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Sex after children

2 replies

Sprinkl3s · 09/07/2023 15:20

This is a bit embarrassing, but I feel I need to outpour. My DD are 9 & 12, but ever since second DD things have never been as ‘tight’ down there. Suffered with a bit of incontinence but mostly gone now, other than the issue with the odd sneeze where I need to cross my legs. When I was examined at the hospital I was a 1/5 in terms of vaginal laxity, basically need to do some exercises to tone/tighten up. I’m really crap at doing them/remembering/fitting them in.

my DH is ‘average (5”)’ in the trouser department and since kids there’s a lack of friction / sense of fulfilment from PIV sex. We use toys occasionally but I just feel sexually frustrated quite a bit that I’m not getting the fulfilment I crave.

I know it sounds so shallow, I’ve only had a handful of sexual partners and he’s the smallest of them. Before kids sex was okay, we were quite adventurous etc and it didn’t bother me but now since kids I just feel so sexually frustrated.

I know I need to crack on and do the bloody exercises, has anyone been in this situation and found they work/make a difference?

I feel so horrible posting this but I just want to have mind blowing, hot sweaty, passionate sex again with some sensation down there!!

OP posts:
Bewilderedandhurt · 09/07/2023 15:50

There is an NHS pelvic floor app "squeezy" that might remind you to exercise and improve tone that is frequently mentioned on MN pages.
Have you discussed with your GP, there are gynae physios in some health care regions.
There are also kegel trainers available on Love honey and similar.
Like all muscles exercise will increase tone, otherwise surgery might be an option.

Nocirculation · 09/07/2023 16:13

My wife bought a kegel machine. Think it was kegel8? Works well

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