Is anyone vanilla anymore?!

[Imgoingoutforawhile]

I’m online dating and haven’t even managed to get a date yet before they all start talking about their fantasies and fetishes.
Is it so abnormal these days to just want dates and sex?
I’m not even looking for anything serious, just regular, but I guess I’m boring in bed and they are scaring me off with their kinks

I kinda understand my DP has a few kinks and previous dates have all been the same. Im quite open minded so im not offended but people now are verybhonest about what they want but maybe thats a good thing

You must have something that you particularly like doing?

It's weird. Who on earth talks about kinks before they meet someone?

A case of zero social ability.

It is weird but it's online dating that she's doing. This is what they do. They don't want to waste their time so to speak.

If the conversation moves to that subject then they aren't after a date. If you're in search of a date, move onto another conversation.

Waste their time? They are total losers if that's what they talk about.

What a sorry state.

It is a sorry state on online dating. It's getting worse.

Yes there are still lots of vanilla people out there.

But everyone believes that you have to be completely open online. So they portray their wildest fantasies as if they're the norm.

I'd suggest if they're happy to discuss their preferences pre date, then they're saving you time by doing so.

Have a look at the website you're using too. Some online dating apps are a bit more racy than others.

Yes OP I sympathise, It is really all about sexual pleasures and how soon can these 'pleasures' be achieved. There was another thread about men expecting anal on first date. Yikes!
Friends who are matchmaking for me speculating more on the man's likely performance and less on compatibility or even kindness.

My only on-line attempts have been when looking for a woman to date. Many of these get to the point very quickly. A large array of plastic and silicone 'toys' has become the status symbol to brag about. Nah, not for me.

Sex is an important part of any relationship. Barring the asexual spectrum. It has to go on the table at some point. Dating for a month and spending time together to find out that incompatibility is a waste of everyone's time and expense. If you're into kink and fetishes then use those sites there's plenty of them. If you want the girl next door then use those sites. Sexual preferences can grow in a trusting relationship and some times with a curiousness to explore. Even FWB sometimes wants to explore and if they trust you then it can be discussed openly.

This. Get to know each other first. 🙄

...and yes. Vanilla still exists. You might not find many online that will admit that. If it turns you off just stop talking to them when they start talking about fetishes and fantasies.

Wife here. And we here. Very much exist. We 17 years together, 15 years married.

And my husband always does 100% of the work in bed, I guess that how he ride his high. He Dominant for sure, but in the Vanilla way. My husband would go down on me, and proceed on missionary position PinV sex where he on top of me, kiss my mouth and thrusts at the same time, lol.

Never once he yank my hair or the stuff you see in porn, and I have long hair to my waist, he just gently slide my hair to the side to kiss my neck and shoulders.

Like he said, he not fuck me, he makes love to me. I'm not complaining because I do get multiple vaginal orgasms, and I love his body on top of me. I love him kiss my shoulders and boobs while thrusts at the same time. I love him stare at me in the eyes. I actually love he 'makes love' to me.

To other people that boring, but to us it never, to me it not boring because I love it. His styles of sex matches my needs, it works for us. And we do talk about sex comfortably, and we both happy with our Vanilla sex life.

It all about find someone who sexually compatible with you. Talk to the person you date OP. Communication is the key. If you comfortable enough to have a penis inside you, then you can talk to that person about sex. Good luck to you OP.

I’m galloping on in years, but I’ve never been vanilla. If both people are happy, then crack on. 👍

I am vanilla, I want to experiment, but kind of afraid. It would put me off if someone was too keen about kink before i'd even met them but its hard to know how to find anyone wihtout makeing promises