Self settling for a toddler 22m, will transition to a bed help? In fact, help wanted generally!

[BranchingOut]

Hello, would love some help on this!
It has come to the crunch point with our 22 month old's sleep. He is happy to fall asleep on the breast and can also fall asleep lying beside us on the bed or if he is held/rocked. However, he has never really falled asleep in his cotbed, though he has sometimes re-settled that way. He sometimes lies down in his cotbed after his bath while we are tidying up, but if I tried to put him in there at bed time would just become totally frantic. Also, the slats are spaced such that it is not that easy to put your hands through and soothe him that way.

However, he generally (touch wood) sleeps through the night :). Hooray!

So, what do you think of these ideas:

Take the sides off his cot bed so that we can read him stories in bed.

Listen to lullabies in bed. He loves 'twinkly' music, so any suggestions for CDs gratefully received!

Dim the lights and snuggle up to him in his bed. Then gradually reduce this/withdraw as time goes on.

Will a cot bed take my weight if I lie next to him? I am about 63 kilos.

I am thinking of the babydan click on and off bedguard. Does anyone have this? Is the 'click' the sort that would rouse a slumbering toddler?

bed guard

Forgot to add, is it still ok to use a sleeping bag?

bump

I have a 22 month old who also doesn't self settle. She sleeps on a double mattress on the floor, and needs me to lie down next to her with the lights out before she can go to sleep. If I wasn't there, or if I left the room before she was totally asleep, she'd have a tantrum.

Unfortunately I think at 22mths if they can't self settle, you've kind of missed the boat on sleep training and you'll just have to wait til they're old enough to reason with. I figure that I've managed this long, and it'll just be a few more months til she's old enough to understand the idea of a big bed with a duvet and pillow. She's not quite there yet but hopefully will be fairly soon.

We still use a grobag - the really big ones for 18-36mth olds. No reason not to.

Thanks for your response. I have also linked to this thread in Parenting and put a couple of responses there.

Do you think that lying down with them then gradually easing away is the way to go?

Do you think that lying down with them then gradually easing away is the way to go?

Yes, ime. My ds2 was 22 months old a couple of months ago and had never fallen asleep without my boob in his mouth or in dh's arms if, and only if, he knew I was not in the house. Now he goes down on the bottom bunk with ds1 above him and I can usually be downstairs within 30 minutes, often less. It took about a week to get to this stage - I was amazed as I thought it would take a lot longer.

In a way I agree with the poster who said they are now too old to be trained - ds2 is very verbal and has been for a while. I wouldn't say I can reason with him but he does understand simple explanations etc and I think that has helped.

We have stories together (the 3 of us) during which ds2 has milk, then he gets into bed, I hold him - but his back is on the bed - and sing a couple of songs, I kneel on a mattress on the floor next to him and sing another couple, I go out and sit in his doorway on my laptop and usually have to go back in another couple of times to sing. It takes up to half an hour, often less and was a lot more the first few nights only.

Good luck - I now need to work on getting him to stay there!

Sorry, I missed the crucial bit - the actual question in your title and could have posted a much briefer reply to that - yes. Both my dc really changed when they moved to a bed - ds1 to a toddler bed and ds2 to the bunk. Ds1 slept through for the first time ever on his first night in the new bed and never looked back! Ds2 has always been more hard work but even he has done really well as I described above. Talk about it loads - how he's a big boy now etc, get him involved in choosing bedding etc. Obviously they are all different but I think your plan of a new bed and gradual withdrawal is a good one. He may not be ready but you have nothing to lose as he will presumably need a new bed soon anyway.