Could me, condoms, overlong foreplay or erectile issues be affecting penetration?

[Romancingthestone]

Hi,

Really need advice, sorry could write what I know on a stamp I’m early 40’s seeing someone in their late 40’s (we are roughly same height) who wants to spend an insanely long time in bed it’s all we seem to do, to the point it can hurt.

Frequently stripping off when I’ve not asked for it and now it has been the third time their penis might as well be soft on point of entry, so it slips out when they try and penetrate.

I’ve hadn’t had many lovers at all so it can’t be that I’m loose as it now feels they are trying to infur and neither am I not relaxed after the hours of foreplay and not scared of each other bodies. It is their insistence we responsibly use a condom and they also want to pull out just before ejaculation for added security with the condom, as they were a proclaimed virgin until we started getting intimate and since these attempts (no longer is alcohol consumed like it use to) they decide to tell me they’ve slept with someone in their 60’s who was great because they weren’t at risk of preg due to no periods, so no condom used.

I admit I’ve been using a little lube (despite being mid cycle I still have periods) as that is what is advised heading towards peri and I’d had abandoned sex before where it hurt when other bed buddies wouldn’t do foreplay and now this latest guy is reading up that they should too use lube? but the condoms we’re using also contain this. I just think it would be one slippery mess.

Over all the hours now spent in bed, I learn they masturbate daily or twice daily, are sex mad, and instead of porn prefer watching videos of females passing wind which I defo think as odd/each to their own and could they prefer anal sex (which would definitely have me hit the road)

Could Erectile dysfunction be happening? Or is it my body’s way of no longer clenching muscles down below anymore to prevent sex (I no longer feel Vaginismus is an issue just rejecting ? but how are they fingering deep with no problems and I used a dildo only other day. Thank you from a confused couple.

Jeez, I am now being told I have a big vagina. The poll has gone up 2 other women he successfully has slept with.

Ah no, he does do anal and his first time was with a sex worker.
Oh heck I wish I’d known this sooner.

I have suffered many times with anal fissures and haemorrhoids so nothing I think I would want to engage with.

Are you enjoying sex with him? He sounds pretty weird!

The amount of lube you use is completely down to personal preference. You can always add more / wipe it off if you've misjudged the amount. Check it's condom friendly too.

He gets off to videos of women farting?

I would be out of there so quickly what a freak

Yes I’m beginning to feel nauseous, the more he is saying the worse it is getting.

Cheque please!

Yeah this is going to be interesting/embarrassing/awkward as we live in the same town and have technically been swimming buddies for 2 years so not normally dated with nights out etc.

I thought he was pretty odd 2 weeks ago when it started to become much more; I really hope this fizzles out well. Least it has come out now rather then 2 years later down the line.

Throw this one back...

This isn't working for me convo

I am so confused by this 😅

No one expects to be lied to or bodily insulted beyond genuine help.

I’ve been looking after this fella for best part of 2 weeks who is ok to go away for 2/3 days a week draining my account then and careless how they phrase their insults, I haven’t even seen his home. I’ve written at least one other thread in relationships.

They claim they are new age but will watch you do dishes after sweating cobs, cooking an entire meal, will watch you struggle with bags and want to jump on you 6 times in 48 hours before chucking insults your way about your big vagina (which hasn’t borne kids and is a kick in the teeth in the dealing with Vaginismus).

Today I’m hearing how their first experience is of a prostitute, they aren’t the virgin they say they are, and can judge your anatomy really. I was wrong to post here and should just tell my parents and to anyone else in town who will listen.

If that is your thing best of luck. I’d rather go without the opposite sex if this is how they behave more aged nearer 50 - no thanks.

This is a him problem, not a men nearing 50 problem.

What twat thinks it's ok to tell a woman she has a big vagina? How is that conducive to a woman being turned on?

What twat tells a woman he's a virgin, then admits he's lied soon after?

The swimming pool chat will be fun after you end things. Don't let him be the reason you give up on men for the next few years if you're looking for someone/something.

Don't wait for it to fizzled out. End it!! You have agency, just tell him you don't enjoy his company and won't be seeing him again.

This is why it is important not to wait long before sex becomes part of the friendship. It is a road to many discoveries and gives you a chance to get out before investing time and emotions.

Dump OP