Getting no sleep at all: how long before I go insane?

[leelteloo]

Ds2 is a week and half old. I am on my 2nd night of no sleep at all; not a wink. The whole sleep when the baby does is impossible as I have dd4 & ds 16 months. I am starting to feel very anxious, tearful and all the usual sleep deprivation symptoms.
How long have you gone with no sleep at all? How long before I end completely loosing the plot?

Congrats on baby!

I sympathise. I'm pg with #7 and have been sleep deprived since July 2001!

the obvious answer is to nap when you can - I presume your 4 year old goes to nursery or such and the 16 month old will have a daytime nap, correct?

you need to find time to lie down, even if you don't actually fall asleep.
I don't know your daily routine but there must be something you can stop doing in order to find a bit of quiet time!

Also - are you bf? get baby checked for tongue tie.

sorry you are feeling awful, early days are very demanding.
I generally don't remember much of the first 6 months...it's a tough time.

Thanks Zing. I know I need to just get on with it and "this to will pass". I am just slightly worried about my mental health; feeling very anxious due to lack of sleep and then worrying is stopping me sleeping when I do get a chance to get my head down. He was early and he is very tiny, I am sure as he matures he will sleep better.
Makes me feel better that someone replied.

Congrats on your son! Not much useful to add, but I hope you manage to get some sleep today when he naps (does he nap?).

I've just had two sleepless nights as my son has chicken pox (he's nearly 4) and it's taken me right back to the early days - you do forget how bloody awful sleep deprivation is. Doesn't help you though. What are you up to today? Is there anyone who can hold your baby so you get some rest? Thinking of you!

It will get easier. I have 17 months between my two boys, although dont have an older one too. I was going to bed at 7 when DS1 when to bed and DH had DS2 if he was awake or asleep in moses basket downstairs, he would then bring him up when he wanted feeding. are you breastfeeding? this makes it more difficult if your feeding on demand etc. try and rest in day too although I know this is easier said than done.

Call in the troops... accept all offers of help - even if a friend can walk the baby for an hour. If bf try doing it lying down so at least you are resting. Each day take a moment, even if it is literally 5 mins to enjoy something about your day to help keep perspective. .. like gazing at your beautiful newborn :-)
Good luck. It will def get easier x

I really feel for anyone going through this, both my girls have being dreadful sleepers and I remember when dd1 was smaller I did 4 whole days/nights without sleep and I then consequently fainted, that was the turning point for me and now with dd2 I do whatever I need to to get more sleep whether this be going to bed at 7pm or co-sleeping. I don't obviously get a lot of uninterrupted sleep but thankfully enough to function. I really hope it improves for you soon x

Thanks everyone. Got an hour this morning and praying for a better night. Going to bed super early and leaving dh with him till he comes to bed so that should give me a couple.

Just to say, I'm 9 weeks in, the start was very tough, and the sleep deprivation was a killer. But th e fog is starting to clear and it really is getting better. Take one day at a time and remember that this isn't forever.

Congrats on the newbie.

Learn to feed lying down and co sleep!

Leaving him with dh in early evening sounds the right idea. The only way I survived was going to bed at 7 and leaving ds with my mum/dh until they would wake me to feed him at about 11/12. They would give Him a bottle in the interim of necessary.

Oh I so feel for you. I've been there with DS2 (although not as bad as you seem to have it) and it truly dire.

How are you feeding him? If you're bottlefeeding, there's no reason at all why DH can't do every other night, or you split the night into shifts. You do 8-2, he does 2-8 or something like that. If you're BF, then it's trickier ... and I agree you need to leave him with DP whenever you can. Handover, wax earplugs in ears, straight to bed for you :)

Is your new baby co-sleeping? Is that not advised for preemies? I'm not sure, but it could be a way forward ...

Homestart? Could they help, maybe, if you've no family around? Friends to take the older two?

It was truly dire

Get dinner ready. Eat yours 20mins before your dh gets in. When he does, go to bed and leave him with the kids, bringing the baby for feeds whenever needed and then taking baby away.

At midnight, swap, so that DH can get a good 6 hours or so.

So your bedtime 7ish - you get 5 hours then plus whatever else you manage to grab between midnight and 7ish. Should one way or another add up to 8 ish. Dh gets disturbed sleep until midnight, then a good run until 7ish.

That;s how we did it. It is temporary and about survival.

Aw hard first days. Know u don't want to confuse little un but does no harm to have formula/expressed bottle in the short term if u need a little sleep for a couple of hours. They grow up one way or another. I remember with ds1 beating myself up re lack of bf (difficult birth) and making sure with dd2 I bf and I remember before the milk coming in, watching the sun rise and feeling all alone while DH snored (my choice). When dd3 came long I made the conscious decision to mix feed. Doesn't matter what you do or how - they grow up whatever so don't deprive yourself keep for bf. an occasional bottle will not hurt,

11 days

Agree with the sleep early let dh look after baby. This is what we did and it at least made me able to function. At the weekend get dh to look after children and go to bed. Even better get someone else to come to yours, take children out for a walk and both of you go to bed and get some sleep.

It's at times like this I would call in family for help with washing/food etc. if you can't then do the bare minimum.