I would like DD2 to go to bed so I can have some time to myself

[Yorkiegirl]

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snape, YG - dd is sat at her little desk behind me doig colouring (she's been ill and now thinks bedtime is totally negotiable!) ggggrrrr, really want to go for sneaky fag outsid and can't!

How old Yorkie?

I tell my dd if she is doing this that she can play in her room but must stay up there and put herself to bed when she is ready

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poor you, no advice , but hope you get some peace soon

every time she gets up just keep putting her back she will soon stay there

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How about putting a gate she can't open on the doorway of her bedroom?

is she sleeping in the day? i recently had to face the horrible truth that dd 2.10 had to have her naps curtailed or abandoned to get her to bed at night. you have my sympathy it is really frustrating. good luck

Would she listen to story tapes or CDs in bed, YG?

You poor thing, can truly sympathise. Have a 2.5 DS and on day 4 of getting him to bed, so I can have my evening back. (Just back from holiday, and on a mission!)
He has just stopped having a day time sleep and I spend all day wearing him out so that he really is tired. After bath time he has milk, read him 2 stories and then say goodnight, and put him in bed. Leave night light on and the door ajar.
First night he must have got up about 50 times, I just kept putting him back and not saying anything. He was REALLY stroppy and complained big time.
After about an hour I told him if he got up again, I'd shut the door, and then had to follow through! He screamed himself to sleep on the floor behind the door, but next morning was fine, not scarred for life and still says he loves me!
Second night, took about 10 returns and put himself to bed. Last night went straight off to sleep. In fact he slept 12 hours and I had to wake him so he wasn't late for pre-school. Fingers crossed for tonight, about to put him down.
We had a stairgate on his room until he climbed out over it. Before he learnt that trick, he would play if he wasn't tired enough to sleep and then put himself to bed, so that worked to a point too.
After 2 weeks of no routine which hasn't helped anyone, I'm determined to get him to bed. I have to be honest he's been much better behaved since, so that's a bonus.
Good Luck.

I'd try a gate on the door for a while YG if you can. Is she likely to be able to climb it or push it though?

Have you already tried star charts/rewards for good bedtime, and different punishments (removal fof a toy, etc.)?

I wondered if you did it with both DD1 and DD2 it might work. If DD2 saw DD1 getting stars on her charts, and then a reward later - would that be an incentive?

Will she saty in bed with a lamp on and some books to look at with her doll/teddy?

Im crafty.. if i think im going to get grief with my 5 year old DS then half an hour before bedtime i say 'right, sweety now you have 2 choices, you can either go to bed, or go upstairs and play for a little while but i want no complaining when i come up to tuck you in otherwise the option might not come around again' works every time

What's to 'convince'? It's bedtime and that's it. Don't negotiate anything or let her try and bargain with you. It's her bedtime and that's it. If she gets up, put her straight back without any talking or discussion. If you have to do it 20 times so be it. She'll eventually get the message that what you say goes!
Sounds tough I know, but she needs her sleep and you are the adult in this relationship. When you decide she must go, that must be it. Implement the same bedtime routine every night so that you build her up to going to bed and she's forewarned about what's going to come next. Good Luck.

All I can say is it's really worth getting a definite plan of action and sticking with it. I know what it's like to be exhausted and I know how hard it is to be pro-active when you are really tired...but it is the best way of sorting things out.

You know her best and you know what has worked (or not) in the past. You've got the 'non-negotiable bedtime' option that Jambot suggested, which may or may not work for you. You've got the whole rewards thing, with star charts leading to a pressie if she sleeps well.

When my dd was a baby and a toddler, her sleep patterns were very difficult to establish and the things that we found worked best were just being calm, consistent, loving and clear about what we expected of her. I know that sounds easy but in reality it was months of working at changing the way she responded to night-times. I know what you mean about needing your own time in the evenings because much as I love my kids passiontely, I really need 'me time' or else I get quite miserable.

Good luck!

Yorkie - my ds2 is a similar age and we've had lots of success with the stairgate on the door. Don't feel guilty about doing it - she needs the sleep as much as you need the time to yourself.