Aaaarrrgghhh! What is going on with my 16mo?!

[JacqueslePeacock]

He has never been a good sleeper (major understatement alert) but this is plumbing new depths of sleep-related torture. Tired and ready for bed at 7pm, goes down OK. Fine, you think. But come 10pm he is up again and will NOT go back in the blasted cot. He settles down fine if I cuddle him or BF him, but as soon as I put him gently down in the cot the screaming begins. And it can last HOURS!

Last night I was up with him from 10pm until 1.30am. I tried patting him, holding his hand, and finally just sitting quietly by the cot. He even managed to lie himself down and settle back to sleep 3 times (impressive!). But the second I moved away from the cot, or even just shifted slightly in my chair, BING! Both eyes open, wide awake and SCREAMING. Once I managed to get out of the room for nearly two whole minutes, so he must have been a bit slow on the uptake, but he caught up eventually and lo, the screaming started again. Eventually I think he collapsed out of sheer exhaustion at 1.30, but he was up again by 4am so I gave up and brought him into bed with me, where he wriggled and jiggled but basically slept fine until 7am.

He may be teething, but has had Calpol, and this has been going on weeks. He is picking up lots of new words at the moment so I guess that may have something to do with it. But God help me, I work full time and am so tired I can't see straight. Please, somebody, have some answers for me!

No one going through anything similar? Oh bugger.

God, it's 10pm again and he's started again. Oh the screaming. I have no idea what to do. I am just sitting here listening and feeling awful. Tried cuddling and he calms down fine but starts again as soon as he nears the cot. Aarghh.

I think you need a plan. Others may disagree but generally a 16mo shouldn't need milk at night for nutrition so in your little one's case it's a comfort thing. Therefore I think a plan for how to deal with the wakings is the way forward. And doing EXACTLY THE SAME each time is really important. Are you averse to a bit of controlled crying? eg at each wake up wait 5mins before going in, a gentle word of reassurance and then leave? then wait another 5, 10 mins etc? honestly I think that would be a good way of showing that while you are there to reassure, night time is for sleeping. Hth and really good luck x

Oh god, I just don't think I could do controlled crying. It was bad enough sitting by the cot and having him cry himself into hysterics. I don't know why he hates the cot so much suddenly. He's fine if he sleeps in bed with me, but I need to work until late in the evenings so he can't come in with me at 10pm. Gah. Thanks for your message!

We have just been through this with my 15 1/2 month old DD1. It was a nightmare and we resorted to bringing her into our bed every night - but then it started getting earlier and earlier. I had to be in bed by 9 as she could wake up at any moment and would never get back to sleep in her cot. It worked for us for a while, I was pregnant and so early nights were welcome. But then the new baby arrived and four in a room was not working.
We changed DD1 cot into a toddler bed as the cot was a waste of space as she hated it. It took a week but she now sleeps through, something she hasn't done since she was 11 months old. I know people will say she is too young- but she hated the cot so much. She is such an independent little thing and I think she hated being stuck in there.
It might be worth trying though if you are desperate- it worked for us.

That's interesting! Does she not get out of bed in the night then? I would be worried DS escaping and getting up to no good... I'm not sure if it's realy the cot he hates or the fact that he has to sleep by himself, but converting the cot into a toddler bed would certainly be an option.

I am going through a similar thing with my 17.5month old DD, she was an excellent sleeper, basically slept through from 8 weeks, when she turned 1 she started waking at about 3am, I would give her a bottle then put her in bed with us. Some nights she'd wake others not. Since Christmas she has been waking continuously through the night, we put her in a cot bed before new year and since then it's been so bad!!!

Last Sunday we put her to bed at 7 as normal, she then woke at 830 and it took 2.5 hours and repeatedly putting her back into bed, she was screaming hysterically to the point of being sick. Finally fell to sleep but then woke again at 12 and we started the whole process again

The next night I couldn't go through all the crying again so when she woke at 915 I sat next to her bed for about 30mins, I tried to leave a few times but she kept waking!!

I would love to know what is waking her up, as I said she use to be the best sleeper, would sleep through anything. We are at our wits end of what to do, everyone gives you different advice. When we put her in our bed she sleeps all night without waking... I just don't want to start doing that from early on in the night and sit in 4 years with a 5 year old who wants to sleep in our bed!!!

Sorry I can't help op but know we are with you on this

God that sounds so, so familiar. Well, apart from the slept through since 8 weeks bit...that bit couldn't sound more different if it tried! Sorry you're going through this as well but it's nice to know we're not alone here.

Jacquesle I work full time too so I completely feel your pain. I did read that at about 18months they do go through a bit if a sleep regression, hopefully that is what this is for both of us. Holding thumbs that tonight is better for you

Ditto what jacques said. Our ds 17.5 mo is exactly the same!! It's blooming annoying.....there is clearly something going on in his little mind which he is struggling with. There's nothing wrong with him pain/illness wise which is causing it. Except possibly teeth??? I'm putting it down to development and hoping to hell it passes.....soon.

Thanks - it does help to know we're not the only ones. Could it be separation anxiety do you think? We had that badly at about 9 months but I read somewhere else on here it can peak at about 16 or 17 months. My DS seems a bit young for the dreaded 18-month sleep regression but i guess you never know.

AARRGGGHH! I'm going through exactly the same thing with my 16 month old dd. It's so frustrating! And it seems that nothing I do helps! We were in America for 3 weeks over Christmas and that's when it started - waking at about 11.30pm for at least 2 hours. And now we're back home the same thing is happening at exactly the same time. Which is why I don't think it's jetlag. It may be teething but she doesn't seem in pain. Just wide awake and wanting to play. I'm guessing it's to do with development and it'll pass, but it's driving me nuts! I'm so tired. Any tips and successes will be heard with open ears! It is nice to know I'm not the only one awake most nights at this time!

Same here with my 16mo DS. Always been a pretty good sleeper in the main and in the last week has started waking at about 10/11pm and then can be awake for anything up to 2 hours. Cuddle him and he goes back to sleep but about 5-10 mins after you put him back in his cot he is back screaming. We did cc when he was about 7 months old to train him how to sleep and it worked really well but I just don't see how that's going to work here - he knows how to sleep he just isn't. I think we are just going to persevere with some form of cuddling and soothing and hope it passes soon. Working full time on 4/5 hours sleep a night is not much fun.

My dd has always been a terrible sleeper and still wakes multiple times a night at 17 months... Like someone else said above, she hated her cot and would never sleep in it. So we got rid of it and she now has a single mattress on the floor with a duvet. We baby proofed the room in case she gets up, and her door is closed with the monitor on. She sleeps ok for the first hour or two of the night then when she wakes I go in and usually feed her back to sleep. It's worked loads better for me than trying to put her back in a cot, as she falls asleep and then I either fall asleep too and stay in with her, or I sneak off... She doesn't wake in the way she would if I was transferring her back to a cot, and I can fall asleep lying down in her bed, which I couldn't if I was sitting in a chair. Sometimes I've fallen asleep while she's still been chattering and wriggling, and woken up later to find her asleep next to me! It may not be for everyone but it might be worth a try?

I wish we had space in DS's room for a mattress on the floor but we don't! Otherwise I would definitely be resorting to feeding him in there and settling him like that, instead of repeatedly bringing him in to bed with me.

Interesting how many babies seem to be going through something similar at
this age. Makes me hopeful it's just a phase and the much awaited decent sleep might be around the corner. Working full time on 4 hrs a night is the absolute pits.

I sure it's a stage, the more people I talk to the more admit to going through the same thing at this stage.

My dd has been slightly better over the last few days thank goodness. Lets hope it continues.

I could have written your OP a few weeks ago. We did controlled crying - didn't like it, but it worked. Also really concentrated on getting DS to fall asleep by himself at nap times, so I was sure he could get to sleep by himself. It has improved - for now at least. He still wakes up 2/3 times a night but just needs a little cuddle then I can put him down awake and he goes off to sleep. Still knackered but better than being for 2/3 hours at a time.

But my post wouldn't have been so funny. At least you can still make jokes about it...