how can I get my daughter to bed without the arguments.

[Poppett]

My problem is my eldest who is 4. We are having (and always have had) trouble getting her to bed. We have a set routine bath, story,bed. But most nights it ends in an argument as she decides that she isn't tierd and that 10 p.m is a reasonable time to go to bed and I (obviously) don't agree. She is the only one we have problems with,the other two go to bed fine. I put her to bed then she creeps down and finds some excuse i.e there's something I must tell you.... or I don't like.... Then to top things off she comes into our bed usually between midnight and three. I think that is where I used to breastfeed her and fall asleep in bed with her and to be honest I liked it, people would tell me I was making a rod for my own back maybe I should have listened to them. Does anyone have any tips for me- tried the blanket in the window trick so she thought it was later than it was but it didn't work.

I know the feeling, I have also posted messages here in the past under Bedtime Antics of a 6 and 4yr old. Mine also have always had a set routine I have adhered to, in the past I have even had my two sleeping on separate settees in the lounge while I watch over them then carried them off to bed. One thing I have learnt is that you cannot make them sleep, horse and water in effect, you can put them to bed but if they are not tired you will not get rest either. Now I am more relaxed and resigned to the fact I will never had kids who willingly go to bed with a smile. Now at 7pm, to give me some evening and so I can watch my soaps in peace my two go upstairs to play, they go straight to bed if they are naughty, and only come down when I call them for supper. If their room upstairs is tidy they get a toy in bed and a video, the deal is one video then sleep.If we hear any noises though the video gets turned off, further noise and then we threaten losing the toy. Putting them to bed later gives us some evening but I do still insist they get up at 8am school holidays or 7am school term, regardless of how tired. Try to be more relaxed, easier said than done, but it is worth a try! Good luck

Poppett, if she goes to bed at 10pm what is she like in the morning? Is she tired and grouchy during the day? The only thing I would suggest is putting her to bed with toys and books that she can play with until she goes to sleep but she must not come downstairs as it is now 'quiet time' for Mum and Dad and the day is finished.

Unbelivably she is really very good in the morning but as the day goes on she gets grouchy (usually with her sister)She did go up to bed o.k last night and both of them stayed up and read books (they were so quiet that we never heard them the only reason I knew was because she had turned on their light and there was a small pile of books on her bed). I don't mind her doing that and in the past when she has said she isn't tierd I have suggested her sitting and "reading" to herself and she would have a paddy because she can't read I know she plays up because she wants me to stay with her. I also thought about maybe trying to put her to bed at 8.30 instead of 7.30 as that extra hour up with us may just make her that bit more tierd, does anyone think that will work?

Me again, no if she's getting tired in the day it sounds like she needs to be in bed by 7-7.30. Have you tried a run round the park or a swim an hour before bed? Warm milk? Whisky!

Whiskey sounds like a good idea, or maybe even a pillow!!!. She must be phsycic because since I first wrote she has gone to bed really well. I put her to bed at 8.30 last night and she told me straight away that I could go downstairs ( usually I spend at least 10 mins standing outside her room until she says I can go - hence my irritation of her late nights ) If she keeps on going to bed well for the next month then I will have to find some way of trying to keep her in her bed