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Sleep

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Original poster

Forget the 4 month regression: this is much, much worse.....

28 replies

matana · 22/07/2011 14:49

Everyone warned me 4 months would be horrendous. In hindsight it passed relatively without incident. DS is 8 months and is all over the place. He's tired and cranky all day, he has frequent wakings at night. Sometimes he'll whinge a bit and eventually go back to sleep, sometimes he'll end up trying to crawl down his cot and gets stuck so screams the house down until i rescue him. His naps are crap - cannot be relied upon and completely inconsistent. Just now he woke after 30 minutes face down, tearful and won't go back to sleep even though he's knackered. I can't catch up on sleep during the day because it's guaranteed that just as i fall asleep he'll wake up.

My DS is usually such a good sleeper so i suppose i've been spoilt/ lulled into a false sense of security.

Anyone else with an 8/9/ 10 month old and care to share?

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TurtlesAreRetroRight · 22/07/2011 14:53

I found 4 months really hard. 8 months was a gargantuan challenge. 12 months nearly finished me off.

Was fine after that...

I hope it's over quickly for you.

Haudyerwheesht · 22/07/2011 14:58

Well.... Dd has been waking regularly since 8m but tbh though she doesn't nap except for 30 mind on me and I am knackered I'm just trying to see the bigger picture - this is the key to survival / sanity.

I remind myself of ds at this age. He. Did. Not. Sleep. Ever. And I remind myself other people are coping with that still and I am not that bad (yet?).

I can't catch up on sleep in the day anyways as have ds so I'm not so bothered about the crap naps tbh.

I just remind myself all the time that it is a phase and it will pass.

Seriously, I think this is the only way to get through it - unless I suppose you want to do 'sleep training' which I don't.

DialsMavis · 22/07/2011 22:31

My D is 8.5 months and her sleep is starting to go a bit crap too. Her night time sleep is so far (touch wood and anything I suspect to be wood or even wood like) unaffected but she is crying before every nap and at bedtime, where she has settled happily for months. I just don't know what to do? She only went from 3 short naps to 2 at 7 months so i am sure she isn't ready to drop to one long nap yet. I thought maybe she needed to stay awake longer before having a nap but that doesn't seem to work. I think it is either the fact she is learning to crawl or the start of seperation anxiety. I don't know how to handle it so will be watching this thread with interest. I have been leaving her if she is awake in her cot, or having a moan slight grizzle but going in if she if she starts propelry crying and sounding distressed. She won't go to to sleep on me and has to sleep so i guess this is all I can do.

lifeistooshort · 22/07/2011 22:33

re getting stuck, get an airwrap, they sell them at jojomamanbebe I think

DialsMavis · 22/07/2011 22:34

aghhhh typos, sorry! Dp away for the weekend at a festival so iam taking solace in my old friend sauvingnon

Original poster

matana · 23/07/2011 09:11

Hi DialsMavis, sounds to me like you're doing the right thing. Sounds like my DS before his naps too (last night he managed to sleep through without a sound - hooray! - but his nap this morning was torturous) I've been doing what you have been - leaving him if he's just wimpering/ whinging but going to him if it sounds like he's ramping up a gear and going into meltdown. I agree it's probably a combination of separation anxiety and developmental things. When my DS has gone through stages like this in the past i've just given him all the reassurance and cuddles he seems to need, knowing that it's a phase (he's not normally a particularly clingy baby) and he'll eventually get back to his old sleeping habits. He always manages it in the end so i'm sure your DD will too. It just seems this 8 month regression might last a bit longer than other ones!

And thanks lifeistooshort! Will give that a try.

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Original poster

matana · 23/07/2011 09:12

Sorry, meant to bold your names not italicise!

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CountBapula · 23/07/2011 09:42

DS is 10 months and has been a bit mental the last few weeks. Night-time sleep is variable - for example, in the last few days we've had two nights of four or five wakings , two with one waking and one sleeping through although I think that was because he got startled by the noise of my food mixer and was so traumatised that he had to sleep it off!

He is super-clingy during the day. Hates it when I leave the room or even walk out of his sight for a couple of seconds. Clambers all over me and clutches my leg when I walk past him. Refuses to go in his cot at bedtime or naptime unless completely asleep - otherwise he wakes, cries and stands up or starts crawling round the cot.

The hardest bit is getting him to settle at bedtime. Some nights he just won't go to sleep. He's not crying, he's just full of beans. Last night he went to sleep at 9:45

He also insists on a bf at every night waking. DH can rock him to sleep, but he just wakes up again soon afterwards.

The saving grace is that his naps are generally very good at the moment. Up to two hours in the morning and 1.5 in the afternoon. So at least I have some time to mumsnet relax and catch up on things.

This too will pass! :)

CocoPopsAddict · 24/07/2011 22:45

My DS is almost eight months. Sounds familiar to me - he used to sleep through and now wakes at least two or three times a night.

He won't nap in the day unless it is on my lap after a breastfeed.

Also has periods of crying inconsolably which I haven't really experienced with him before (lucky, I know!).

I think it is something to do with awareness - suddenly he has become afraid of people he doesn't know if they come close to him.

Or possibly he is angry because he is so close to crawling.

Uh-oh, can hear him now!

Original poster

matana · 25/07/2011 10:27

Without wanting to speak too soon, we've had some success over the weekend! Back to sleeping through (though some consoling needed when settling him down in strange surroundings on Saturday) and his naps have improved. I've noticed he has a runny nose and keeps coughing, so perhaps illness has played a part over the past week too.

CocoPopsAddict it's a really difficult age because they're accomplishing so much. Like you, we've had periods of inconsolable crying and he's going through what i refer to as a 'sensitive' phase. He's not normally a nervous baby, but new experiences are scaring him a bit now. He's still pretty good with people (though increasingly looks in my direction for reassurance) but when things happen that he doesn't understand he's a bit fearful and it can end in tears.

And he's definitely getting very frustrated with his inability to crawl forward. He only has reverse gear at the moment!

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DialsMavis · 25/07/2011 14:36

Glad to hear it Mantana! DD has stopped crying before naps and bedtime too, such a relief! The last 2 days she has missed her am nap as I have been out and about and gone straight down for a long afternoon one. But she is surely to young to drop to one nap?
She is desperate to crawl though but just can't figure out to move her arms before her legs. She gets on all fours rocks back and forth looks cross and then gets up on her feet and hands.

I think I ca feel the beginning of her first top tooth so I don't think the peace will last too long here

narmada · 25/07/2011 21:58

I am checking in here too: DS had been sleeping through for months (well, from when we went to bed) but is now waking more than when he was a newborn. He's 9 mos. Naps crap too. Joys! Hoping it will be short lived.

I am now having clear recollections of DD being absolutely awful at about the same age, except with her there wasn't much to regress from.

Hey CountBapula! was wondering how you and the other newborn sleep nightmare were getting on :)

CountBapula · 27/07/2011 04:45

Yup, still here, stalking the sleep board ...

Things have been a bit better, but DS is teething so have fed him back to sleep four times quite a bit tonight. Vair vair tired ...

Glad to hear your DS is better. Am sure this is just a blip!

Original poster

matana · 27/07/2011 11:03

Doh! 5.30am wakings twice in a row now - nothing calms him except feeding back to sleep

But on the positive side he then went back to sleep until 7.45 so i got a nice lie in!

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firstforthought · 27/07/2011 12:04

Trying my best to keep it together over here. DS has just turned 9 months and has been a terrible sleeper since he was 6 months. Worse now than when he was newborn! How about not just night-waking but waking and staying awake fot 2-3 hours! spending all that time trying to resettle.

IvyAndGold · 27/07/2011 12:24

Have you tried napping together/cosleeping? I wasn't a fan at first, but DD slept much better and for longer, and so I was getting more sleep and was a much happier mummy.

NingNang · 27/07/2011 12:45

DD is 8.5 months and has slept through once ever.

We had a very short spell of only 2/3 night feeds after a few nights of offering a cup of water and not letting her fall asleep on the breast. She seems to have gone back the other way now and needs the boob to get back to sleep every two hours. I've tried to be tough and refuse to feed her but it's awful watching her get into a state over it.

She's feeding more in the day too. I'm finding it really hard to know what's best. Every time I feed her I want to cry. It makes me wonder if I've spoiled her with breast feeding on demand all this time. The other bf babies I know are sleeping through and they're all much younger. I think most of them are in a routine for feeds though.

My HV is really supportive of bf but also recommends CC from 6 months and tells me DD doesn't need to be fed in the night.

SleepDeprivedGrumpyBum · 28/07/2011 08:41

My DS is 9 months and has never slept through. He sailed through the 4 months regression, but since about 5.5 months his sleep has been getting progressively worse and is now at an all time low.

He wakes every 2 hours or less. All the guff about getting him to fall asleep in his cot helping sleep is a load of balderdash, it makes no difference whatsoever! He know's he doesn't get fed when he wakes (although to be fair he probably is getting mixed messages as by about 1am i give in and co-sleep) and if he knows i'm in the house he refuses to settle for DP. I started back at work this week working 3 evenings a week, one shift until 11pm and I.AM.KNACKERED!!!

Sorry for the hijack I'm just totally fed up!

CountBapula · 28/07/2011 13:42

Grumpybum I agree with you. At six months my DS was going into his cot awake and falling asleep there, but waking every 1-3 hours. Now at 10 months he is rocked/fed to sleep (the falling asleep in the cot came to an end when he learned to crawl) but is sleeping for six-hour stretches most nights. It is a crock of shit that they need to fall asleep unaided to go through the night. DS has slept through twice in his life, and the second time, he was fed to sleep and had refused to touch his dinner (which knocks the solids theory on the head as well, though I always knew that was bollocks).

Original poster

matana · 31/07/2011 08:54

Deteriorating again here. Two teeth have come through recently and no signs of any others so had hoped things would improve. But he's woken three times a night/ early morning for the past two nights and could not be re-settled when he woke screaming (trying to crawl) at 5am. I cuddled him, he fell asleep on my shoulder, i put him down, he cried. I tried again, he cried as soon as i put him in his cot. I gave him his cuddly toy, it worked.... for ten minutes. I fed him to sleep, it worked.... for 20 minutes. He's waking crying from every single nap and sleep, and is the crankiest i've ever seen him during the day. He's usually such a happy little boy and has settled easily for sleeps, but this is a nightmare. He usually settles well in the evening at about 7.30 but i was running upstairs all evening yesterday until 9.30.

WTF??? I'm going back to work full time in two weeks!

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Zimm · 31/07/2011 10:25

Hi all. Just to say my DD had a bad time at 8/9 months also. It was shit. Next week she is 1 and now is sleeping through. This is happened quite suddenly after she cracked crawling and went into her own room. So there is hope! Also I night weaned her. I didn't want to have to do it but I figured she was ol enough and I needed to sleep. Only took 3 nights.

scarlettlips · 31/07/2011 10:36

Oh no please don't say things like this... But it's good to know when I'm up at 1.45, 3, 4.30 and 6am lots of you are also doing the same thing!

We have had tears this morning in our household....ME! I'm so dam fed up and more fed up of smug mothers who i know telling me 'Oh well our darling Clementine is sleeping straight through, has done for months' oh fuck off go away!

DD (5 months) is getting progressively worse too, I can't get her to feed properly either. She's trying to crawl and her new favorite game is whooohoooo I can roll over! Lovely but watch but not at 3am in the morning.

I'm holding on by my finger nails, starting to feeling like a bad mother. Which I know is crap...just the lack of sleep talk.

Sending hugs x

brokensleeper · 01/08/2011 00:26

oh hi im so glad ive found this thread as i was about to post one about my wits end as i have a 5.5 month old who doesnt get to sleep until midnight even though she bathed fed and bed by 7. i then spend the next 5 hours trying to get her to sleep in her cot. im going crazy with fatigue, stressed &its making me so tearful and at the end of my tether. my other half wont help at all (our relationships is pretty much a zero..but thats another story).
i feel like im not doing this bed time thing right at all...sorry to hijack...im struggling too. all i keep thinking is 'what am i doing wrong here, why wont she sleep'. I have just got her to sleep and thats because she was absolutely exhausted. :(

Zimm · 01/08/2011 07:35

Broken sleeper - how crap to be dpong it with no support. Why don't you post your routine (whole day) and we'll see if we can help?

Original poster

matana · 01/08/2011 10:39

I agree with Zimm - post your routine and we'll see if we can help.

One thought is perhaps your LO needs a bit more help distinguishing night from day. So, do you do things to help her differentiate - e.g. evening/ night feeds in a quiet, darkened place, using whispers/ low voice, whilst daytime feeds bright, light, louder etc? Sorry if i sounds patronising, just trying to find out how you do things, no criticism intended as we're all in the same boat...

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