So, have you told your HV you are co-sleeping/bed-sharing?

[redbird79]

Hi all, our DS1 is now 3 weeks old and we hae found the only way he will sleep happily (and therefore we get some sleep too) is to have him sleep next to me in our bed- on his side facing me. He can nurse lying down when he gets latched on ok, or I just sit up and feed him then lie back down and we go back to sleep. When he is in his crib he sleeps for an hour max and then wakes up in a state. When in our bed he will sleep from 12 to 5, then wakes for a feed and change for an hour or so, then will sleep again for another two or three hours. Much better!
So, should I say anything to our midwife/HV? I admit to having some nagging worries about the safety of bed-sharing, mainly because of all the negative advice I have been given by health professionals about it- what do you guys think? Am I just looking for reassurance I am not going to get?!

If they don't ask, don't tell, but I don't lie if they ask or say something about a cot etc. As long as you do it safely (read unicef leaflet) there is nothing wrong with it.

I personally would only tell my HV if she asked, but if you need advice about it then yes tell her.

There is lots of info on the internet about co-sleeping and how to go about it safely.

Its the only way my ds will sleep too so I wouldnt stop if my HV told me to, I know Im doing it safely so Im not putting him at risk.

Yes, but our local MWs work out of the same office as the HVs and they're very cool with safe cosleeping, which has obviously rubbed off.

Hi, sounds like my DS as a baby. He would not settle in a cot right from the beginning.
. With my subsequent children I invested in an Amby hammock and they settled very well because they weren't flat on their backs and developed the great habit of getting back to sleep themselves.
I loved co sleeping with my eldest but I never felt rested because I was always aware of him. With my other children they slept very well in the hammock right next to the bed and it was very easy to pick them up and feed them then put them back knowing I could fall asleep deeply until the next feed.
You are right, you will get no official sanction to co sleep. Just do it safely and don't bring up the subject on clinic day
good luck

Much appreciated- thanks all. How and when did you manage to get your baby into their own bed? I keep being told I am making a rod for my own back having him in bed with us...

Ignore the 'rod for your own back brigade', do it when it's right for you and ds.

I never mentioned co-sleeping to my HVs, it was none of their business.

I couldn't ever sleep properly with DS in my bed, although he slept far better. We got a bedside cot - he was still right beside me but because I couldn't physically fit in the cot and therefore couldn't roll onto him, I slept far bettr.

redbird We coslept out of choice. I didn't tell my HV because I didn't give a monkeys what she thought about it :o We moved him to his own bed when he was 2. Transition went well - he knows he is always welcome to come into our bed if he needs to.

We do have a big bed though - we had a bedside cot too but didn't really need it in the end.

I didn't tell the HV either of mine were cosleeping. We did it for the same reasons - neither of them wanted to be in the cot, they just wanted to be with me. As long as you do it according to the guidance etc, there is no reason to tell the HV.

I mentioned it to an HV (she was actually semi-retired bank staff covering sickness, so in fairness probably not that up to date) and she told me not to, it wasn't safe etc. I pointed out that in the hospital the midwives had recommended co-sleeping and had even showed me how to feed lying down and co-sleep safely and she just said "oh, things have probably changed since my day then".