Feeding and now walking wiv DD in sling not getting her to sleep..losing will to live, help!

[mammainlove]

I've been given lots of conflicting advice on what to do to get my 1yr old dd to sleep. Many have said that she is probably going through a development spurt at this age and i should do what is easiest to get her to sleep. We are struggling with everything. Me or my dp will take her round the block up to 3 times in one evening, and when we get back and try gently to put her down, she wakes up and cries and will not be fed to sleep! We co-sleep and if i try to teach her to self-settle, she wrestles and bites. I havnt stuck with this because the general advice i am getting is that she's too young, and to wait 'til she's out of this 'development spurt' (how long does this last?!), but this is so tiring as she is so heavy! I dont know what my instinct is, my feelings change all the time, which doesnt help being stressed and exhausted. I'm trying to read the 'no cry sleep solution' book but struggling to find time. Any suggestions please please please!..

you poor thing. Whatever you do you need to be consistent. What is your current night time routine and what do you do with regard to naps in the day? If you can give an idea of that then it might be easier to help?

We read a bit before she goes out in sling. To be honest we dont spend long in winding her down before she goes out as she instantly calms when she's in sling and it takes 20mins til she falls asleep. She usually has 2 naps a day, i've tried dropping morning nap and bringing afternoon nap forward but she gets far too tired.

Whilst I was never rigid with a routine, I did find that putting ds to bed at a reasonable time (for him about 8ish) after a quick bath, into pj's, into his sleeping bag thing and then reading a story with him already in his bed really helped as it did help wind him down. He had a habit of just yelling/babbling and crying/ babbling on and on and on and I used to sit in his room after reading his story with a book of my own and just read it and basically ignore him, just lying him down every 15 mins or so and saying it was time for sleeping. I couldn't leave him on his own at that age to cry himself to sleep as it just didn't seem right. But by doing the same thing over and over, by being calm (easier said than done after an hour of someone crying at you) and letting him know that i was there without actually engaging with him it eventually worked. Don't give up, think about what would suit you and what time you want to put her down to sleep and work on some sleep cues she can pick up on, maybe a favorite book that only comes out at bedtime when she's in bed or somethiing like that. Its hard when they don't know how to fall asleep but she will get it, she just needs help and comfort to learn it. good luck and hopefully someone with more wisdom than me will be along soon.

Thank you, and i think your advice is very wise! All sounds good for me, apart from ignoring and reading a book. I would if i could! But as we co sleep, she crawls and wrestles/bites me (she thinks this is really funny) and i have to be constantly picking her up and trying to lie her down, which she eventually cries and screams at. Also can i just ask, regarding baths (as we only bath dd every few days), do you think it's a good idea to bath her before bed as she LOVES the bath and gets over excited, splashing about and then cries getting out and getting dressed (not a very calm way to end the day).

if she gets that excited having a bath then maybe its not such a good way to end the day! But you can always increase the book time on the other nights or pick another thing to do (bedtime nursery rhymes maybe?).
If you co-sleep is she in your bed or in one of those cots that attach to the side? We sort of co-slept till ds was about 18 months in that he went to bed in his own room in his cot but because we both work (me only part time admittedly) we would just bring him in with us when he woke up as it was easier at the time to do. I guess what I'm trying to say in a roundabout way is pick some activities that become her sleep cues, keep talking to the minimum, keep the lights low and one day she'll get it! If you keep changing her bedtime routine then she won't get a chance to learn when its time to go down.
maybe the fact that currently she goes from nice warm sling to cold bed is what wakes her up too? I think it would do that to me. DS loved his sleeping bag and we would put in it for his last feed so he would be cosy when he went to bed.

We did have a good routine before which worked for calming her down for being fed to sleep. She just refuses to be fed to sleep now which is why we put her in sling. We co sleep with her matress attached to ours, no cot. The main things i'm stuck with are deciding if she's ready to be taught to self settle, and how to handle being wrestled and bitten when trying to lay her down.