15 month old awake & crying for hours in the night

[Frankie9]

Hi there
I'm desperate for some advice / reassurance - my 15 month old was previously a pretty good sleeper - a bit hit and miss, but would generally sleep right through from 7 until 6-6.30 most nights. He would always have at least 1.5 hour nap in the day time. In the last 3 weeks he has started waking in the night crying his eyes out, standing in his cot and he wont settle back down. Every night he will be awake for at least 2 hours and the rest of his sleep is broken. Here's some examples -
Wednesday - woke at 10.30 pm took 45 mins to settle, then again at 12pm - awake until 2.30am, then awake again at 4am, 5am then finally we gave in and got up at 6am (this is prob the worst example)
Thursday - woke at 11pm for 45 mins (did settle himself after 20 mins of crying), awake again at 4am finally went back to sleep at 6am for an hour

Every night is basically the same. My husband and I are beside ourselves - I'm not a great sleeper these days anyway so I find it hard to get back to sleep once I'm up - I reckon I'm getting 3 hours a night max. I wake frustrated and exhauasted every day.

My son is shattered. He wont settle in the day time either for long - 25 mins if I'm lucky so Ive been trying to get him to have 2 naps, but it's a battle which I often lose. He's getting very overtired which I think is then affecting him at night.
It's not teething and he's not ill, other than a bit of a runny nose (but when do they not have that?!). His room is dark and quiet and he's not to warm or too hot. Or hungry. We have tried controlled crying - it used to work, but he has become stubborn and is relentless now - he just cannot settle himself. He had his MMR about 3 weeks ago, which is the only other thing I think it could be linked to...has anyone else experienced this? whether linked to MMR / jabs - or not?
Need some ideas to try or at least some reassurance this is just a phase and we will all sleep again one day!

Let him sleep in bed with you..?

He is alone in a dark quiet room, probably wants to cuddle up to his Mum.

My now 16 month old dd sounds similar to your ds - waking almost every night for 2-3 hours. This has been going on for about 3 months. As the previous poster said it seemed like she just wanted cuddles but I couldn't bring her in bed with me as this just got her all excited and no hope of returning to sleep - although sometimes I have done just so I can lie down! So I sat cuddling her in her room for hours on end - sometimes feeling like I was creating bad habits etc - all those things that people tell you - but knowing in my heart that it was the best thing to do for her at the time. Anyway - last week...she stopped! And she's slept like a dream for the last 7 nights! I'm hoping that's how it's going to continue! But even if it doesn't I know that it won't be forever. So I haven't got any tips or techniques but I just wanted to encourage you that it will get better - you might just have to cuddle him and do what you can to rest - make yourself a comfy spot in his room, lie down with him if it helps, go to bed early (which I tried to do every few might just to catch up but didn't want to do every night). A number of other mums with similar age babies seem to be going through the same thing so I imagine it's an age and stage thing that we have to ride out. But what a nightmare when it's going on - it's so hard to function on 3 hours sleep every day xx

thanks both. we often bring him in to bed with us - but as you say BelleStar I worry that I am encouraging bad habits and fear that I am making the problem worse. and in fact most of the time he stil wont settle anyway. How will he ever settle alone if I cuddle him back to sleep every time he wakes... Perhaps we'll stop trying to fight it for a while and see if that helps...
Fingers crossed it will just stop as it has with your dd - sooner rather than later!

Frankie9 I thought that about my first, and made sure she settled herself off to sleep every night. With the second and especially the 3rd, I just didn't have the strength or the energy to tackle each of their individual sleep issues, and they used to interfere with each other's if I did, because they all share a room. I got so knackered, that I just let the younger two sleep when and where they wanted. When my son was 3 (on the day) we made a big fuss of his new big boy bed, it had special bedding on, and we bought new pyjamas and got him all fired up. That night, he jumped into his own bed, and slept there happily all night. I was expecting a bloody nightmare, but he wasn't bothered. I am hoping to do the same with his little sister on her 3 rd birthday. I know all children are different, but in our case, the co sleeping made sleeping very straight forward, and there are no issues. Although in our bed, the little ones know when its time, and snuggle down and go straight to sleep. I believe they are learning how to go to sleep, and then getting a good quality sleep, and establishing a good pattern. The transition into their own bed can be ok, a bit like potty training. Do it too early, and it can take months, or wait until they are totally ready and equipped, and they get on with it. This is based purely on my experience, and trial and error, just wanted to share a different approach with you. Hope you find a solution soon, best of luck.