we could try to help her calm down and go back to sleep.

Night terrors?

Is the cot in her own room?

Wake to sleep? Think 13 months is young for night terrors. Sounds like it might be a habit and she's getting the results she wants at the end-ie getting in your bed. Given that she's waking at the same time every night you could try wake to sleep method just before. If that doesn't work then you're probably going to have to accept some crying but refuse to put in your bed-just how you night weaned. Very hard I know :(

She's in a cot in her own room. I hadn't considered night terrors (surely my tiny pfb isn't big enough for night terrors?!), she certainly sounds pretty terrified when she wakes up.

I think waking to sleep might be worth a try, thanks for the suggestion (even if it doesn't work it can't be any worse than early mornings already are!)

Could it be molars? My 16mo was the same at that age after a brief spell of improvement from 11/12months. It was her molars and also a bit of separation anxiety (again). What I have realised is that often if I bring her into bed, she does the crazy windmill/headbutt act and then if I put her back in cot again when I get fed up, she will often go back to sleep again. In fact now it seems to be something she expects after a brief visit to our bed. So trying putting her back in the cot?

Also, calpol/ibuprofen

Wondering if a compromise of temporarily having her cot in your room for a bit would work so she doesn't come in your bed but can still see you for reassurance.

Not sure if that would cause further issues though.

I would bring the cot back into my room for a time if this was happening.

There's a bed in dd's room so I might try staying in there with her for a few nights while doing the wake to sleep - we don't have a video monitor so it would be interesting to watch for longer and see what she does when I put her down. Moving the cot is one to think about if we're still stuck in the longer term though, dh might do a few more of the wake ups that way too. I didn't fully appreciate at the time how easy it was when she was right next to us in her moses basket.

I haven't tried moving her back from our bed to her cot happy but sleepy but awake - I've tried doing it asleep which made her very angry indeed when she woke up a couple of minutes later.

Thanks for all of your ideas, it's making me feel more confident knowing that there are other things to try than launching straight into controlled crying (which the health visitor told me was the "only way" her sleep would improve )