WWYD - FWB?

[OfcourseitsaNC]

My 53 yr old FWB is on holiday with his mates next week.

It's possible that he'll have a one nighter with someone.

How do I message him to say "please make sure I'm safe when we meet up after you get back"? Or do I not, and just ask him to his face when I see him after he returns?

I was opting for the latter, but my friend today said I should do the former.

WWYD?

When he returns you ask him to have an STI test and use condoms until it comes back clear. You don’t need to be coy about it: you’re having sex, and you’re in a non-monogamous relationship, just be practical. The message comes across a little bit wheedling in tone, which it shouldn’t be.

Just ask him, matter of factly, what he’s been up to whilst away.
If there’s been anyone else then take the appropriate measures. No coyness.

I wouldn’t message him before he’s back.

100% this ( and it should apply both ways as well),

I'd wait until he's back and then message him. As suggested, keep it simple. "Hope you had a good time. If you got laid while you were away, can you get a fresh STI test before we next see each other?"