Vibrator realism

[Heatherson]

Long story short - I am 42. DH had a stroke a year ago and has been in hospital / rehab since.

Obviously my sex life is zero, and will be for the foreseeable future. I am largely resigned to this, and have bigger fish to fry anyway.

My libido is probably average-low generally, and masturbating every few weeks takes care of the basic urges.

However, given that it’s going to be a long term thing, I want to buy a vibrator. Masturbation takes quite a long time (sometimes half an hour or more). I’m hopeful that a clitoral stimulator will mean reaching climax quicker, which would be great. But I miss penetration as well, and the feeling of actual sex. So my question is about the realism of the rabbit type vibrators. Does the penis bit feel like an actual penis inside you? I have seen a thrusting one which seems to be something that replicates actual sex. Does anyone have one, and does it actually do that? The clitoral ones are much less money, and if the promise of a sex-like sensation isn’t actually real then I won’t bother paying the extra £50ish for a rabbit. Any thoughts?

I have a clitoral stimulator which also has a G-spot vibrator and it's amazing! It's from LoveHoney, I think it's called Indulge.
I haven't tried the thrusting ones but would be interested to know what they're like too.

I won't give any advice to you about which toys are best; but please value your satisfaction at higher than £50. You're unlikely to find what works best for you without experimenting and for that you would need to buy more than one (unless your local council runs a library of things that is much more wide-ranging than my one)

So buy and try different vibrators/toys/dildos and you should, touch wood, end up with 2 or 3 that really get you where you want to go and offer you some variety.

And treat yourself sometimes to longer than half an hour - because you're worth it

Good luck

Thanks but I’m not looking to spend a fortune or build a collection of toys. I’m not looking for a sexual odyssey - just an orgasm in 5 mins not 20-30 when I need one, and occasionally the feeling of being fucked.

I've had a few rabbits over the years. Personally I don't think it feels like a penis. If I've got the vibrating part on my clit, thrusting it in and out would take away from that. I find that inserting it just really holds it place. I've had a thrusting one and found it a bit uncomfortable. But it's personal choice of course.
There are cheaper versions of toys available on Amazon but they might not be as good as the real deal. For clit stimulation I don't think you can go wrong with a wand as they have a range of speeds. If it's internal stimulation you want then you could use a dildo and maybe add a bullet for clit stimulation at the same time.

I pretty much only use a clitoral stimulator - the suction type ones. Any faux penises just don’t work for me. They don’t feel or move anything remotely like the real thing. Not to me anyway, I’m sure loads of women love them.

I can have an orgasm in less than one minute with the clitoral suction toy.

Thanks. That’s slightly disappointing about the penetration.
Under a minute though?! That sounds like too quick! I have read similar about those suction ones. Not sure I’d want it that quickly.

Hi op

Ive had a read on the British stroke associations web page before posting here as I thought it may contain what I am going to suggest and as a chap thought that more appropriate but there is zero mention of it so I am going to go for it.

depending on your mobility you could buy a sex stool these can also be called queening stools. The ones recommended for people with disabilities have elastcated support straps (£70 love honey) You can then in non partnered play buy a toy mount(£15 eBay) and then be penetrated by the toy and use your weight to bounce on the elastic if that’s possible for you.

Re thrusting sex toys they are more expensive Bellesa have 60% of and they sell both thust thrusting rabbit and G-thrust. Lovsense also have what looks like a pretty impressive one.

I have not set it up but you could if physically able mount a thruster in a toy mount and use the sex stool too (I do own all three) I haven’t do this as then there’s no need for me!!!

If you don’t want to go down the penetration route and it’s speed and efficiency you require it’s a mains wand every time Hitachi, doxy fun factory (vim) no messing about with those and depending on your dexterity will cover a larger area easier these can also be mounted (Liberator axis I have one of these too)

My mobility is fine. My DH has had a stroke.

Thanks for your input but that sounds inappropriate for me and very complicated!

Apologies for my massive fail I missed the DH. There are other options but I’ve already made a dick of myself so very best of luck op hopefully someone will be along who can give better insight 👍

OP, you sound similar to me - in that you need a "full" feeling in your vagina and clitoral stimulation to reach a climax. My advice is not to use a working vibrator inside your vagina. I use a non functioning, penis sized vibrator inside (it is actually a broken one with battery removed) and a working bullet vibrator on my clitoris. I find that very small movement of the one inside (in and out) with the vibrator on the outside gets me to a pretty full on climax in about 6 or 7 minutes. I have tried rabbits and dildos but they just don't work as well and inside vibrations just neutralise the clit sensations. I find that the full feeling gives me something to grip on when the vaginal contractions start and it gives a much more fulfilling orgasm.

Thanks. It’s not that I need the fullness to climax. My issue really is how long it takes, with a secondary query about whether or not there is a way of making masturbation feel more like sex for when I want more than just an orgasm for relief.

Anyway, problem one is now sorted. I bought a cheap bullet vibrator at the end of last week, and used it for the first time last night. I came in under ten minutes, which is very quick for me. This is brilliant. So hopefully that need is sorted for a while. Next time I get the urge for more, I will think again about your suggestion.

It is too quick yes; which can be disappointing but great if you’re on the way out somewhere and it just catches your eye 😆

The more times you use it the longer it takes. There have been occasions where it just won’t happen but the sensations are still incredibly intense so it can be uncomfortable. Still prefer it over a dildo though. I have used both together but I couldn’t use a dildo on its own; I just get nothing out of it.