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Sleep

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Original poster

Ds id 15 months and been crying for 2 hours

11 replies

becknnico · 12/07/2011 14:54

Been trying to wean his nighttime feedings and sometimes it goes okay, and sometimes not. This morning I refused the boob and I think it was around 330am. He has been crying for nearly 2 hours. Offered him some water and finally got up and tried to give food and he wont take it. I am at my wits end. I have been crying for almost just as long. We co sleep and I have a mattress next to mine that I have been putting him down on and it works til the middle of the night. He pulls my hair out. Bats at my face, tries to crwl over my head and face and then sometimes drops off but sometimes does not. Just dont know what to do anymore. Keeping the entire house up. Losing sleep. He is a mess and so am I. He is 15 months, I need to get him off night feedings. Dont know what to do:(

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KD0706 · 12/07/2011 22:19

Oh, that sounds awful. Poor you.

Could you sleep elsewhere and leave DP to try and settle him? I've heard from others on here that babies settle easier without boob when mum isn't around.

Or, not going to be a popular one, but maybe he's just not ready to night wean yet? Could you keep feeding him at night for another month or so and then try again? Or is there some pressing reason why you need to night wean him.

Hope tonight is better

Beamur · 12/07/2011 22:23

I decided to night wean DD at a similar age, she was waking more often to feed and I was so tired, but I thought the easiest way for us both would be to also move her to another room to sleep as I didn't think she would accept being settled without a feed in the night if I was nearby. It did work and very quickly, but I think for us, sleeping in separate rooms was key. It meant when she woke, DP went in and settled her, otherwise I think she would have just been very cross and cranky with me.
Are you keen to keep co-sleeping?

thisisyesterday · 12/07/2011 22:25

that sounds awful, for both of you :(

have you read the no-cry sleep solution? that worked ok for us and I think there might be a toddler version too

how often does he normally feed at night?

Original poster

becknnico · 12/07/2011 23:38

I dont have a DP unfortunately. I would have tackled that angle for sure already!:) You know, I would love the separate room idea! I do not have one of those either! But, perhaps I will try the weaning process again in another month or so.. Going on a trip to see family in less than a month and maybe it would be better if I approached this after. He feeds kinda a lot at night. He usually has a really good feed around 1am. This is what also gets me...I know he is kinda hungry and also know I need to teach him to fill on dinner and be able to get through the night but it still kinda pains me knowing he will fill up. Then he maybe actually eats a little one other time through the night and the rest is just comfort. ESPECIALLY in the early early morning when he really starts to get hysterical without the boob. The no-cry sleep solution should be good for me to look into. I heard a while back about another weaning book that was a gentle approach and was good. Anyone know of it? Also- BEAMUR- was your little one in a crib? I dont have a crib, I have a twin mattress on the floor for him so he would end up crying at the door before he walked back to the be to settle. Dont know how badley this would hinder the progress...

OP posts:

hellymelly · 12/07/2011 23:46

Well my dds both seemed to really want/need that 1a.m. ish feed at 15m.And several other feeds actually,and I just went with it even though I was exhausted.A bit later with dd1,when I was pregnant again so around 22/24 m I talked to her and said she could "save the milk up" and have it in the morning but not at night.She accepted that and was fine.DD2 however would not accept any such idea and kept on feeding at least once a night until well past 3. (she went straight back to sleep though,so not too hideous). Mine are both still in the bed with me by the way,so I'm not very helpful am I?

missmakesstuff · 13/07/2011 00:07

I am about to get to bed myself and probably a bit late with the advice but feel awful for you - My Dd is the same age, she occasionally feeds at night, but we usually know when it is down to growth spurt or teeth hurting, and is occasional now - she also will not sleep in our bed or dose off on me anymore, hasn't for months, it's just too distracting I think - which is very annoying, as it used to be the failsafe way of getting her to sleep - but she just needs quiet and dark to go to sleep at night now - he has her own room though. can you not find her a space in your room where she is able to sleep on his own? use curtains or something to section an area off? I got to the end of my tether around 12 months, but thankfully it just started to fall into place, we used this website and book www.babysleepanswers.com - it isn't anything groundbreaking, but they are very helpful and if you sign up, they are there to answer questions via email, I found it very helpful.

It will end - it has to! But every baby is different, so I'm not sure how much this will help - but I did find that as soon as I got dd used to a cup of water at night, a non spill one, that she has in her cot, and just one generally, or occasionally two/three feeds during the day, with feeds not being the main thing to get her to sleep, her sleep got better. Now getting her to go to sleep for anyone else, another matter altogether......

good luck

KD0706 · 13/07/2011 00:10

I'd wait till after the family holiday if I were you.
Who knows, he may night wean himself by then

I just think that if it's a huge battle, and you don't need to wean him for any specific reason, then you should try again later when hopefully he will be more ready for it.

Let us know how you get on.

Beamur · 13/07/2011 13:03

My example was pretty useless for you wasn't it!
Yes, my DD was in a cot, so she couldn't escape, plus she wasn't walking either.

Given your situation, I think it is going to be difficult to persuade your son that a nighttime feed is not an option without upsetting him. I certainly thought with my DD that she wasn't actually hungry, but had woken and wanted a comfort feed to help her back to sleep.

Original poster

becknnico · 14/07/2011 19:36

Thanks everyone! Think I may try again after family vacation and read a few books too!

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beatofthedrum · 14/07/2011 19:44

This is no practical help whatsoever, but the one thing I learnt from having my first baby is that no stage lasts forever. I worried and worried about her feeding and sleeping, spent hundreds of hours trying to change things and really, time is always your friend. I now have dc2 and am going to really try to have faith that all difficult stages will come and go and he will end up fine! Is unlikely I'll manage to follow my own advice though ! The very best of luck.

Iggly · 14/07/2011 19:47

I remember DS having the odd night feed at that age. I used to take him off after a short time and try and settle without. So maybe try timing a couple of night feeds then reduce them by a minute or two every night.

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