Too large (girth) /what can we do?

[Widowerwouldyou]

Register poster for many years but not on this topic before.
Can’t believe I am posting here -please be gently because I am quite sore 😂
I have recently started a relationship with a lovely man -all going well except for something I’ve never encountered before which is that he had a much larger penis than other men I’ve known, and there have been quite a few!
Was married for many years, very active sex life, exh was normal size, most recent before current man was very small.
My regular sex like with exh finished six years ago - and the the small ex bf we didn’t really have much penetrative sex (he was shy and nervous snd paranoid about small size)
New man is lightly on the larger size of normsl in length but girth is massive /too big to get my hand around. And just can not penetrate -too painful.
Unsure what to do. I am early 60s, but very fit and healthy and take a local estrogen pessary twice a week so lubrication isn’t a problem, tho’ not as prolific as in my very young days is the same as when I was with my exh. New man is just fantastic in doing everything/oral etc to arouse me.
It really does seem that I am too small. Both my children were born by c-section, so that area hasn’t had a child’s size head come through😂
Am seeing the doc an unrelated matter tomorrow-should I ask if they can recommend anything.? Should I get a toy to enlarge the space?
Quite despondent because this is the last problem I thought I’d encounter!

The only option is to buy a large vibrator a nd plenty of lube and practise in the hope the vagina will stretch. Keep It in ten mins each time.

I've also had all my kids by c section too and have had comments that I'm toned down there. I'm unsure if vaginal birth would have affected it as the vagina is designed to stretch and retract back. My DH is on the larger side. I think once you get used to having a bigger one it's extremely pleasurable. Use lube and go slow and experiment with positions that allow for shallower penetration. If it's still impossible then you're probably not compatible sexually. A sex toy or large penis does not make your vagina bigger, but it might get you used to it.

I believe you can get medical vaginal dilators. Basically a set of increasingly sized dildos. You might need a referral to a GUM consultant, and I could imagine there's an "exercise program" to follow, but it's worth researching so you know what to as your GP.

IME, even if naturally lubricated, it’s still best to use lube with someone who is well-endowed.

As above think there is sometimes a stigma around lube. One of the good pod casts I follow recommends lube ,lube and then more lube!!

A good quality silicone lube uber lube or Pjur should help if not using condoms.

I don’t know why there’s a stigma to some people! I’ve always used lube ever since becoming sexually active.

Just remember silicone lube is not compatible with silicone sex toys etc.

@PTown agree

I’ll go out on a limb and say I believe it’s a female stigma. From what I’ve read and partners I’ve had lube is the admission you’re not wet / aroused enough but we all use toothpaste so why not lube if it improves things.

Uber lube for oral is 👍

Thank you so much for this! Bought some lube and will start with that.

Just reporting back! Thanks so much for the kind and helpful advice - the lube worked!!!!! Honestly a real game changer -had no idea.
He is amazing anyway with the foreplay incredibly generous and tender so am now more relaxed which has also helped.
So now we’re all good.
Thank you

The only option? 😂

Are you a woman?

Enjoy!

My first “large one” was very similar
but it gets better lol

ENJOY!

Your doing his ego the world of good