Help please - 9wk old won't nap in day, won't sleep long at night

[WildhoodChunder]

Help! DS won't sleep in the day for more than 5 mins if I put him down, or more than 30 mins maybe twice if I let him sleep on me. He tends to go down for the night at 8.30-9.00pm and then wants food around midnight - he goes down in his basket for that sleep (darkened room, quiet), then co-sleeps with me from midnight. Tried to get him down earlier and it won't happen. He'll then wake again around 3.30-4.00am for more food, and then he's awake and unhappy until I get up around 8, when DD rises. He looks like he's trying to sleep at several points but bunches up and cries which makes me think wind?? We're co-sleeping from midnight and he's BF on demand, but this is killing me.

sounds normal to me.

But you need some rest.I used the baby whisperer book with my 4th dc and it got him napping very quickly.Sleep seems to breed sleep.The more they have the more they want.He needs your comfort and reassurance which is why I think the baby whisperer book would be good.

It is normal what you are going through and it will pass. x

Like Fidelma I used baby whisperer, I had this book and it really really helped.

www.amazon.co.uk/Whisperer-Solves-Problems-Teaching-Questions/dp/0091902517

I didn't particularly stick to the suggested schedule/routine of the day but used the sleep techniques and they were brilliant.

With my DD1 that I tried to BF on demand like you are told to but she only ever snacked, once I changed to trying to feed every 3 hrs (more often if she needed it, she didn't starve!) she started having more milk in one go and that helped her sleep longer both for naps and overnight.

Hope things get better for you soon!

Althogh its hard, I think it sounds normal too...and you have my fullest sympathies as my DD still wakes-a-plenty at night at 10 months!The night time stuff sounds actually pretty good for 9 weeks.

I know naps can be difficult, as biologically day time sleep is different, and trickier to encourage than night time, particularly during the early months while baby is sorting out his rythms/self/adjusting to the world stuff! I found the 'No cry nap solution' a really useful read for hints & tips.

Try to hang in there....the more I surrendered to things being hap hazard and knackering during the early months, the easier I found it. Hope you are getting as much help around the house, etc as possible.

Rest when you can, and know things will change in time.
Good luck!

Thanks. Is it normal that he's only getting a max of 8 hours sleep in total across a 24 hour period? I thought they were supposed to sleep more than that? We've got the No Cry Sleep Solution but we've still got lots of crying and no sleeping! Might give BabyWhisperer a go, is that PUPD though? I tried that for a 20 min period of hysterical baby and we both ended up in tears. Sat here now having given up, with him BFing as it shuts him up at least. And it's not hunger as he's comfort sucking not feeding. And he won't take a dummy.

Seriously considering giving up the BF and going onto formula, not that I am under any illusions that it will make him sleep longer but at least I can be somewhere away from him, sleeping. It's not fair on DD, I'm permanently on the edge of tears due to sleep deprivation.

8 hours across 24 does seem pretty hardcore...for him & you.
Does he settle in a sling at all?At least that way you can do something with DD rather than being pinned to the sofa while he sleeps, altough it still means you don't get any rest.

How about the buggy/pram?Would he sleep in there?You could go out with DD then, also.

If sling/pram works at all it also means it is starting to get him used to the idea he can sleep without a nipple in his mouth!Although I do appreciate that it does not enable you to rest at all.

I know how wretched sleep deprivation is, & if you feel you need a break to sleep could you express a bit so you could get a few hours in?

hi i don't think the baby whisperer recommends PUPD until 4 months as it's supposed to be too stimulating for small babies....try her shhh pat technique instead, it really worked for us.

In terms of sleep i think he should be getting about 15 hours or somewhere around that mark so is probably very overtired on just 8, the more he gets the more he should sleep as sleep begets sleep iyswim - good luck x

Do you feed to sleep during the day? If not then I would. It won't make a rod for you, it will just let your baby get some sleep and then you can too.

He sounds overtired and so basically anything that lets him get more rest is what you should do. Will he nap in a sling during the day?

Thanks, I'll try sshh pat. He feeds to sleep but seems unable to stay asleep. If I walk him round in the sling he drops off but again for only 5 mins. He wakes up crying, so he's not happy about it either. I think I might pop to the GP with him tomorrow just on the off chance there's something underlying.

How is it going ?

Hi, it's got a lot better, thanks! He's mastered the art of rolling in the past three days and is burping much more happily - could be co-incidence, his daytime sleep is still not really happening but he is going for a longer a nights, and straight back down after feeds - we've even had a couple of 6 hour chunks! Amazing! I'd forgotten how much more manageable life seems when you've had some sleep...

Great X