Forties and sex drive causing issues

[Sameshitdifferentdaymonthyear]

Before I start, I’m female and in my forties so probably peri-meno related, however, I don’t know what to do.

I literally cannot stop thinking about sex and it’s driving me mad and preventing me from behaving normally. I’m having a lot of dreams about sex in my sleep, which has me waking up thinking about it. I go to work and can’t stop staring at customers and colleagues and imagining them in a sexual manner, I have a strong desire to watch rom-com type movies which have a strong sexual energy and same with reading books, I’m masturbating a lot (sorry tmi) but it’s like day after day of it. I’m even getting horny over certain songs and bands.

It wouldn’t be so bad but my husband and I have mis-matched sex drives and I’ve always had the higher one. We always compromised and kind to went with the amount he wanted but it’s driving me mad now as I’m even hornier than ever. If I’m working from home, my head will tell me I’m getting it as soon as he’s home and come up with some fantasy of that happening but then he walks in and it definitely doesn’t happen which leaves me frustrated.

It’s not really my DH’s job to satisfy me as soon as he walks in and this is mostly about how I feel (which is kind of off the scale). Any suggestions? I’m finding it difficult to concentrate at work, difficult to make eye contact now with some men because I keep imagining all sorts and it’s turned me into someone who can’t get her words out in some situations which is embarrassing and not very professional. I also feel wrong for keep looking at men like this when I’m married and I love my husband as it’s often explicit thoughts and not just the odd one.

HRT and lots of exercise.

I don’t have any other symptoms to warrant taking HRT (especially as it carries some risk). I also exercise regularly already. Whilst it gives me something else to focus on and an outlet for energy, it is just another place where I can look at men and daydream about sex.

You don’t have anything to feel guilty about. My advice would be to lean into your feelings. Certainly watch those films and read those books! Masturbate as much as you want. If it feels ok - talk to your husband. You could start with ‘you don’t have to do anything about it, but I want to share with you how I’m feeling….’

One day we’ll all be too old to enjoy sex. Feeling sexy and exploring that can be amazing, so you may as well try and see if there is a way of including your husband in this.You never know, he might surprise you. If not enjoy your fantasies! Good luck

I think this is 100% true, one day we’ll be too old.. make the most of it now, get some toys, use your husband as much as you can and enjoy yourself and do what makes you happy!

I have no advice, but I’m your husband in my new (ish) relationship, my partners sex drive has exploded recently and it is slightly intimidating trying to keep up to be honest, let him know how you are, but also be prepared to be turned down now and again

You like and enjoy jolly good seeing too, this means your fit, healthy and your bodies working.
Stop beating yourself up and enjoy xx

Thank you. Yes I agree it’s not a sign there is anything wrong. It’s just difficult to navigate within a marriage where sex isn’t a priority and where daydreaming about men is causing me to lose focus at work and just generally. It’s like I’ve turned into a teenager where all that matters is sex. If I could admire men and that was it, it would be easier but it makes me feel coy around them and that’s not helpful when I have to work with them or see them in other situations. I don’t want these men to think I’ve gone all weird either 😂

Flick that bean as much as you want babe and invest in some new toys for the times in between sex with your man

Also, enjoy it, because it will probably disappear again at some point.

Harmless flirting is fun and does your confidence no end of good!