Considering co sleeping out of desperation.

[FredFlintstonesSister]

My DD is 5mo and has never been a good sleeper. For the first 6 weeks we slept in shifts so the other could stay up and let her sleep on them. Over the last few weeks she has gone back to wanting to sleep on me and cries when I put her in the crib. She sleeps in our room and is breastfed. She has never slept through the night but had been waking to feed only twice until a few weeks ago. Now she can wake every hour.

. I know this could be extended 4 month sleep regression and that she could grow out of it if I just carry on as we are. My problem is that I have started to fall asleep with her on me in bed. Our bed is not set up for bedsharing and I am terrified she will fall out/ suffocate etc. I try very hard to stay awake but I am just so tired! Should I just give in, ditch the pillows, move the bed against the wall and let DD bunk in with us? At this stage, it would probably be safer than what we are doing!

Research safe cosleeping and go for it. I think (from memory but could be wrong) that the safest place for her will be next to you and the edge of the bed away from the wall. She is getting to the age where she will be able to move away from you in her sleep if she is uncomfortable.

We side-car attached a cot to the bed so that DD had her own space, but by 10 months she was crawling in with us anyway so we got rid of it.

There is nothing nicer than waking up in the morning, seeing your child sleeping peacefully beside you. I love cosleeping and miss it now that DD wants to go in her own bed.

Don't do it out of desperation and don't be scared. She won't fall out, she won't suffer are, you don't have to set up your bed for co sleeping, just snuggle up together and enjoy.

You may find it's the easiest thing in the world, or you may find it doesn't work and you get no sleep at all. DD2 liked co-sleeping, kept still and everyone got lots of sleep. DD1 was an impossible fidget and after a cuddle quite happy to return to her own space.

Stop worrying and just try it!

Hi - you could just get a bed guard for the side of the bed, that was what we did with DD1. Worked fine and they aren't expensive. You can even get a travel version which can be extremely handy!

I have co-slept with both of mine at times. DD1 (2.4) now sleeps in her own bed and mostly sleeps through, DD2 (6 months) mostly sleeps in a sleepyhead in the bedside crib although occasionally still has nights when she needs to sleep on me and that's fine.

yes go for it!! We co-slept and it really helped. Mattress on the floor I suggest

Co sleeper here too! Second advice about getting bed guard. Also recommend Three in a Bed

We did this and it really helped with this stage (when he was 4 months). Now he's back to normal (ish!) at 5 and a half months. Loved our cuddles but now he can't stand it and cries to go back to his cot!

I did worry we'd be stuck co- sleeping forever but he grew out of it - and I miss it :-(

Sorry, just to add I set it all up properly so I had no anxieties about that. I also banished dp to the spare room on the toughest nights. He was so clingy night and day - the baby not dp haha- I despaired, but he grew out of it. Hang in there OP x

I bed share with my son. I would definitely research how to do it relatively safely, but what I always consider is:

A) baby at breast level, even if you're not bfing. He should not be up near your head;
B) he should not be near a wall, in case he falls between the mattress and bed;
C) clean taut sheet on a firm mattress, no pillows or bedding anywhere near him;
D) tie your hair back;
E) never, ever bedshare if there's a smoker or someone who's been drinking or is very tired in the bed;
F) babies move - mine rolled out a few months ago. You could consider a bed rail or sidecar cot.

In the dr sears sleep book it said you could put the bed against the wall if you filled in any gaps with rolled towels. Is this not right? I looked at mesh bed rails but they seemed to leave gaps between the bed and rail too (in fact that was a common complaint in the reviews).

Yes, that should be fine.

I'd go for it too! Much more sleep for both of you, and way better than falling asleep in un-safe positions.

Oh god yes. If it means you get more sleep do it! At 5 months she'll be pretty hardy anyway. If you don't like doing it you can come up with something else after you've caught up on sleep.

P.S. it does sound like the dread regression, so in my experience there's nothing for it but to ride it out for the next few weeks.

DD just tucked in the crook of my arm down from the pillow and vaguely under the edge of our quilt and she never moved or even faintly attempted to fall out of bed.

This is weird, since when not co sleeping she has fallen out of lots of beds, both of her own and on holiday, not bright when it's a Spanish tiled floor. At 13 I still wouldn't be surprised to find her asleep beside, not in her bed.

Do you have room to put the cot at the side of your bed, and remove one of the sides so you're next to each other? That's how we've done it. Means I can't roll etc but DS is eight next to me.

She's just about too big for the crib she's in and the cot bed in her room is huge so wouldn't fit. Tried sleeping together last night and it went quite well. Only bad thing was I had banished the duvet and so was cold! Any advice on keeping warm while bed sharing?

Wear more layers? just a suggestion...
I've just written a blog post on sleep habits around the world - the research was really interesting. In most cultures they don't even know what 'sleep training' is and in Japan co-sleep until teenagers!! They must have a huge bed!! LOL. Anyway, if you're interested in reading the research on the benefits of co-sleeping here it is -
mydaughterwontsleep.com/2014/07/30/how-chilcren-in-buenos-aires-go-to-bed-late/
Best wishes x

I used to wear a fleece onesie while co sleeping