I hate my small breasts because I know men don't like them?

[em2001ily]

I'm small, 5ft 2 or 3, and my boobs are only 30b, i.e. small....Only a handful for me because I'm a girl with small hands!

I'm slim, and I guess kind of pear shaped, I have a very small waist (22 inches) and round hips/ butt. I know that some men like this shape, but I think that men just care about a slim frame with massive (or at least large) breasts, and don't really care so much about a coca-cola bottle shape...For example, Kate Upton and Katy Perry have no defined waist, but are slim with large breasts....Lots of men adore them.

I can never feel sexy, or imagine being thought of as sexy, because of my bra size.... And that's what I want. I don't want to be settled for or just 'put up with'.I always imagine that a man having sex with me would be thinking of another, bustier woman....Do you think this would be the case?

I was also told this by a man on a different Internet forum:

I think yes. Most of ppl who say no are either PC or they’re trying to encourage you to feel confident by feeding you white lies. Just because you don’t have big boobs doesn’t mean that someone can’t enjoy having sex with you but that also doesn’t invalidate the reality that when men have sex with big breasted women that they aren’t more excited.

I agree! I am pleased to hear you are finally happy with yourself and I'm sorry it took you so long to get there.

“it's just about wanting to be found completely attractive by a man”

Will bigger boobs make you feel completely attractive to a man? Is that really realistic? There isn’t a single view of what would make a woman perfectly sexually appealing. I feel like I’m trying to be your mother saying please don’t aspire to this made up physical standard!

I find my DH completely attractive because of the person he is. The longer we have been together the less that has to do with what he looks like although I also find him completely physically attractive. Hard to explain! He could look like anything and he’d be completely attractive to me.

As a slight aside, I’m very petite, but used to have very big boobs (28F). I hated it. People/men didn’t find me completely attractive but many commented or touched me inappropriately. Spent most of the time covered up. Then met my DH. He’s not bothered at all about boobs (just my bum!) which is a good job since they are no longer that size post-babies.

@ExercicenformedeZ Thank you, and I can see where you're coming from, but Katie Price has horribly done, oversized fake ones...

I think if most men were asked to choose between Keira Knightly or Ariana Grande, or someone with fairly large natural breasts, like Katie Perry or Sydney Sweeney, I think most would choose the latter two. But I agree that badly done implants are bad.

I'm the same height as you, I'm curvy with a big bum and small but very perky small boobs which I've grown to love , I can go braless if I choose and they are so firm and perky, not sure that happens with bigger natural breasts , I'd never get surgery, my Dp absolutely loves them, it took him to make me see how perfect they actually are and sexy , be happy in who you are that's what makes you x

Do you really actually think that AG is a consolation prize for her partner?! He probably pinches himself every day to make sure he's not dreaming!!

I actually think maybe you should consider counselling on this issue before thinking about surgery. There must be underlying reasons why you have these thoughts (which are genuinely not true!).

I love small boobs. Keira Knightley all day (and all night) long please!

Keira Knightley, in a heartbeat! And I have no sense at all of what size her breasts are.
I'd probably leave the room if Katie Perry walked in.
(I wouldn't know who was Ariana Grande and who was Sydney Sweeney if they were stood next to each other.)
I can't help feeling you've been talking to the wrong men.

Man here. Whilst we men may have a built in preference (my wife finds men with long hair sexy. I've been disappointing her for 25 years) it is as other blokes have said the woman they are attached to we fall in love with. I firmly believe there is a man for every woman and a woman for every man. We all find different physical attributes attractive and I'm sure OP there is a man out there for you. A natural look and confidence in yourself is the key.

Any man who says that men don't like small tits has likely never seen tits irl since his mum stopped breastfeeding, and clearly has no male friends either.

Some people just enjoy saying mean things to make people feel bad.

I don't think that Katie Perry is seen as all that sexy, certainly not more so than KK. Ariana Grande I agree isn't all that attractive, but I think that's more to do with her odious personality than her breast size. I genuinely think that a lot of men see faces before they see bodies, so unless a woman is incredibly fat or incredibly skinny, the face is noticed first. I actually used to have the opposite insecurity to you, although I'm only a C cup a felt my breasts were too large as I am otherwise slim and gamine (small waist and bottom) On the whole, though, men didn't comment on my breasts either positively or negatively. The only remarks (mostly mean!) I had were from women. I don't think that men fixate about this stuff as much as we think.

Thanks, when you say men have an ´inbuilt preference’, do you think that men are naturally hardwired to prefer larger boobs?

I think that in our society the vast majority of men do strongly prefer larger ones, but I’m not sure if it’s biological as it wasn’t like this centuries ago, you just need to look at the old paintings….

That’s a bit off topic I know, but just saying….

@ExercicenformedeZ Thanks, I think a C cup is a great size. Most men would definitely be happy with that. Although I’m a B, I look like an A probably because my band size (28 or 30) is small. I actually once got a 28C and cups were tiny and fitted me… I’m sure you’re a nice real C cup!

As for Katy Perry, I remember lots of guys in my sixth form thinking she was hot, that’s about 12 years ago now….

@ExercicenformedeZ Also you should always ignore negative remarks from other women as they’re almost certainly jealous. I would never comment negatively on another woman.

Thank you! Neither would I.* I am sure that you are really beautiful, and there are advantages to being petite up top: even at a C cup, running can be a bit sore, and certain excercises/dance can be a lot easier with a small chest. I know how hard it can be to love and appreciate what you have, so I don't want to be patronising, but I am sure that you are much, much more attractive than you think you are. I am 42 now, and I felt really hideous when I was in my late teens right through to about my mid twenties. When I look at pictures taken then, now, I could weep. I was SO PRETTY and I didn't feel it.

*Not 100% true. I am negative about women like Katie Price and the Kardashians, but that is more about the lies they tell and their shaming comments to others, plus I am not really a fan of the very plastic look. I know some people think it is rude and negative to call out excessive cosmetic surgery, but I think it is important that these fake ideals don't become too normalised (vain hope!)

Male or female we all have what nature gave us.
those who have been lucky enough to have been given more than their fare share
should also be human and understanding that they are just that lucky

I am not @Minor1000 but I interpreted that to mean that everyone has their own preferences, they are not necessarily shared by all men, and that you fall in love with a person not a made up picture in your mind.

I have a preference for men with dark hair, but I’ve dated and loved men with lighter hair. One preference is not really that important. If you asked me to pick the five most attractive (to me) men from 100 pictures, they would almost certainly all have dark hair but that’s not real life. Oh and my DH used to have dark hair, now he has all grey hair and I love him more ☺️

Please don’t get hung up on what you think you have to physically look like to be acceptable to another person. It’s not real. One man likes blonde hair, another brown, red, whatever. One man likes big boobs, small boobs, long legs, big thighs, whatever!! Having this one (almost fetishised) physical feature so that men find you attractive has nothing to do with love or a meaningful relationship.

... or unlucky. 🤣

Take it you’re a man?

OP I think you are fixating that men are only attracted to women with large boobs. That's not the case. Similarly women will claim that men prefer blondes. That means that every woman with small boobs and brunette hair will be permanently single. Again not true. We men may have our built in preferences but that doesn't mean we have to follow them, often we might use them as a way of filtering out women in a crowded room before we pluck up courage to go and speak to one, or in my case go back to nursing a pint. My DW of 25 years had short curly hair which I disliked. She had it that way to please her parents. These days it's longer and both of us prefer it that way. With regard to old oil paintings and boob size I think you are wide if the mark. Women (and men) have been of different sizes and shapes for thousands of years. If we all fancied the same type of person then there would be an awful lot of single and disappointed people about. I have posted this recently but repost to make the point: Sigmund Freud the pyschoanalyst had a theory at men's preferences for boob sizes. Essentially he said that a man when looking for a sexual partner (wife) he would chose someone with the opposite in breast size to his mother. So if Mum was a larger or busty/buxom lady, wife would have a more boyish or athletic figure and vice versa. Check out your Dad's Mum versus your mum. It certainly is true for me and my Dad and also for my best mate. Please don't worry about these things. Stick a smile on your face and get out there. Confidence, well dressed and a natural look will work wonders.

@ISpyNoPlumPie Thanks. I know this post is really well meaning…
I know that people fall in love with a personality and character, and often that individual doesn’t look like their dream celebrity crush (or ideal physical type) if a guy has one…. But this isn’t what my question is about.

It’s about wanting to be found attractive straight away, and not falling short. Some people do start off a relationship through physical attraction - I think it’s important. Otherwise you may as well just be friends.

All I’m saying is that it would be nice - and it is possible nowadays with cosmetic surgery - to be found ‘hot’ and not lacking. I don’t think perfection exists, but certain ‘flaws’ are more noticeable and more of a turn off for men. I think small boobs are one of the biggest ones. Other potential flaws men wouldn’t notice or don’t care about.

As a slim brunette with not much cleavage I can definitely concur that men don't prefer blondes or big boobs! And actually OP I really don't like it when men find me 'hot' on first glance. I had an experience yesterday that really creeped me out. Why do you want them to be instantly attracted to your appearance/boobs? Thats the kind of man you want to avoid!!

For me it’s not - I just want to be found sexy/attractive.

Men who find a woman instantly attractive don’t all behave like apes and make crude remarks. You’re talking about a particular kind of man. All men make instant snap judgements on women’s attractiveness, whether they admit or make comments or not.

@Minor1000 The Freud idea is interesting - it would make sense to me, as why would a man want a lover who reminded him of his mother/grandma in some way?!

The only thing I didn’t like about your post was the equating small breasts to being boyish or androgynous- I don’t want to look boyish!! I also don’t think all small breasted women look boyish, especially not when they have a curvy shape like Shakira or Tyla…

I think that you're onto something with that! My father used to go on a bit about large breasts being not very attractive and 'vulgar' (he was a lovely man but some of his views about what it was ok to say were a little off) and my mother is more gamine than I am. His mother was large chested. It actually caused me a lot of insecurity growing up, feeling that my breasts were large and ungainly. My husband loves my boobs, and his mother was also more willowy up top than I am.

I totally agree that gamine women do not look automatically look androgynous: there is a lazy cultural shorthand that equates small breasts with being 'unfeminine' but it is BS. I actually think that small boobs can look super feminine and delicate. To me, at least, people like the Kardashians with their enormous bottoms and fake boobs look like a vulgar caricature of femininty. Under their makeup, they look quite coarse and masculine. There is a reason why that sort of woman is worshipped by drag queens, it is because it is easier to emulate that stereotyped femininity than it is to copy inherent feminine grace.