In a bit of a mess with my 10month old. Please help!

[susiebee46]

My ds has never been a good sleeper but has been getting progressively worse for about a month.

He's taking an hour to get to sleep in the evening with rocking, then wakes about 3 times in the night and will often be awake for 2 hours. When he wakes up he often has about 6oz milk.

I've nearly always fed or rocked him to sleep, there was a brief period I could put him down awake and he'd go to sleep but this stopped a couple of months ago. He nearly always ends up co sleeping and has a dummy.

I think I need to night wean, get rid of the dummy and tackle co sleeping but not sure which one to start with or do it all in one go?
I'd really appreciate advice about night weaning as well as I think this is the biggie.
I'd like to go as gently as possible but starting to feel like tears are inevitable.

I also know I need to start putting him down awake, but not sure how to do this without doing full on cc.

Hello, sounds like there are a few things to think about. I have a 10month old too who also has a dummy to go to sleep with at night (uses to go to sleep for naps too but not at any other time of the day).
I think you are correct when you say you shouldn't tackle all of the things at once.
Do you want to start with the night feed?
I have weaned my lo from the night feed only recently (and she has been poorly for the last few days so I've let her have some milk overnight as she hasn't been eating as much as normal during the day so I've prob done the wrong thing :-s).
How I did it was to reduce the volume by 1ounze every 3 days. This worked well for my dd.
I have also heard that instead of that method you could water down the milk instead until its just water you are giving.
I think if I were you I would first try to get you lo to self settle to sleep on their own. I worked hard on this with my lo. I did a very gradual process but now she can do it. I first sat and read/sang to her and she fell asleep to my voice. I would cut the story shorter and shorter over time until I was just sitting next to her and then gradually withdrew myself. At the start she would fall asleep holding my hand, listening to my voice, then holding my finger, then hand in cot, then not touching the cot etc. this might take too long for you and someone might have a miracle way that I wish I'd know about!
Personally I wouldn't get rid of the dummy at the moment as you'll be taking away her comfort, which she might need more than ever now if you are changing her routine etc. good luck!

Hi newfamily2014, can u share more bout the technique uv bn using 2 sleeep. My lo has just turned 1 & im trying 2 get him 2 sleep in his cot. For a wk iv bn sitting by his cot with story & projector/mobile 4 music, then turning everything off & just patting 2 sleep, but it doesnt seem 2 b working very well. Im happy 2 put the time in if somethings working. Not a fan of cry it out, would rather sit with him than hear him screaming.

Hello catrina82 I did read that when babies are over about 6months of age, most babies find patting to sleep too stimulating so perhaps that is what is happening with your lo? I agree, I could never bring myself to let my lo CIO.
I gave my lo her milk and because she used to have a windy tummy we always would keep her upright for about 25 mins before laying her down to sleep. In that time I'd take her into the bedroom and do the same thing each night. This involved singing the same song which I think she now associates with sleeping as I only sing it as I'm getting her ready for a nap or bed and also put on some moisturising cream as she has a bit of eczema and I would sing a little song about that. I only put on a dim light and kept my voice quiet and uninteresting! I think I started off with a long cuddle and when quite drowsy but not asleep lay her down and read to her in a hushed, very monotone boring voice! She would hold my finger whilst going to sleep.
Very gradually I shorted the length of time I read to her and instead sat next to her quietly, not talking.
I did put a lot of effort into this and touch wood, she now goes down awake and puts herself to sleep.
One thing I found with my dd is that she does not like me fussing over her at bed time. There comes a point when I am a hindrance to her getting to sleep and I feel like she just wants to be left to get to sleep. Do you think the projector might be keeping him awake? Maybe use it to wind down and then turn off? Sorry for the long waffle...prob no use to you at all!