So, you're not supposed to feed/cuddle/rock/jiggle/sing/dance/them to sleep, what, pray tell, ARE you supposed to do?

[bunnyfrance]

Title says it all really. DD is 11 weeks, she has a 2 year old brother who used to feed to sleep, best rod I ever had. She, however, will not feed to sleep and we spend every evening walking around with her in our arms for two hours, if not more, in a darkened flat. She will scream if you put her down. PUPD just makes her hysterical, shush pat doesn't work either. I have her in a sling all day, which is ok, it's the evenings which are so difficult and exhausting. Help, please!

Anyone have any advice? Thanks!

Sounds very tiring but I am sure she will get better in time. I don't have any great advice but have you tried co-sleeping? Would she be more settled with you in the bed?

Embrace the rod and rock!

Actually try putting her to bed earlier - we had this problem with DS and earlier bedtime cracked it (mostly)

Can you sling her to sleep? When she was tiny, DD was go in the Moby and sleep whilst we had our dinner. Then had some milk and then we were able to transfer her to bed.

I imagine our next one will be doing similar. Planning on co-sleeping this time around.

You might find it gets better over the next few weeks - someone told me that when I posted a thread about DD screaming all evening and it was true. At 13 weeks she began to calm down and with steady improvement by 16 weeks we could rock her gently to sleep with few tears at about 7 and pop her in the cot. We then found we could gradually reduce the amount of rocking until she dropped off on our laps, shortly after (about 5.5 months) we began putting her in the cot awake (though still doesn't always work for naps at 7mo)

Thanks for the replies, everyone. We do, in fact, co-sleep a lot of the time (mainly because I fall asleep during night feeds and wake up hours later with her still munching away....)

The problem is not so much that she screams, more that we can't put her down without her waking up. DH and I spend our evenings in darkness, whispering to each other, rocking DD.

I had visions of everyone else just popping their babies awake in their cribs and them going happily to sleep...good to know it's not true!

So not true don't worry about that, I'm in the boat believe me. Although my little madam will eventually fall asleep feeding on me and I'm not wanting that anymore cause its getting too much for me. I try putting her in her crib when she looks sleepy but she goes mad and daytime naps don't exist in our house she can even be in a deep sleep but once put down in her crib she is wide awake and after ten mins max she is screaming.
I am trying to move everything forward, bath time feed etc and trying to persevere getting her in her crib awake to dose off by herself but me just being there next to her for now.
So hard isn't it.
I'm feeling so exhausted so can relate.

Ah, my ds2 was the same. He did feed to sleep thought from about 12 weeks and boy, was I happy! He's not the world's best sleeper, but at least I can lie down or sit down instead of the wandereing around.

A lot of los just won't settle in the evenings for the first few months. It is perfectly normal. It is also hard work, especially with a toddler too.

Hold out - it'll pass. I promise

Funnily enough my dd is 11 weeks and same situation as you - won't feed to sleep easily and also have toddler. Fingers crosses it gets better. I find White noise really helps her relax. And rocking in pram in day... At bedtime I just sit and feed for hours in dark. Never see my dh!