opinions on best way to get co sleeping ds into cot.....on a time limit here...gah!

[cakebaby]

I'm back to work in a few months & won't always be home at bedtime. Ds is nearly 6 months and for the last 2 we have been unintentionally co sleeping. I absolutely love it now, but it has to stop for work & other reasons too. I'm distraught very sad to be honest, and if it wasn't for big stupid fat work ruining everything I'd carry on.

He started off in a co sleeper crib, migrating to my side after 4 months-ish. He's now too big for the co sleeper so I can't wean him from co sleeping into that. We have a cot bed for him, would it be better to put that in his room & transition him into there or put it at the side of my bed with the intention of getting him sleeping in it then moving it into his room?

I guess one is pretty much cold turkey and the other more drawn out, but I think he's going to be upset by not sleeping with me regardless of which room he's in.

Any thoughts or experiences welcome please.

Truthfully I've found stopping prevaricating works best. Just attack the bull by the horns. The more you waver the more unsettled they are no matter what it is.

Just try one. Might work!

Do you cuddle him to sleep?

I bathed, fed and put dd in cot. Sometimes I would sit on floor with hand through the bars soothing her. I always out her down drowsy not fully asleep.

Hmmm, just to admit to a further complication, I feed him to sleep (yes, I know!) Truth is, i'm happy with how things are but they have to change I guess I pick one, give it a go and then evaluate further if necessary. Thanks for replying

Watching with interest... 3 month old manages half the night in bed nest, but won't settle in it after 3/4am feed so we end up co-sleeping. I also feed him to sleep (don't judge me!).

He too is getting too big for bednest so need to start cot-bed training.

It's also hard! I need the resolve and energy to get him off on his own but at 4am I just want to sleep!

Shameless bump for mumsnet collective wisdom

I'm not sure I quite understand why you have to stop cosleeping. But obviously you do! Night shifts?

Will you still be there at bedtime? If so you could take it slowly by keeping feeding to sleep but do it in the cot with the side off and pushed up against your bed. Then when he's used to that put the side on and gradually move it away, still putting down asleep if you want.

If you need him to settle without milk then I'd start by keeping him awake during that last feed and putting down in cot but staying to reassure and stroke etc while he settles, gradually reducing the amount of help you give and moving further away.

I wouldn't feel too bad about feeding to sleep, we stopped and it made no difference at all to DD's dreadful sleep. I know it does for some but other babies are just bad sleepers whatever you do (and some good sleepers regardless, e.g. one I know fed to sleep and slept through from 4mo).

Thank you glorious very helpful ideas there. Yes, late & night shifts mean I won't be there for bedtime and/or resettling. Bah.....

I see. Sounds tough. Have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution? Lots of similar practical stuff in there. Will your DP be doing bedtime and nights? Just wondering whether it might be a case of he and DS finding their own way?

I think there's some employment law that says if bf under 1 no night shifts??? worth checking?

someone I know has managed a dual system where daddy does cot and night duty (emb, still at age 1) when mummy at work (pead consultant) and mummy cosleeps when she can. think he makes the most of mummy when he can mind !

Same here. But ours is because DH wants to come back to the marital bed! I love the little set up I have with dd2 but I also know we need to put a stop to it. Dd1 went in her own room at a few months old and never slept with us. I have definitely chilled in my old age

Anyway we are the same as mama, we start the night in crib next to me but once she wakes ( and she always does as 15 weeks ) I put her in with me as we both sleep for the remainder of the night this way.

Am posting in unison as I know I just have to make the move and prepare for a few nights of upset

Hi all, well the new cot is being built today in preparation for ds moving into it over the next few days. Going to have it next to my bed to start off with