I hate my small breasts because I know men don't like them?

[em2001ily]

I'm small, 5ft 2 or 3, and my boobs are only 30b, i.e. small....Only a handful for me because I'm a girl with small hands!

I'm slim, and I guess kind of pear shaped, I have a very small waist (22 inches) and round hips/ butt. I know that some men like this shape, but I think that men just care about a slim frame with massive (or at least large) breasts, and don't really care so much about a coca-cola bottle shape...For example, Kate Upton and Katy Perry have no defined waist, but are slim with large breasts....Lots of men adore them.

I can never feel sexy, or imagine being thought of as sexy, because of my bra size.... And that's what I want. I don't want to be settled for or just 'put up with'.I always imagine that a man having sex with me would be thinking of another, bustier woman....Do you think this would be the case?

I was also told this by a man on a different Internet forum:

I think yes. Most of ppl who say no are either PC or they’re trying to encourage you to feel confident by feeding you white lies. Just because you don’t have big boobs doesn’t mean that someone can’t enjoy having sex with you but that also doesn’t invalidate the reality that when men have sex with big breasted women that they aren’t more excited.

As someone who goes to the gym it isn't pleasant to think men are staring at and judging my boobs and thinking about my figure. If I was talking to a man I would hope he was listening to what I was saying, not thinking about my 'attractive muscular figure'.

Yuck!

It is possible to listen to what someone is saying at the same time as noticing that they are attractive. There is nothing to suggest that this man was perving over the woman or making her uncomfortable. I notice if a man is attractive, or even if a woman is (although in the latter case, there is no sexual element to it, but I do notice other women's style/figures) The man on this thread talked about a woman's figure in order to reassure the OP. This is, afterall, the sex section. I dislike pervy men as much as the next person but I think that you are reaching.

You still had to mention her personality though 🤦‍♀️

This guy has talked about his advanced age on quite a few threads. I wonder what age these women are with their small boobs and athletic figures...

And it's obvious at the gym when a man is checking out your figure. I wear Lycra and bra top which appears to be an open invitation sadly.

I was a competitive athlete for many years and had lots of men perving at the gym, at competitions, so @Gymbunny2025 is right, it’s not nice.

I am the same size as you @em2001ily and can tell you that in my experience men definitely like small boobs as evidenced by some of the sketchy experiences I’ve had at different events.

Attractiveness isn’t just physical though. Sure the initial bit might be but that’s only an initial thing. DH is sexy because of who he is overall, I like how he looks and he’s happy/confident in his appearance but if he was a twat and looked how he does I wouldn’t find him attractive. I’m a 34B and considered implants at one point, we talked about it a few times and the the thing that struck me was he said you’ve got to do it for you, not anyone else. Whereas I thought I wanted to do it to make me more attractive to him…meanwhile he loves my boobs and their shape. Apparently I have very nice side boob 😂

This thread is turning from the subject of small boobs to gym etiquette. It’s always a pleasant surprise when girls come into my gym to train in crop tops and tights, it lightens the atmosphere from men wearing baggy shorts and T shirts. Right cloths right location. The other day while in the supermarket a couple were shopping after going to the gym. she looked like she had been weight training. But she had the skinniest and tightest shorts on. Wrong gym gear wrong place. Please be kind with your replies 🙂

I firmly believe there is someone for everyone in this world. And that we should all strive to be in the moment and try to be the best versions of ourselves in every moment.
I feel sad that there are women posting that they believe men won't find them attractive due a physical attribute. For the record, I AM attracted a little bit more to women with more athletic body shapes. I also find more petite lingerie sexier as well.
I will admit I was insecure during being 18-22 years old and thinking no girl would find me attractive bc I didn't drink, was not physically enormous like a Rugby Player, and did not enjoy a rowdy night in a rowdy Pub.
Took me a while to realise that that was just not the right place for me..

I think you will see that I was very much not 'reaching' @ExercicenformedeZ !!! His response is even worse

I can see that you both have a point…. I think @DreamyPeachReader was just trying to make me feel attractive?

I agree that leering men are not pleasant. There’s a big difference between a glance and staring. I’ve been stared at before and I know the difference.

I’m trying to understand your thought process Gymbunny2025. When ladies attend gyms they wear appropriate clothing mainly tights and lose or crop tops. Are you say if a man looks at a lady he is a pervert for doing so?

Without derailing the thread anymore, I think it's perfectly natural for anyone, man or woman to look at someone who they like the look of.

However, men tend to be more obvious, and dare I say more inappropriate about it, and its a lot more likely that a woman will feel intimidated by a man staring than the other way round.

Plus, if a woman is in the gym, trying to work out, she is very unlikely to be there to be hit on. My niece is a PT and deals with this an awful lot, even when her BF, who would make a brick shit house feel inadequate, is with her!

DW often comments that she never sees me "checking out" other women, but that doesn't mean I don't notice anyone when we are out and about. I wouldn't make it obvious if I noticed someone attractive while I was out either with her or when alone, so that I didn't upset my DW, also and equally as importantly, so as not to intimidate someone else.

Looking is an awful lot different to staring/gawping and making someone else feel uncomfortable with being stared at is the main issue, I believe.

If some women feel sexy and attractive but they don’t have big boobs, how can you be sure that having surgery will make you feel sexy and attractive? And what if you have surgery and then you decide you need to fix something else to be completely attractive?

The reason I went on about love and meaningful connections is because the experiences I have had being objectified because of my appearance and particularly my boobs when I was younger, did not make me feel good. They made me hate my boobs. They made me cover myself and hide away. Almost all (actually probably all) the men I’ve ever been in a relationship with have been very unbothered about my boobs. Besides, our appearance changes over our lifetime, fixating on what we want to or should look like is a sure fire way of making yourself miserable. Surgery is not a fix for being unhappy in your skin.

@MySXforumnn Agree with all of this.

Did you post in relation to my original post question?

@ISpyNoPlumPie So if I remember your earlier post correctly, you have naturally large breasts right? So none of your boyfriends/exes have been impressed with your chest? They were not like, “wow”, when they first saw them?

I do understand that feeling sexy is a mindset, but that is mediated by what we know men find sexy. Lots of men seem to go wild over big boobs. Actresses who are thin with big boobs, like Sydney Sweeney and Alexandra Daddario, are always male favourites… there’s no point feeling sexy if men don’t see me that way. I don’t have a shopping list of things I want to change on myself - just breasts, as they’re a key point on a woman’s figure.

Having decent sized breasts is a key factor in making a woman sexy… they don’t like to see tiny triangles. Almost every psychology study I’ve looked at, the men rate larger breasts as more attractive.

Yes that’s right. I used to be around a 32F (went up to a 28H postpartum). Now I’ve breastfed two babies, lost a bit of weight and my boobs are smaller. No, I can’t remember any of my ex’s being bothered about my boobs. My DH is very unbothered, he really likes my bum though 😁. Bigger boobs might be attractive to some but I really don’t think that’s a unanimous opinion. Like I said, my experience of having big boobs was not really a positive one (more a journey of acceptance), god my sister even had a breast reduction as a teenager…

I think (and maybe I’m wrong) that men as a big amorphous blob probably find just about anything and everything sexy. There are lots of different body types/aesthetics that are attractive at different times and in different cultures or even in the same time and culture. I grew up in the 90’s heroin chic Kate Moss. It’s not my body type at all (and probably why I didn’t like my body type) but either way Kate Moss is attractive and sexy.

Anyway, it’s not my place to tell you how to feel or what to do. I just wanted to share an alternative experience. Of course you must do what you feel is right for you - not for anyone else.

An earlier post of mine was in answer to your question, but this specific reply was to the post by DreamyPeachReader immediately above my post.

I much much much prefer small boobs. I find them really sexy. I'm really sure I'm not alone.

Men don't all like the same thing, and plenty of men prefer small boobs

@em2001ily
I'm not in any way going to deny I find boobs sexy, but I also find bums sexy, legs sexy, women sexy...

I really feel you are looking in the wrong places if you believe "most men" prefer big boobs.

But.... What if having a boob job to increase your size changes nothing?

What if, you find someone that is enamoured by your boobs, and he's a dickhead?

What if, in 10 years time something goes wrong with the implants (not unheard of)?

At the end of the day, it's your body and your money. You must do what you feel is right for you.

As a man, some have a preference. I prefer smaller. But we tend to be fascinated by all boobs.

Oh sweetheart. I have small breasts and can confirm men do appreciate them.

Silent minority perhaps 😂

I do understand that feeling sexy is a mindset, but that is mediated by what we know men find sexy.

Oh OP, it makes me really sad that you truly believe this. Who sold you this lie?

The idea that there is one body shape or breast size that would make you more attractive to men (all of them?!) is ridiculous. Some men prefer busty blondes, some men prefer petite brunettes… people have a myriad of tastes. There is no “best” type of body.

In the past five years, I’ve gone from a size 8 to a size 14 and back again. Flat chested to full breasts. Lean and athletic to curvy. And you know what? I got positive attention from men no matter what size I was. Because I don’t care what they think. I like what I see in the mirror. My body made two gorgeous babies, is fit and healthy, and gives me (and hopefully my partners!) a lot of pleasure. I feel sexy and confident in myself without the need for male validation. It seems like you don’t…

Sure, if you look in the mirror and don’t like your body, go ahead and get implants. But do it for you, not because you give a shit about what some bloke might think of your breasts.

You do rather seem to have made your mind up; I wish there were a good way to convince you to be happy with yourself as you are.

FWIW, as the owner of small (but, I like to emphasise to myself) proportionate breasts and an appreciator of breasts small and large, I think you’d be be much better-off doing what I have always done and drawing attention to your legs and arse than you would be getting surgery.

(It was realising at 16 that I was never going to have attention-grabbing breasts that prompted me to stick at sports, and which led to a thoroughly happy life enjoying tennis, rowing and of course sex with men and women who appreciate a good arse. Superficial reasons? Absolutely, but they led me to fun and worthwhile things my life would have been inestimably poorer without.)

Oh dear, all this anecdotal evidence people are posting on here - real life men & women, not stats - and you still won't be told. You will get your boobs done, then no doubt find something else about yourself that you don't like to hyperfocus on & get "fixed". So very sad. All a result of today's fractured society.
Three of my wife's friends had breast cancer in their 40's/50's, all lost their breasts, one lost her life. One of my friend's sons fell in love with a woman he worked with, both in 20's, whilst she was fighting cancer. She had a double mastectomy - they got together, after this. Before you think, "what a guy", he doesn't want a medal for being a decent human being who isn't shallow. He fell in love. With every part of her body & soul.
Looking "sexy" for all of those women was the least of their worries. Please get some perspective.