What do you do with toddler when trying to get baby to sleep?

[DressMe]

I have a 2 year old DS and a 9month old DD. DD takes over an hour to get to sleep for naps (if she even sleeps at all). DS doesn't have naps any more.

DH is a SAHD and I'm going back to work in a month. At the moment one has DS while the other tries to get DD to sleep.

What on earth is DH going to do when I go back to work?! It's an absolute nightmare getting her to sleep. She takes forever and screams and screams no matter what we do. When it's not sleep time she's a very lovely happy thing. She sleep pretty well at night (wakes once or twice) and is BF but won't feed to sleep. She won't sleep on us or in a push chair either.

At the moment he's resigned to driving aimlessly for an hour a day twice a day as it's the only way to get her to sleep, but I'm not sure DS will enjoy this!

How on earth are we meant to get two to bed at the same time, too - I don't get home until about 10pm. DH is almost to the point of begging me not to go back to work!

You teach the baby to self settle, and stick toddler in front of the TV.

Or, read toddler a story while feeding baby, put toddler to bed while leaving baby in bouncer or sling. Then settle baby. Probably do this at first until the first option is practical, which was when the baby was about 8 weeks IIRC in this house.

How do I teach her to self settle?

Toddler will sit in front of the TV, but not for anywhere like an hour. 15 minutes is usually his limit before he's up and looking for mischief. DH is dreading nap time - He doens't want to take DS upstairs with him but can't leave him downstairs.

DD screams for up to an hour before falling asleep. If I put DS to sleep first she'll wake him up back screaming

Eldest on bean bag with a book?

Will eldest nap still? Our youngest is 2 and def naps everyday, oldest 3 1/2 and naps most days. When he doesn't nap he reads/ looks through books in bed for an hour.

Really though youngest needs to self settle. I would pop in cot with a comforter ( ie teddy) and say its sleepy time, kiss and head out room. If that leads to crying return but try not too pick up, just reasure from next to cot with voice/ gentle patting. Gradually move further away each day

DS definitely won't nap. When he does very occasionally fall asleep (usually in the car somewhere on a long journey) he's wide awake until 9:30pm. If he doesn't nap he goes to bed at 6:30-7pm and gets up at 7-7:30am.

Have just ordered a couple of Mr Tumble DVD's - They're most likely to get him to sit quietly for a few minutes. The plan is to try plonking him on our bed post bath with a DVD and see if he'll sit quietly.

DD will usually stay asleep after she's finally gone, so would then sleep though his story. It's so stressful!!

Could you get him used to sticker books/ megasketcher/ aqua draw?
They are the kind of things we give to our 2 when we need them quiet and occupied for a bit ie: when on important call etc
They take a while to do and the worse than can happen is they empty the water pen ( only holds about an egg cup full)

He doesn't do very well with stickers - He gets frustrated when they get stuck to his fingers! Will have a look at Aquadraw and Megasketchers though - Sounds like they could be helpful. Thank you.

We're planning on increasing the time DH spends alone with them now, to get them used to being around just him. From tomorrow he'll be doing all DD's naps and will be trying to bribe DS into quiet. Quavers work wonders but he'd be the size of a house in a week!