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Original poster

Newborn twins sleeping in own room?

46 replies

Evie2014 · 15/02/2014 19:18

I'm 22 weeks pregnant with twin girls (yay!) and we're starting to look at the logistics of when they will be born.

I've been reading about SIDS risks, and it seems that the reason it's recommended for a newborn to sleep in the same room as its parents is because the presence of another person in the room helps them to regulate their breathing.

So am I right in thinking that by that logic it's okay to put them in their own room together as newborns? They'll be in the same cot (safely, according to the guidelines) so presumably will regulate each other's breathing.

I'm trying to be practical, as the thought of me and DH sharing a room with two newborn babies might be a recipe for nobody getting any sleep ever! Plus when they wake in the middle of the night one of us will have to get up and go to their room to feed them anyway (to avoid bothering the other sleepers).

We're happy to invest in monitors etc. and will probably be up most of the night in shifts anyway.

I'd be very grateful for thoughts on this. Thank you in advance.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

EvilTwins · 15/02/2014 19:20

My DTDs were in their own room very early on. Day 3 or 4 I think. There simply wasn't room for us all in one room. They were in moses baskets in separate cots. My room is across the landing from them. We used a monitor. They are 7 now. I do think that with twins, there are certain things that have to be dictated by practicality.

Congratulations! Twins are fab.

Original poster

Evie2014 · 15/02/2014 19:23

Thank you! I am beginning to realise that with twins, practicality does win out a lot of the time!

May I please ask why you had them in Moses baskets in separate cots? Is that something that's recommended for twins?

(first babies, please excuse silly questions!)

OP posts:

SimLondon · 15/02/2014 19:26

The nhs strongly advise that they sleep with you for the first 6-12 months due to the increased risk of sids, why don't you discuss this with your midwife or gp if they are happy then fine and congrats :-)

Original poster

Evie2014 · 15/02/2014 19:30

Thanks Sim. I suppose my question was based on reading the reasoning behind that NHS recommendation. Midwife really has no idea. But thanks for taking the trouble to respond!

OP posts:

crashbangboom · 15/02/2014 19:32

www.isisonline.org.uk/twins/

crashbangboom · 15/02/2014 19:33

Some more links to left hand side of that link.

Slippydippysoap · 15/02/2014 19:35

My instinct would say no. Infants struggle to regulate breathing patterns without hearing adult breathing is my understanding of the science. So if twin A is breathing wrong and twin B copies you have big problems.

Congratulations though!

AmpersandRea · 15/02/2014 19:39

Congratulations Evie! Twins are brill, tiring but brilliant!

We had our boys in a cotbed at the side of our bed for the first few months (they were very prem though, so I was keen to have them in the same room).
We had one at either end of the cot, and occasionally they would wriggle up the cot and end up with heads touching in the middle

To be honest, you're both going to be getting up in the night to feed/change them anyway, so might as well have them with you.

RedPencils · 15/02/2014 19:43

Mine slept in our room till 6 months as per guidelines although I hadn't thought about them regulating each others breathing. Interesting.

We put two cots in our room and moved our wardrobe out to accommodate them.

the thought of me and DH sharing a room with two newborn babies might be a recipe for nobody getting any sleep ever!

Feeding two newborns is a two man job at the beginning.

Original poster

Evie2014 · 15/02/2014 19:45

Thank you for that. I am really dreading the thought of us all being in the same room. I sleep lightly and cannot nap during the day - have never been able to. DH snores. I'm thinking the babies will be constantly making noises. They will probably wake up every two hours which means even if one of us gets up to feed them the other will wake anyway.

Christ. I'm terrified it's going to be absolutely awful for months!

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Nancy54 · 15/02/2014 19:58

Hi evie, don't be terrified, you'll get through it! I have 16 mo dts now and must admit I felt rather terrified too before they were born!

You won't get that much sleep but you'll amaze yourself on how little you can survive on!

I had mine in a cot bed next to our bed at first and then moved them into their own room at 4 months as I really wanted our bedroom back and was hoping they would sleep better.

I think it's nice to have them in your room at first, it's reassuring for everyone. You can always do 'shifts' with your dh, esp if you are bottle feeding, ie he's does from 8 til 2 and you sleep on sofa unless he needs you and you do from 2 til morning and he sleeps on sofa unless you need him.

Andcake · 15/02/2014 19:58

Babies breathing can be irregular so probably wouldn't regulate each others i'd think. I only have one though so don't know the details with twins. We kept an adult bed in the nursery so DP (or occasionally me) could get some sleep.also I never used to be able to nap and now I can! Also the occasional night going to bed at babies bedtime (still do it occasionally with toddler) to get the biggest block of sleep)
Good luck

Original poster

Evie2014 · 15/02/2014 20:00

So sorry for silly questions again but I don't understand the "you're going to be getting up in the middle of the night anyway" advice really. If one of us gets up to feed or change a baby in the middle of the night we will go next door to the "twins' room" where all the changing equipment, feeding chair is anyway... surely you don't gain that much by having them close in that sense?

We could put a bed into their room so one of us can sleep in there. But here's another question. DH would be fine doing a night shift for example as he is a bit of a night owl anyway. But what if he's in the next room watching TV? Or what if they are napping during the day?

Or here's yet another question. If they are in bed even in OUR room as per guidelines, what if I am sleeping in another room to get some sleep and DH isn't in bed yet as he's on the night shift? Isn't that just the same as giving them OUR bedroom to be THEIR bedroom and sleeping elsewhere ourselves?

Gosh sorry. I must now sound totally daft. I just want us to be able to enjoy our babies and for everyone to be as happy as we can be. We are more than prepared for hard work. I just don't think we will cope with two completely sleep deprived parents!

OP posts:

Original poster

Evie2014 · 15/02/2014 20:03

Just also want to say thank you everybody for being so nice- and apologies if I'm coming across as slightly frantic! holds up twin banner as excuse for massive bout of pre-baby-nerves

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RedPencils · 15/02/2014 20:08

My Two babies screaming the place down would wake the dead. There's no chance your DH will be snoozing in the ext room while your quietly feeding them.

I bf mine, I'd bring the baby into bed with me and feed. If I was lucky they'd both be awake at the same time so he would help me get them latched on, then do winding and putting them back to bed.

pukkapine · 15/02/2014 20:10

I do think a lot of this is difficult to picture and imagine before you have one newborn, let alone two...

Mum to one DS and then twins here... and DS went in his own room from 7 weeks and DT's from 6 months... reasons:

DS was huge and outgrew his moses basket at that stage and couldn't fit in our room - he was a snuffly noisy sleeper and our first so a shock to the system...

DT's tiny little prem things who could fit in a cot together at the end of our bed... it was FAR easier practically to have them there than in their own room... literally would sit up in bed, grab a baby and feed, then change on bed if needed and repeat... DH rarely woke. A bit later we'd both feed together get the feed done and dusted and both then back to sleep - I do think you need BOTH partners to be available for feeds with DT's at least some of the time.

As for the theory as to whether one twin could regulate the other's breathing and vice versa I should think the knowledge is scarce... but twins often are prem and small. I moved each of my babies when it felt right - it didn't feel right before 6-ish month with the DT's.

I think a lot needs to be left until they are here and you know how you feel about it. Having twins is good in many ways as it easily removes elements of guilt as you simply CAN'T do some of the things you would do with a singleton, so I honestly would wait till they are here and go with your instinct and what works for you as a family.

Nancy54 · 15/02/2014 20:41

Pukka speaks a lot do sense. You'll work most of it out when they arrive!

If you fb them, you'll prob find it easier to have a side car cot system or something like that because then once you've got used to latching on etc you'll just be able to pick up the dt that wakes and stick them on without having to get out of bed. That's how I survived in the first couple of months. Having said that, you may want to feed them together at night. I didn't, done people do but that's a whole other thread!!!

In terms of them sometimes being asleep in the bedroom, you asleep in spare room and dh not in bed yet, this didn't happen to us in the first few weeks as they'd sleep downstairs in carry cots in the eve til dp brought them up to me for a feed around midnight. They started having a bedtime around 6 weeks and yes at that point they were alone in the room until I went to bed (an hour or two after) but tbh I never even thought about it!

Nancy54 · 15/02/2014 20:42

Bf not fb!

RedPencils · 15/02/2014 20:44

Napping during the day - we had one cot downstairs, and one in our bedroom for the first month. I was usually in the room with them

Napping during the day - when if you get both sleeping at the same time, just get into bed. Even if you don't sleep, just resting even for a short time will make you feel better.

FrumiousBandersnatch · 15/02/2014 20:54

Whatever you decide it is worth having some flexibility built in, so that you could for example move their cot into your bedroom if necessary. A co-sleeper crib is really useful if you have had a c-section and it's difficult to get out of bed at first.

EvilTwins · 15/02/2014 21:54

We put them in Moses baskets in separate cots purely for ease- that's where they napped, so it was easy to carry the baskets upstairs to their room. So much has to be about practicality with twins - could easily carry two baskets by myself if DH was working late. I got into the habit of putting them upstairs for naps too, which worked for us. In terms of night feeding, I BF at first - had their room set up with a chair between the two cots and would feed both together. If one woke, I would wake the other too. I am a light sleeper and they were noisy sleepers from day 1 so it suited us.

pukkapine · 15/02/2014 22:10

I also did the 'wake the other' thing with mine... so if one woke for a feed I fed the other. Worked for us as it meant half the number of slightly longer wakings rather than lots of wakings but I know twin mums who completely fed on demand... horses for courses, do what suits you!

And for daytime naps we had a cot in our dining room for the first 6 months but they were seriously sleepy bubbas... and slept through anything and slept most of the day for those first 6 months. Thank goodness! They would sleep through their older brother poking pictures and presents through to them and making a racket around them with his friends... but I had health problems meaning the stairs were a problem for me so it was easier that way than putting them upstairs to begin with.

Original poster

Evie2014 · 15/02/2014 22:37

Lots of helpful advice here- thank you ladies! Still terrified but I think it's just hormones today- I am pretty calm and relaxed about the whole thing normally!

OP posts:

EvilTwins · 15/02/2014 22:47

Don't be terrified! Twins rock. Are they your first? If so, wait til you have friends who have a 12 month old singleton, and are exhausted by the fact that they can't be without company for two minutes... Twins, by that age, entertain each other.

Mine are 7 now and they are just glorious!

ceeveebee · 15/02/2014 22:52

How big is the room they will be in? Is there room for a single bed/sofa bed?
We had our DTs in our room for about 4 weeks but then put them in own room but I slept in there with them in a single bed most nights, DH did at weekends. Whoever was on duty tandem fed them with bottles of EBF at night (used bf cushions to help).

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