6 week old going to bed at 1-2am - is there anything I can do?

[elushka]

Ok so 6 weeks is probably too young to influence anything, but maybe someone has experience? He's generally ok during the night - nurses every 2-3 hours but goes right back to sleep so not too bad. What's killing me right now is that I'm ready to crash by about 9 in the evening, and he fusses constantly until at least midnight, but usually 1 or 2, before finally going down. Is there anything I can do, or is it too early? Thanks!

We started a bedtime routine at 6 weeks - bath, then bottle, then bed. It really worked for us and even now ds knows exactly what's coming and what's expected (he's 1). It got him sleeping for longer stretches too, as he relaxed into the routine.

Good idea - what time did you start the routine? I read that babies are actually meant to go to sleep quite early (6:30-7), but right now I'd settle for 10 or 11!

Start at 6:30 if you want but you will probably get an episode of waking after that, just keep low lights, minimal interaction after 'bed time'. We started with our first at 10/11 then after a couple of weeks bought the whole bedtime forward to an earlier feed around 7pm. With my other two we start at 7pm (once the older ones were in bed) but it took a while for evenings to be settled.

We started with 8pm for about a month then moved to 7.30pm which we kept for ages. Then around 10 months we moved to 7pm, which seems to work for us. We chose the time depending on our life because dh commutes and gets home late, so 8pm meant he saw ds. But as naps etc have changed, we've needed to move bedtime earlier to make sure ds isn't overtired.
I read a book called 'your baby week by week' which I found really helpful for sleep schedules - it's not strict, just gives guidelines got how long your baby can stay awake for generally at what stage etc, how many naps they should be ideally having. I kept these guides in mind then fitted around how it worked best for ds.

Oh my dd did this. We struggled for a while trying in vain to get her into a routine but ime babies don't do routine! What I found was that in the morning whilst taking dd1 to school she'd drop off in the pram which meant that when we got home I'd have a few uninterrupted hours of blissful sleep on thw sofa while she slept next to me in the pram
I realise that this wouldn't work for everyone and you never know, your dd might be more accepting of a routine than mine! But if all else fails a little walk round the block in the morning will hopefully send her off into a deep sleep meaning you get to catch up on yours.

We introduced a routine when dd was 4 months and she became a great sleeper.

Thanks for your responses! I'm going to try to keep him a bit more awake this afternoon and start winding down (sleep sack, low lights) around 8 and see if that helps. I'm just desperate to have a bit of time with DH when we're not both completely worn out!

From just a few weeks old we starting bath/ bf/ crib at 7.00. Of course there's a lot of luck involved with whether babies sleep well overnight but I think that this has helped in getting dd into a routine and the bath seems to use up all her excess energy so she is shattered after her feed and has slept between 6 and 8 hours post feed at 7.30 from very early on.

I used to do the bathtime then feed at around 7/8 pm. then around one hour before I knew I wanted to head up to bed (so 10/11) I'd gently wake up, feed as much as they would take, wind, try a bit more and change nappy then put them down for the night so I knew that they wouldn't want another feed for a few hours and I'd get some quality sleep.
Once in a routine I started to give the last feed a little earlier until they slept without it. All of my dc slept through the night from roughly 10/11 weeks (ds3 was a lazy sod and I only had around 5 interrupted nights with him but that was just very lucky not anything I had control over)
Good luck

Op this was us last week & dd now 7 weeks is suddenly waking a bit more in the day & settling a bit earlier at night so it will probably start to happen of its own accord anyway.

We have yet to establish a fixed bedtime routine at a set time though as her feed times are still pretty erratic. What I want to know is if they fed at say 5.30 or 6, and you start bedtime routine at 7, how you manage to feed them again so soon. Dd is ff & wouldnt be ready so soon after the last feed & there's no way I could hold her off if she's hungry. Do I just offer a topup in order to establish that regular bedtime feed? Or do I need to wait til her feeds are occurring at a more regular time? Sorry for gatecrashing thread op!

omama my ds was ff and once I knew his bedtime routine, I would try my best to work the feeds around this, so I would try to keep at least 2 hours between the last feed and then the bedtime one, to make sure he took a full bottle at bedtime. As he got a bit older this sometimes meant pushing him for a slightly longer gap between last bottle and bedtime bottle, but you'll start to sense when this is possible and when it's asking for trouble!

So basically, once you have a set time for that bedtime bottle, it all becomes a bit easier to plan around. Otherwise, I'd give him a slightly smaller bottle before the bedtime one.

Hi all, just a quick update :) The routine seems to have worked yesterday (first relatively quiet evening in what feels like forever!) but DH thinks it was a coincidence and isn't entirely on board with keeping up the routine. So here we are once again, DS has been fussing and sleeping on and off for the past few hours and who knows when we will all finally get to sleep.

Don't know what to do - do I insist on keeping up the routine even if DH is skeptical? It does mean he gets to see DS less in the evening - I think that may be a factor too. Or maybe he's right and we have no control/influence this early??

Ah that's a tough one, if you and dh have different views. I absolutely swear by a routine and have a baby who thrives one, but I know it's not for everyone.

Could you perhaps agree to try it for a solid week at least and see how it goes?

I get that your dh wants to see the baby, but at some point he will have to start going to bed at a decent time for his own well being - he needs the sleep. We originally started with an 8pm bedtime as mentioned, this was so dh had an hour with him before bedtime. But ds was so tired by that point that it wasn't a quality hour, it was unfair really keeping him up, so after a month or so we brought it earlier.

It is hard for dh as now that ds is in bed at 7, he only sees him for 10 mins! But ds needs to sleep so it's the right thing to do.

I also think it depends on whether your dh is also up with him all night etc? If you're doing all the nights and you're with the baby all day, I personally don't think it's fair that your dh wouldn't at least give a routine a go, if it potentially means you'd be getting more rest.

That being said, I'm biased. Having a bedtime routine is the best thing we ever did IMO. And starting at 6 weeks was perfect for us.

My DS is 10 weeks and we implemented a routine last week. Bath at 6pm, then feed, then bed by 7pm. At the moment he wakes about 11pm and 4am for feeds, which is so much better than it was. We can't believe how quickly DS has adapted to the routine. We thought it would take weeks to make a difference. Elushka I would stick with a routine. I know it's tough for your dh to spend less time with DS, but in the long run you will be a happier family.

OP I agree completely with Hoggle. As your ds gets bigger keeping him up in the evenings wont be quality time for you as a family - he will likely scream for a lot of it, especially as he starts dropping naps.

Hoggle - still struggling with setting the time on our bedtime routine - tried offering less at the feed before which was at 5.30pm and she went nuts & screamed the house down til she got her full feed, so I then had to push bedtime back in order for it to work out. Am generally managing to get her down a bit earlier than before though, so thats progress I suppose!

Keep having to remind myself if she hadnt been evicted early she might only be 3 or 4 weeks old so maybe I need to give it a couple more weeks to see if she settles into more of a pattern.

Ah maybe that's part of it, she might just need a bit longer to adjust. We were fine at 6 weeks but ds was a week late so he was a beast of a boy by the time he was out!