Yet again. Thread deleted at OP's request

[TrippyMcTrapFace]

This one was in Relationships.
No identifying information, several posters have spent time responding to the OP who then decides to ask for it to be deleted.
Again, there was nothing identifying.

We're told that threads won't just be deleted willy nilly, but we're seeing it happen more often.
So what exactly are HQ's guidelines on this?

Another one deleted today because it was 'identifying'.

This is getting ridiculous, particularly when we're not allowed to edit our posts. If people don't want their thread to appear in the Fail, change some of the details.

Hi all,

Thanks for all your comments here.

We do understand that it can be pretty frustrating when we zap a thread, especially when a lot of people have taken the time to post. Please know that we don't ever do this lightly, and we always explore other options first - from offering retrospective name changes to editing out identifying details. Honestly, we do try!

So, while we wouldn't remove a thread just because the OP doesn't like the responses, there are going to be times when we agree to delete a thread that's causing a poster a good deal of worry or stress, or there's a danger it's going to out them in real life.

As we can see from your posts on this thread, it's incredibly difficult for us to get the balance right. Essentially, though, we just try to be as fair and reasonable as we can because at the end of the day Mumsnet is here to make parents' lives easier.

This annoys me I also got one on another name rejected for being taken down and it was very identifying, stating hours of things, specific issues, the make up and routines of my family, it was ridiculously identifying, but MN decided that it wasn't identifying when it seems some get threads taken down for essentially mentioning it happened today in Tesco's...BAM it's gone!

I think "not wanting it in the Daily Mail" is an excellent reason for requesting a thread deletion. Sometimes you ask a fairly innocuous question and the thread takes on a life of its own and morphs into something that Mail can't wait to copy & paste.

But HQ are hardly going to encourage caution about the Mail are they? In the end, no one will post on this site except the deperado wannabees who actually DO want to be in that rag.

I actually think it is fine. I am glad mumsnet are doing this more. I started a thread in AIBU with good intentions and got rounded and ended up really really distressed. I actually ended up with suicidal thoughts. I begged mumsnet to delete it but the time I was told that wasn't their policy. I think mumsnet need to have a wider remit to delete threads if it is making the OP very distressed, for instance.

I don't see why it matters. Unless you want your advice to be there for ever more. I rarely revisit threads I've posted on. And yes if a thread is causing a poster distress because of a pile in and a kicking I think MNHQ should delete if the OP asks.

@NeverTwerkNaked

I actually think it is fine. I am glad mumsnet are doing this more. I started a thread in AIBU with good intentions and got rounded and ended up really really distressed. I actually ended up with suicidal thoughts. I begged mumsnet to delete it but the time I was told that wasn't their policy. I think mumsnet need to have a wider remit to delete threads if it is making the OP very distressed, for instance.

Really sorry to hear that you were so distressed, NeverTwerk

Am in 2 minds in this. MNHQ kindly deleted my whole posting history when my dc discovered my username, so I feel like I can't complain. Otoh, it is annoying if you are posting on that thread and in the middle of an informative debate and it has been pulled because the OP doesn't like what they are hearing.
I guess for me, in the end, is the feeling that the OP owns their own thread and if they want it gone because they feel it is identifying, then ultimately that is their prerogative.

Bridesmaid ex wife hair one went today too.

Most annoying.

I honestly think that people should take responsibility for the threads they start, especially in AIBU. If someone gets rounded on it can be because they simply hadn't thought through the implications of what they posted. Personal attacks are obviously unacceptable and can and should be deleted. I must admit I don't think posters should be able to request and get deletion of the thread because they don't like the replies they get.

I don't understand the problem, tbh. So what if a thread is deleted? People say "there was a lot of good advice on there" but there are always eleventy billion threads in Advanced Search with the same information if anyone needs it.

I really don't understand why posters get so het up about this.

I only get annoyed when a good troll thread gets deleted and I've missed it.

But at what point do you decide whether it's because they don't like the answers rather than two identifying: I just found the thread I asked to be deleted, It wasn't a majorly active thread around 50 responses 30% of posts were mine but provided information on:

• strange behaviour at an unusual time

-identifiable details of a day to day activity my family do at strange times with the times Included.

• personal medical information about me such as MH and how it affects me
• medical and age of family members
• routine and make up of my family.

So in a sense: X happened me and my family do Y at Z time (which is unusual time). A we think has B which contributed to X but because A did X I'm X I'm really gonna suffer C whilst also detailing D And E's routine and how they fit in, with so many XACYs it may sound confusing but anyone who read the thread it may have been pretty obvious that it was me. But it was deemed not identifiable enough

I think threads should be deleted after 12 months anyway - unless they go to Classics. As PP say, no-one usually trawls AS for existing advice which could well be out of date and those that do get their arse handed to them for resurrecting a zombie thread

I agree MilkTwoSugars.

It seems ludicrous that every AIBU to ask what you're wearing today thread is still there and will be there forever more!

If posters were able to edit their comments, much of this could be avoided .....

AIBU threads should get deleted after 30 days. Who looks in AIBU for advice?

The thing I note is how frequently threads are deleted after making to the daily email round up. I wonder whether more thought needs to go into the algorithm which selects which topics to pull threads from and then having found the 'most viewed' thread, to consider whether they are really fair threads to share via email?

Ooh thanks for the heads up on that one, Cheep.

I think threads should be deleted after 12 months anyway - unless they go to Classics. As PP say, no-one usually trawls AS for existing advice which could well be out of date and those that do get their arse handed to them for resurrecting a zombie thread

Hell no! I google questions all the time and the top answer is nearly always a mumsnet thread. Just googled a question about cake tins - mumsnet. Recipes. Housekeeping tips. Not gripping drama, but really helpful stuff.

Noooo don't delete threads after 12 months. Every Christmas I go back to the flavoured vodka thread for inspiration.