I'm not actually Jeffrey because

[HoneyDragon]

In the interests of putting rest the suspicion and paranoia amongst us.
Especially as many of us will be newbies again I feel we should all (including MNHQ) prove we're not Jeffrey. By posting something our Jeffrey just wouldn't do, but a Mnetter would.

It won't take long and it's for the greater good.

I shall begin

I'm not actually Jeffrey because I steal toilet brushes from Centerparcs.

Right, who's up next?

I am not Jeffrey because I appreciate my time and would not waste it trying to stop a group of parents talking about when they can drink some gin and eat their kids pom bears once they have sedated their kids with calpol

I also am not Jeffrey because I think about things like whether the MN scarf is now a bit passee (also not Jeffrey because I don't know how to get an acute accent).

I am not Jayfray because I have (ironically) tons of twigs and pebbly shit - and a brown sofa.

And I know it goes FORKS, KNIVES, SPOONS.

I'm not Jeffrey because I know not to add grape juice and vinegar to a bolognese in place of wine, or to throw away pearls if the string breaks (my two favourite ever threads)

I think I might be Jeffrey. I don't own a toilet brush & I keep my shoes on in the house.

And my chickens only do 2 days worth of meals.

I'm not Jeffrey because I keep my bedding in pillowcases.

And I don't wash my meat.

no is telling me who jeffery is

I can never be Jeffrey while the lemon is in play.

The rest of the time I'm clinging to the side of a mountain with Elizaveta and Grizel. Worrying about people starting rogue Archers threads rather than posting on the official one.

Jeffrey is a very lonely individual who likes to stop parents communicating like a spoilt brat stomping it's foot. He also has a mild obsession with being BUTTHURT which puts his mental age at approximately 16 years old. Although that might be being generous. I think most 16 year olds have grown out of obsessions with bottoms and getting their own back on parents by the time they do their GCSE's...

Don't worry Grauch Joey will be along to rescue you soon. Of course she will then fall to the ground and be 'to all appearances dead'

I'm not Jeffrey because I can play Mornington Crescent

I'm not Jeffrey because my BIL is Kim Jong Un

Actually Joey spent a suspicious amount of time apparently in a private ward in Switzerland. With a typewriter.

She's probably Jeffrey.

I'm not Jeffry as I too have told the shower curtain to fuck off

I'm not Jeffrey because I am the thief that stole the homemade Christmas wreath from their neighbors front door and hung it on my own.

Jeffrey

I'm not Jeffrey because I know the secret tab trick with kitchen foil and cling film dispensers.

I also know the car filler cap secret, even though it's not true for my car.

I am not Jeffrey because i know the name of 'she who must not be named'

&

The difference between the Klaxons

I'm not Jeffrey because I don't have a fucking clue what my password is anymore.

I am not Jeffery as I love lemon drizzle cake and once had an affair with a policeman in Switzerland

I'm no Jeffrey because I have a Mumsnet Labrador (But I have never rimmed her!)

I might be Jeffrey because I have a brown leather settee.

I'm not Jeffrey because Jeffrey is my MIL. I married her little boy and then posted on AIBU about her dramatics. And now she is getting her revenge on all of you for helping me deal with her narc behaviour.

Mooncup.

I'm not Jeffrey because I once got told off by Val for carrying a kitten under my arm. Like a handbag.