Six year old won't sleep and getting very upset. Please help ?

[Tingatingatale]

Hi. My son is 6 next month. We have always had problems with him going to sleep. It takes him until 9pm most nights to go to sleep. He just can't seem to sleep. He has a good bedtime routine and is shattered when he goes up but just lies there. He has just told me he wishes he had never been born as he just can't sleep. If we put him down later it still takes 1.5-2 hours to fall asleep. I have just returned to work full time and going up and down the stairs all night is not good. We have tried rewards and losing things but nothing works. He just can't seem to switch off. It is stressing me and my husband out now

Any advice please?

I had that with ds1. It still takes him a long time to go to sleep, but he is getting better.

I just sit on the bed next to him and MN or read a book. He is much more settled if I am there and goes to sleep faster. I don't mind, it's a nice chill out and cuddle time for us.

Your poor DS. Have you tried audiobooks / story CDs? I sleep with my iPod every night, it really helps me to relax. At the very least it will stop him lying there brooding.

When my eldest son was 5 - he would keep coming downstairs and not going to sleep generally. Very annoying and tricky after we'd done the whole bath/teeth/story/ kiss goodnight. He basically wanted to stay up and keep the party going (as it were).

A friend at work gave me some great advice. 'Don't stress. Ignore him and don't allow him to come in the front room.It doesn't matter if he falls asleep on the landing.'

We did just that, and it worked.

The main bit of that which works is 'don't stress' as if you do - this will be translated to your son. Why don't you give him a pile of books to look at quietly while in bed, and let him have the light on in the hall or a little bedside light?

Thanks all. He has recently moved to a cabin bed so unfortunately we can't lie with him. We used to and it used to make him worse and overstimulated. I do tell him not to stress and that he just needs to chill out and not to worry about sleeping. He is just getting himself worried. He just doesn't know how to go to sleep. He has a cwtch up with us and a snack and watches something calm, then bath sometimes then he reads to my husband and then my husband reads to him in his room. Once my youngest is asleep I go in and tell him how proud I am of him and that I love him. I will go up and down then when he calls and am calm. I have a CD player in his room and he did have music and audio books and it did help. He refuses to have them now though. His room is not dark and he has a comfy duvet and his teddies

My DD is nearly 7 and usually goes to sleep sometime between 9pm and 10pm. We put her to bed at 8pm on a week night, and the rule is that she has to stay in her room unless she needs the toilet or feels really ill, but she can read or play in her room until she feels sleepy.

I know it's not ideal having a young child go to sleep so late, but I can't force her to sleep so I try to be as chilled about it as I can.