heartwarming stories needed of babies who didn't nap well then suddenly became sleeping angels!

[mogwai]

8 month old daughter. Aargh. She used to sleep for an hour in the morning and an hour after lunch. Right now we are having constant battles to get a nap out of her.

She goes into the cot fine (smiling and rubbing her eyes) but starts babbling, which is followed by whinging, then all out war. This can go on all morning.

She started crawling about 3 weeks ago. This seemed to make her more tired, but only at bedtime. We had to bring her bedtime forward from 7.15 to 6.30-6.45.

I could really do with hearing some positive stories right now. Was your baby like this? Did it get better?

This whole thing is making me feel physically and emotionally exhausted. I can't relax because I spend all day either listening to whinging and crying or waiting for it to start again. I'm sometimes on my own with her all week when my husband works shifts at weekends (though he gets monday and tuesday off to recuperate, while I have to go to work - how ironic!). I love her dearly, but I have no energy to look after her when she's like this. FED UP!!

should have added, have tried a number of strategies including swaddling, shushing, saying "it's sleep time now" (like in Baby Whisperer), PU/PD (exhausting - forget it).

She has a black out blind (which I don't think is especially effective).

drop the attempts at a morning nap, make her lunch a but earlier, and put her to nap after lunch. Then she should be tired enough to sleep pretty quicklt, and you can push her lunch later and later according to when you want her nap to be. Then the trigger for her naptime will be her lunch finishing.

Just a suggestion, worked for me.

Mogwai
I used the Baby Whisperer, 'pick up, put down' method with No2 because I was bloody DETERMINED to be one of those women who said: 'Oh, I'm just going to put him down for a nap now'. This made me green with envy with my number one, who wouldn't sleep unless we were on the move and stopped completely at 18 months. No2 was shaping up to be a nightmare too and I just went for it over the space of a week, and barely left the house. It worked and this one didn't make me feel like a horrible cruel person, as every other method had done. Beyond that, all I can say is: it's hell when it lasts, but it won't be forever, honestly. Hang in there, girl.

agree with colditz!
try just having a long nap after lunch.

I remember posting something similar to this when ds was around the same age... he actually went back to having 2 naps a day, but for a while we seemed to be in a limbo.. didn't want 2, but one wasn't quite enough.

it'll sort itself out in time though I think

um, no realy help, but DD got like this when she started crawling - it seemed like she was unable to wind down and the minute she went in her cot she turned over and tried to crawl. So it might just be that she's discovered something so fab (crawling) that she can't calm down and drop off.

there was no magic answer but I just persevered and she got over it after a couple of weeks. also it might be an idea to try not to bring bedtime forwards and just spend a few days really trying to get a nap our of her!

Anyhow, my DD is 15 months now and having been a colicky, screaming nightmare for the first 4 months of her life, and then a baby for quite a while who wouldn't nap, she is now a champion sleeper who puts in 13/14 hours a night and a 1.5/2 nap after lunch - all the 'good' babies get up at 6am now.

Me!

Ds didn't like to nap at all during the day but did settle quite well at night but I woul dhave to go up to him about 5 or 6 times a night to cuddle him then put him down.

Now aged 21 months he sleeps like a teenager - he goes down at about 8pm and wakes up at about 9.30/10am ALSO he now naps in the afternoon sometimes for 3 hours. I am so amazed and it's more than made up for his rocky start.

He seemed to improve at about 13 months which coincided with him starting to walk.

Thanks for your replies. I hadn't considered dropping the morning nap, she starts rubbing her eyes and getting cranky about 8.45am, so I give her a bottle and settle her.

I've just been thinking about this. She goes to a childminder three days a week. Actually, it's a pair of childminders, who are fantastic, but have no children of their own.

They have other children with them, who all sleep for most of the morning (9.30am is bedtime for them all and they go through to about 11.45am).

My daughter is the youngest of the lot (by a year) but they have tried to get her to fit in with their routine (they are having a bad time of it, as you can imagine and are also tring techniques to help, none of which are working).

I have always tried to fit in with their pattern because I'm aware that they need her to sleep in the morning so as not to disturb the other kids (and so that they can prepare lunch etc). They made it clear in the beginning that they thought she would probably drop her afternoon nap eventually and sleep just like the other kids. They said that all the children they've ever had do this quite soon.

I feel stressed out everytime I collect her and get a report about what a hard time they had with her (they say it nicely, but it's clearly getting on their nerves). I also find it hard to forge new routines when they are so fixed on her having a morning nap. They have trips out in the afternoon, so a proper nap wouldn't fit in.

I'm really stressed out girls

mogwai I strongly feel that childcare providers should work around your childs routine... not expect them to fit in with theirs.
a baby isn't just going to sleep when they want just because it's easier for them...
especially not at 8 months!

that's possibly the most unhelpful reply you'll get on this thread...

I suppose I am saying that they either need to accept that she doesn't sleep then... or maybe you need to find someone else?

Felt I had to add to this one. I can count on one hand the number of full nights' sleep I had in over five years with my 3 children and because of this, it was really difficult to cope during the day! I really didn't realise how tired I always was until I started to have consistently full nights sleep! I was always dropping things - I broke loads of plates, glasses etc. and this was just down to pure tiredness, so I do know how you feel.

I tried all sorts of solutions but none of them really worked. All I can say is that all my children now go to bed at the right time, and barring the normal bugs, colds etc. they all sleep through the night - in fact, I have a struggle to get the oldest two up! (That's a different story!)

I know it's not much consolation at the moment Moghwai, but just try to go with the flow - your baby's going to grow up so fast - you didn't say, but if she's sleeping through from 6:30, you're very lucky.

The thing is - you just get into a nice routine and then it changes again! She's at the age now when perhaps she doesn't need 2 naps in the day. However, why is she so whingey, or is it just your perception because you're tired?

Is she comfortable, is she bored, is she getting enough exercise & fresh air? Try to plan it so that you take a nap when she does - even 20 mins will give you enough energy to keep going. Be creative - plan little treats for yourself - a bath and a book, a cup of tea & biscuit - anything to reward yourself for getting through the day.

Are you a member of a Mother & Baby group or something? I found this really helped me.

Above all though, realise that nothing is permanent and that things really do get better!

Bye for now!

So if they are expecting her to go back to bed at 9:30, what time is she getting up in the morning? Because that leaves a massive gap between end of nap and bedtime, and leaves you with the Arsenic Hours and an extra tired baby, if she does drop that afternoon nap.

I don't understand why they have children sleeping when they have not long got up. Toddler groups are typically scheduled in the morning because most older babies and toddlers have an afternoon nap!

I met them when she was two months old (and went back to work when she was six months).

They told me that 9.30am was nap time, so between 2-6 months, I tried so hard to get naptime somewhere near this, in preparation for her going to them.

I find I'm spending my 4 days with her trying to stick to a routine that will suit them.

Aha. Penny drops.

So tomorrow, I turn up at 8am and announce she'll be wanting them to play with her all morning

jeeeeesh I need a drink

That's their problem, not yours, if they want to spend two hours looking after only sleeping children, they should babysit, not childmind.

They should be flipping playing with her! I think your childminders are taking the mick a bit, expecting you to rearrange your life to make theirs easier. Every child I know who only has one nap has an afternoon nap, not a morning one - honest.

The funny thing is, before I had kids, I thought children slept in the afternoon. I even remember sleeping in the afternoon myself as a child.

The other children are aged about 2 and 3 years and I don't think they sleep in the afternoon.

I keep worrying that they will "expel" her if she causes a problem to them. They really are lovely lovely people but they have very set routines, which I can imagine makes their day bearable. I've got to the point I try to get my husband to pick her up because I just don't want to hear how many dirty nappies she's caused them and what a dreadul time she's had with sleep.

But this thread has actually made me think again!

I would make your feelings very clear with your childminders. YOU are in charge of your daughter's routine, not them.

And WTF is going on with the complaining to you about your daughter? how many dirty nappies do they expect, she is a baby, not a 4 year old!

I would either really lay the law down with them, or move her to someone more accomadating to babies.

I'm sure they do play with her, but I know they would rather she was asleep. Not least because they are having such a battle with her and it must upset the other children (who are presumably asleep!!)

I've really bent over backwards to do things their way (not just naptimes, other things like speed of meals, timing of bottles)

I'll make the morning nap later; give her the bottle and try playing with her again.

Plus, it's not your job to make their day bearable, if they can't cope they shouldn't do it. They can't expect all the children to nap at the same time, especially when they are different ages.

Sorry, have gone into a full auto-rant.

hmmm

I wouldn't want her to go elsewhere though. The set up is lovely, she enjoys going there and has become attached to them. I have total faith in them, just the thing about their routine bothers me (bothers me more now I realise my child is not the only one sleeping all morning...do they drug them? ).

I'll tell them tomorrow that I need them to move the nap back a bit. And that's that!

(rant away Colditz....I thought I was being unreasonable and now I feel better)

Ds - not such a great sleeper when a baby. Recollect quite a few occasions when I took him for a drive at 03.00 in the morning to try and get him to nod off.

We turned the corner at circa 9 months. Now regularily sleeps for 11 hours at night and a further 1 hour at (late) lunch time. He is 23 months.

Hi Mogwai

If my ds were to sleep 9.30 -11.45 or so he would be asolutely shattered by 5.30pm and he is 15 months old. At 8 months old he still needed needed three naps a day of 1-2 hrs in the am and pm and a short 1/2 nap in the afternoon - absolutely no question and he was still asleep at about 6/6.30pm most nights.

Ds went to 2 naps a day at about 9 months old and is still haing those now - though he is in the process of dropping his morning nap now (that's a whole other story)

Although all babies are different it is more usuual to have an afternoon nap once the two naps goes down to one nap.

The reason you may be having these problems is that she is overtired if she is not napping properly at the childminders

I know you like the childminders but if they were refusing to feed her when she was hungry would you still take her there? In my opinion depriving a child of sleep when they need it comes a pretty close second to that. They need to make some accomodations for her otherwise you and she will suffer for it.

My DD never ever napped except a) in my arms after a feed b) in the sling or buggy on a walk and c) in the car seat driving. Occasionally she flaked out on sofa at home or on floor at nursery if knackered. I just gave up trying any other way, drove an awful lot and I guess nursery suffered :)

She's 4 now, sleeps perfectly through night from about 8pm to 7am.

I've given up trying to make dd nap if she doesn't want to, she goes down about 8.30-9.00am for an hour (sometimes), try to get 1/2 - 2 hrs out of her in the afternoon and thats not always successful, they certainly shouldn't be trying to conform your daughter to fit in with their routine as childminders each child is different they of all people should know this and bless she is only 8mths
ps they can't be that lovely if they were to 'expel' her for not conforming to their sleep rountine amyway hope you get it sorted

I think 9.30 is far too early for a long daytime nap. It means you probably end up bringing bedtime forward becasue she's so knackered, and so start a vicious circle. A short nap at 9.30 maybe, but all the children I know nap after lunch.....

hi Mogwai

Did you have words with your childminders?