Going to resort to cc - what bedtime to start?

[Scitteryscattery]

DS has always breastfed to sleep but at 13mnths he is now taking longer and longer over it so he'll sometimes be lying there kicking for 2 hours. I've tried all sorts of things and am at my wits end. After an incident last week where I left him to cry for a couple of minutes to sort out DD, I found he had settled somewhat and went to sleep within a couple of minutes of me arriving back, I think controlled crying might actually be the kindest thing for us all.

So what bedtime do I start with? We try to get him to bed at 6.30 but he's been awake until 8.30 most nights this last couple of months. Do I try at 6.30 or go for his usual dropping off time when he'll be a bit more tired so hopefully the whole process will be a bit quicker or somewhere in between?

Him taking so long might be a sign he's too tired ie lover tired so earlier might be better. But why not just do what you did when you left him? Tell him good night time to sleep and see what he does? That's how I did it with dd.

Thanks creature. He was really tired tonight so fell asleep whilst having a last feed very easily tonight at 7 :) I don't think its normally over tiredness though I have tried extra early bedtimes without joy in the past.
He hasn't had much sleep today so was exhausted but keeping him tired obviously is the opposite of what I'm trying to achieve!