Page 2 | it's taking too long

Acesup6995 · 17/09/2024 15:29

ForAmberBiscuit · 14/09/2024 16:33

has anyone had problems with their male partner not finishing in a reasonable time? I am talking 40 minutes ish. I am bored sore and getting fed up. help and opinions please

A long time ago I kind of half ass tried to learn tantra but didn’t take it seriously enough to really learn it right. But I did kind of stumble on a breathing technique by which I could literally breathe through the wave of my own orgasm and not actually cum, kind of wreck it by deep breathing, and then stay hard and yeah go for like 40-45 minutes before I got to point where I would cum regularly. I was younger though. Strangely with my wife this technique has never worked when I try to hold back and when I try not to cum and she tries to make me get off she always wins that battle. I got no defense when it comes to her I guess.

So much gets hammered into men that they have to be super human and that they are never big enough and never last long enough and aren’t making their partner cum enough that I wouldn’t doubt he just can’t fathom the concept of not lasting as long as possible and is subconsciously holding it back. We are taught as men that if we don’t satisfy our wife to the point she is so obliterated she can’t talk then we have failed as men, it’s hard to lose that toxic masculinity programming. I still haven’t figured out a way yet

valentinka31 · 17/09/2024 18:28

Acesup6995 · 17/09/2024 15:29

A long time ago I kind of half ass tried to learn tantra but didn’t take it seriously enough to really learn it right. But I did kind of stumble on a breathing technique by which I could literally breathe through the wave of my own orgasm and not actually cum, kind of wreck it by deep breathing, and then stay hard and yeah go for like 40-45 minutes before I got to point where I would cum regularly. I was younger though. Strangely with my wife this technique has never worked when I try to hold back and when I try not to cum and she tries to make me get off she always wins that battle. I got no defense when it comes to her I guess.

So much gets hammered into men that they have to be super human and that they are never big enough and never last long enough and aren’t making their partner cum enough that I wouldn’t doubt he just can’t fathom the concept of not lasting as long as possible and is subconsciously holding it back. We are taught as men that if we don’t satisfy our wife to the point she is so obliterated she can’t talk then we have failed as men, it’s hard to lose that toxic masculinity programming. I still haven’t figured out a way yet

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Makes me feel sad reading about that toxic masculinity culture and I have always a bit wondered about the supposed 'ideals' in that, because I don't really think that's what I like at all.

No to hours of pounding. Just no.
No to a giant terror dick (just an average model with standard features is amazing in itself).
No to being pressured all the time to orgasm.
No again to any pressure at all, or anyone prescribing what is 'success' in bed.

Success is both feeling blissed out and happy and loving each other. And in each others' arms is way enough sometimes.

So I am calling BS on that culture, too.

But it's true, I have experienced my (ex) partner seeming to think he needed to continue in some awful porn star type way, at which point I would just say no thanks that's all been lovely but just stop.

A perfect man is so much more than inches and a stop watch can measure.

Fs365 · 17/09/2024 21:47

valentinka31 · 17/09/2024 00:36

Dazzler you are getting flack for this comment about 2 minutes but I kind of get where you're coming (...) from. Although I'd probably say 3.5 minutes. Because if he's really turned on then it's often an exercise in him trying not to come too quickly, because the natural process with no restraint really wouldn't take very long.

In my experience.

You clearly have had some pretty average experiences

Fs365 · 17/09/2024 22:06

valentinka31 · 17/09/2024 18:28

Makes me feel sad reading about that toxic masculinity culture and I have always a bit wondered about the supposed 'ideals' in that, because I don't really think that's what I like at all.

No to hours of pounding. Just no.
No to a giant terror dick (just an average model with standard features is amazing in itself).
No to being pressured all the time to orgasm.
No again to any pressure at all, or anyone prescribing what is 'success' in bed.

Success is both feeling blissed out and happy and loving each other. And in each others' arms is way enough sometimes.

So I am calling BS on that culture, too.

But it's true, I have experienced my (ex) partner seeming to think he needed to continue in some awful porn star type way, at which point I would just say no thanks that's all been lovely but just stop.

A perfect man is so much more than inches and a stop watch can measure.

Edited

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What kind of BS is this?

there are plenty of people who enjoy the sex and like penetrating part - just because it might not be you like - you don’t speak for everyone .

valentinka31 · 18/09/2024 20:26

Fs365 · 17/09/2024 21:47

You clearly have had some pretty average experiences

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ha no.

valentinka31 · 18/09/2024 20:30

Fs365 · 17/09/2024 22:06

What kind of BS is this?

there are plenty of people who enjoy the sex and like penetrating part - just because it might not be you like - you don’t speak for everyone .

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where did I say I didn't like the penetrating part?!! hahaha

Or indeed that I speak for everyone! I only speak for myself.

The whole thread was about a guy just pounding in a way which was not great for the OP. And someone said most guys come much quicker than that and I agreed.

Anyhow, it's immaterial what I do or don't like, or how quickly a million random strangers come. For the OP, the pounding goes on too long and she just wondered if any of the rest of us might understand why that's not ideal.