So, what's going to happen tonight?!

[Reiltin]

My 1mo is in no sort of routine yet - to be expected & absolutely fine. But I find it very tiring every evening not knowing what sort of night it's going to be. Some nights I'll get 7-9 hours in 2chunks; then there are nights with only 45mins sleep. It's so hard wondering "will this be the time she stays asleep?" Anyone else find this?

If you wanted to start a rough routine, you could, but obviously it isnt something all parents (or babies), want to do.

Dd was in a routine from day one and thankfully it was the right thing to do for.both of us. Her night time routone was quite rigid - bath at 6, massage and cuddles til 6.30, bottle at 6.30, then swaddled and into basket for seven.

I would wake her at 10.30/11pm for a bum cjange and a feed and then she would wake me at 3ish. The three ish feed was the first one she dropped, at around 8weeks.

If she woke before seven, I would feed her and put her back down

I've got a 2 week old and I know exactly what you mean! Seems to be no pattern yet and it's the not knowing I find tricky!!

I used to find that really tough too. I'd keep myself awake wondering if I was going to be woken up..!

I found I used a little mantra that really helped. I used to say to myself "he doesn't need me right now, he doesn't need me right now" then I coud just be in that moment and enjoy that bit of rest. If it lasted and I drifted off, great. If not, well, I got up!

I know you've heard it, but it does get easier. A wise friend told me that she said to her newborn "you bowl it, I'll bat it." I just learned to deal with each thing as it came up, rather than worrying about what may or may not happen. (However it took meds and CBT to help me get over PND before I really got the swing of this one).

Be kind to yourself.x