20 weeks and night waking and one hella tired family

[LB1981]

Hi! My 2nd (4 1/2 months, 20 weeks) is nightwaking. He went from sleeping through to 3 months to waking hourly some nights. We have managed to resist feeding 24/7 (we did that child number one and made rod for back etc etc) but what to do?

He is sleeping and feeding on a good routine in the day. He gets around 2 hours in days naps (morning, lunchtime and optional afternoon). He is having a graze at breakfast, lunch and dinner after a feed. He is the PERFECT DAYTIME BABY but then when the sun goes down Ka -BOOM! We bath, dinner, bed. He is swaddled with a pacifier, and then he sleeps for 30min at a time, untill 10pm when he sleeps for an hour at a time.

The last fortnight has been harrowing, my partner and I are making crazy tired decisions, mistakes and general craziness (think locking self out of house, dropping stuff at work, not being so good at the working thing, not being so good at the mothering thing). As light as I am being about it, I am worried one of us is going to be in a car accident - we are far too tired. I could do the waking business first time around but with toddler in toe I'm not coping and neither is my partner. Helpful tips welcomed.

Oof, I hear you. I have a perfect daytime baby/night-time terror as well. He's 24 weeks and has been like this since around 16 weeks.

Things which have helped slightly are

• putting him in his own room in his big cot which has a good mattress (crib one was rubbish)
• starting solids (I know people say this makes no difference- but it gives me the confidence that he is not hungry if he wakes in the evening)
• keeping him warm. In the cold weather he's had sleep sack + cardie + blanket.
• the pick up/put down method. This hasn't stopped him waking but has been a useful tool for settling without feeds.

We had one glorious week where he 'only' woke for feeds in the night. Then chickenpox struck and we were back to sq one. However the above tactics have meant that he generally sleeps for a 2-3 hour stretch at least once a night (woo ). I realise they mostly go against guidelines, but as you say, sleep deprivation also puts us all at risk if we can't function as parents and human beings.

My current thinking is that once he's on three square meals a day, I'll cut out night feeds altogether. Then we can go all-out with the PUPD. At the mo I am still feeding 2-3 times in the night as he is only having supper solids-wise, and is a big baby, so I think he still needs it.

We have a 3yo too so I feel your pain! I'm sure part of the problem is that we have rushed to him at every squeak to stop him waking dd up.

I console myself by thinking that in a few years time we'll probably laugh about his crazy sleeping ways. In the mean time though, it really really sucks. Am close to tears almost every night, willing the morning to come just to get it over with!

Courage to you!

I'm with you both. My LO 19 weeks is just the same and has been for 2 weeks with constant night wakings, from every hour after being put down. He's already in his own room and is normally swaddled but always wakes so I've introduced solids, for a week he has been having porridge in the morning and now I'm introducing something at tea, he's not a huge milk drinker (4oz every 3.5 hour) so I think he's happier on solids and he has been sleeping again YAY. he went down at 8.30 and woke at 10 but then slept til 3 whoop. After that it was every 45 mins but I'm happy with the 10-3. Stupid thing is I woke at 2 wondering why he hasn't woke lol. Lets hope things improve when on 3 meals and milk as and when. Any tips advice or updates would be great. Xx

Hello you three,

Please can I join you? My DS2 is 18 weeks and the last couple of weeks have been hell. He was doing fine at nights and only waking for a feed once or twice a night, but now he's waking every hour/hour and a half and I have never been so tired in my life. I'm assuming it's the famous 4 month sleep regression but as we didn't go through this with DS1 we are at a total loss at what to do.

LB, like you I feel seriously worried that the sleep deprivation will cause us to do something dangerous. I'm really upset as I'm snapping at my DH and my DS1 who don't deserve to live with the grumpy moo I've turned into lately. okthen like you we very quickly go to comfort DS2 because we live in a small flat and I don't want him to wake up DS1. Luckily I'm not back at work yet as I really think that would send me over the edge.

I've tried adding baby cereals to his last bottle before bed, and that seems to have helped him do a slightly longer stretch without waking. Today I'm going to try him on a bit of mashed banana to see how he likes that, as he really isn't eating much milk during the day. I may try to put him in his own room but it would mean he's in even closer proximity to DS1 which is why I'm a bit wary to do it. I've even given up breastfeeding as I hoped that formula might fill him up a bit more but now I realize he's not waking up through hunger.

Do any of you know how long the 4 month sleep regression is supposed to last and whether it sorts itself out on its own or we have to get them out of it? I read this blog yesterday www.mannlymama.com/2012/12/wonder-week-19-aka-4-month-sleep-regression/ which made me feel a bit better and seems to suggest that with the introduction of solids things DO get better.