I'm not actually Jeffrey because

[HoneyDragon]

In the interests of putting rest the suspicion and paranoia amongst us.
Especially as many of us will be newbies again I feel we should all (including MNHQ) prove we're not Jeffrey. By posting something our Jeffrey just wouldn't do, but a Mnetter would.

It won't take long and it's for the greater good.

I shall begin

I'm not actually Jeffrey because I steal toilet brushes from Centerparcs.

Right, who's up next?

I'm not Jeffrey as that name is not unique enough. I'm Judge Princess Snugglepants-Twinkletoes and my name has never held me back.

I'm not Jeffrey because I asked AIBU and everyone says I was. But they're all wrong.

I'm not Jeffery (despite being accused of being last night) as I hero-worship NAR.

I'm not Jeffrey cos I actually wrote the mofoing EKL thread.

I'm not Jeffrey because I don't take supersoakers to another child's birthday party.

IANJ because... I said so. Now go to your bedroom and think about how to behave properly. And do what I say, not what I do.

And because I know how to kill threads. Maybe.

Actually maybe NAR could save Mumsnet?

Darn. Have to practise my ninja skills.

I am not Jeffrey, but I am Joffrey and the last person to misspell it got their head chopped off.

I'm not Jeffrey because I don't even know who Zippy, George and Bungle are.

I'm not Jeffri because I have a basket of artisan slippers by my front door, and I bet he doesn't

I'm not Jeffrey because I turn to pigletjohn for all my plumbing needs.

I am not Jeffrey because I am too busy wearing my judgey pants and correcting other posters's grammar and spelling than answering.

Jeffrey is not my cat because I would LTB if he was, whilst starting a reverse parking thread in AIBU.

I am not Jeffrey because I insist on using only the smoked variety of paprika.

I'm not Jeffrey because I'm from Yorkshire, and we just don't go on like that up here

I am not Jeffrey because I am very clear which side of the towel washing frequency argument I am on. Plus I have never washed any raw meat.

I'm not Jeffrey because I have a penis beaker

I'm not Jeffrey because I know how to make a hamwidge.

It goes:

Bread

Ham

Bread

I'm not Jeffrey because I get excited when I spy an abandoned shopping list in a trolley.

I bet Jeffery doesn't like punching cakes in the supermarket.

Hamwidge instructions! Yes I'd forgotten about those! Kk

I'm not Jeffery because I wouldn't dream of turning up at a bake sale without chocolate crispy cakes.

I'm not Jeffrey because I have 6 penguin bollards outside my house.

I'm not Jeffrey because apparently I am the texture of undercooked lemon drizzle cake