Are we having too much sex?

[Toolittletoomuch]

Long story short, I am divorced. Ended a 14 year relationship due to lack of affection, and no sex for 2 years (his decision).

I finally felt ready to date again, and started seeing a man I used to work with. He’s incredible, generous, kind, a real gentlemen and I honestly am on cloud 9. We’ve been seeing each other for 6 months now and he stays over most nights.

My question is.. are we having too much sex? We both have high sex drives and it began as once a day and has now crept to 3 times a day, usually once in the morning, once when we get home and once before bed. It’s amazing - the kind of sex I dreamed of, and as someone who routinely faked orgasms I’m finally having them for real.

I assume part of this is the honeymoon period. It doesn’t get in the way of life/jobs etc and it’s very consensual but I’m 33 and it feels like I’m 16! I think I went from being so deprived - to this. Maybe I’m just looking for someone to tell me to stop overthinking and enjoy it..

Course not!! 🤣

Stop overthinking and enjoy it. 😊

Just enjoy yourself, when you hit the menopause you can look back at all the great memories of a sex life 😁

Don't listen to this @Toolittletoomuch

Lots of us get even more of a sex drive around the menopause!

Sounds like you're having an amazing time with your new man. Enjoy it now and i hope you continue to enjoy.

I mean.. definitely enjoy yourselves but tbh.. that is a lot?? Isn't it?? If you both have high sex drives then fair enough, listen to them / act on them, nothing to be ashamed of. Just wondering if you're questioning it from the perspective of.. are you worried it is a case of 'peaked too soon' as in.. will it die off and then you'll lose interest or the spark? Not sure - feels like you're asking for a reason.

Def no issue with having lots of sex. Just make sure you're building bonds as well, if you like him and that you feel confident he / you would be happy together even with less sex.

Enjoy while you can, it sounds fantastic. Go for it.

Nothing is too much, if you’re both enjoying it. 👍

The problem is not in the amount of sex you’re having, but in the amount of humblebragging you’re engaging in.

It’s perfectly normal OP, especially in the early days. But you already know that don’t you 😂😂

It was said tongue in cheek 🙄

For the start of a relationship, it isn’t really that much. It may well calm down after time.

But, if you’ve got a high sex drive, whatever your age, then just enjoy it. 👍

I’m long past the menopause, although still on HRT, and I still enjoy getting down and dirty. 😉

Don’t overthink it. 👍

Morning, noon and night sounds fun on paper, but do you do anything else together? Do you ever leave the house together? A relationship that's just built on sex may not last so long.

Three times a day isn’t too much if you both want it and if it’s not harming either of you in any way. I would just be careful that it doesn’t become expected, eg every time he gets home he expects some.

Surely that applies to both of them?

eg every time (s)he gets home she expects some.

We are the same as you, although twice a day is more common, but 3 times a day if were away / no kids etc and we are past the two year mark and its still the same.
The levels of affection, effort etc all still the same too.....enjoy!!

A relationship that's just built on sex may not last so long.

Said no man, ever.

I agree with you that there needs to be more but if a man is having sex 3 times a day he probably ain't going anywhere soon.

Said no man ever?
I know it's not a popular narative in the current climate, but not all men are driven my their dicks any more than not all women only have sex to please men. Neither gender has a monopoly on libido.

It won't be like this for ever but just enjoy yourself, do what feels right. As long as you're happy it's fine. There's no such thing as too much sex as far as I'm concerned, just too little 😂

no it’s fine, FWIW , my partner and myself are approx 20 years older than you and we are in the same boat, both of us have came out of long sexless relationships and we don’t live together and sex probably on an average of 4 or 5 times a week and we worry if it’s too much

Is there some concept of “too much sex” I’m missing? Like, sure if you get thrush or whatever but otherwise, what would the problem be?

In our case , neither of us are spring chickens, so joints are other parts are a bit sore sometimes - but the rest is good

If you're in your 50s, that's different. The NHS recommends it:

• do strengthening activities that work all the major muscle groups (legs, hips, back, abdomen, chest, shoulders and arms) on at least 2 days a week
• do at least 150 minutes of moderate intensity activity a week or 75 minutes of vigorous intensity activity a week
• spread exercise evenly over 4 to 5 days a week, or every day
• several short sessions of very vigorous intensity activity
• a mix of moderate, vigorous and very vigorous intensity activity

Are you still talking about sex here ?

All I'm saying is that that's taken directly from the NHS website.

Then best just enjoy.

I can’t think anyone lay on their death bed wishing they’d had less good sex. 🤷‍♀️