BBC Essex after your experiences of being left holding the baby

[GeraldineMumsnet]

Has anyone been left in this position? What age was your child and what reason/excuse did your partner give for going?

Oh golly, twice...

I'll give you the second time in a brief resume:

Partner said he didn't really want more kids
I said Ok we'd better split up, quite amicable

He said No I miss you, I'll have another baby, it'll be fine

I got pg

He turned into the incredible sulk, marched me to clinic to book termination, I couldn't, he sulked for weeks then said Ok, we'll have it then...
Then he got mentally and emotionally abusive, very controlling, never violent but a real nasty git.
He kept buggering off for days
Eventually my mother begged me to leave him, which surprised me as i didn';t think I had permission and would need her support big time.
I told him not to bother coming back, he fought me on this and wrote to my parents telling them it wasn;t his fault and I was a lunatic

He harrassed me a bit during rest of pregnancy
When child was born I rang him and he arranged to bring his older children to meet baby
He didn;t even turn up.
Haven't heard a peep since (thank f*ck)

That was that really.

His excuses btw ranged from 'My dad is ill' (his dad had been ill for years)
'I know I have been a git to you but you just don't understand, and I can't explain because you won't get it'

'My son has just left home to live with his mother' (son was 14 at the time - big deal)

Basically he didn't want the baby and I was as low down on his priorities as you can get. He loved his mother way too much and threatened me with her quite a bit.